When do the urges fade out in the 90 day cycle?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by klikker, Oct 16, 2014.

  1. klikker

    klikker Fapstronaut

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    And after 90 day the urge backs again maybe?
    Because if it is yes.. then this challenge is impossible to do
     
  2. Steve78

    Steve78 Fapstronaut

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    I'm on day 6 and have started noticing the urges fading away somewhat - but they're still there. What helps me at the moment is to practice mindfulness: I pay attention to them as they are; I watch them closely... and move on to something else, get things done :) What also helps me a lot is to reframe this: the urges are there to teach me something. Hence, I've started to practice dealing with them. This is a skill, which can also help you when you later want to have sex with someone ;) Plus knowing why you are doing this and what goals you are pursuing in life. Is it a healthier lifestyle? If so, what additional means can you implement in order to get closer to that goal?

    Hope this helps - cheers!
     
  3. klikker

    klikker Fapstronaut

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    Im was on day 50 and the urge is still here... somebody say its for forever...
     
  4. I cannot tell from my own experience, because my maximum was about 35 days "hard mode".

    But I suspect that the urge can never be totally "eradicated" from our brain. HOWEVER, THERE ARE STILL GOOD NEWS: It can be "superimposed" by developing a completeley new attitude towards life. We need to focus on our goals, on DOING, on going forward, on focussing to be a balanced person. And then we automatically "forget" about PMO. It will stay in the background.

    The PMO addiction is a LEARNED BEHAVIOUR, and it can be changed by switching to A NEW BEHAVIOUR.
     
  5. VanillaMochi

    VanillaMochi Fapstronaut

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    There's always going to be triggers and urges.

    The 90 day NoFap challenge is to reboot your brain. After that you have to reset it by changing your behaviors.

    I'm aware that 90 day's isn't enough to change a 15 year old habit.

    Hope this helps.

    - VM
     
  6. klikker

    klikker Fapstronaut

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    I know that but i thought if I do it 60-90 days the urge become easier to deal with it... Im not a fckn rich people who can switch PMO to skydiving or flying with my own plane.. do the GYM and running simple not enough to turn my thinking out from PMO.. i like to produce music.. but its not enough too... if i play video games.. its maybe good sometimes.. but some people say switching addiction to another addiction is a very bad idea.
     
  7. You don't need to be rich, and many people who are born into rich familys are also just bored, not knowing what to do with the money - in fact, they are wasting their money, actually wasting their life time.

    Living a meaningful life means to use the resources you have.

    Do you have any DREAMS or LIFE GOALS ? Is there something which you REALLY would like to do?
     
  8. lifeistooshort

    lifeistooshort Fapstronaut

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    well this whole past week, I've had no pmo urges, atleast not that I can remember, I've been super busy, but I suspect im in the flat-line so I guess we'll see what becomes of them!
     
  9. klikker

    klikker Fapstronaut

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    Up!
    So If the urge never fades out totally i need to live my whole life struggling from the addiction pain?
     
  10. **John**

    **John** Fapstronaut

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    No after a certain time, everything from your former addictions becomes controllable.
    The problem is, we are not talking about addiction here- we are talking about normal sex drive. And this wont vanish this easily completely since it having a sexdrive is absolutely normal and healthy.
    The trick about NoFap is very simple: You have to change your life that way, that you dont feel the need to fap anymore. And here all the benefits of NoFap come from.
     
  11. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I think there is some confusion in this thread about what your question was referring to. We have all sorts of urges: normal sexual urges; urges to masturbate; urges to use porn and so on. You also ask if after 90 days the urge comes back again.

    Generally, as addicts of masturbation and porn, our normal sexual urges have been severely damaged. The start of the 90 day challenge is usually pretty tough. However, most find that after a few weeks they enter the flatline (i.e. no libido and few erections). This continues for several weeks or even 2/3 months (with occasional blips of sexual desires). This is indicative that the brain is going through a neural rewiring. Then, normal libido comes back, with more erections. If the person has truly stayed away from porn throughout, they should not now be objectifying people as sex objects and have no appetite for porn. Some decide to continue abstaining from masturbating, others may choose to do so infrequently.

    That was an attempt at an overview, but we are all different and our age, sexual experiences and masturbation and porn history is different. So, no day can be put on it and the 90 day challenge is a kind of average. Some find their reboot is completed before then and some afterwards (as you would expect with an average). I am not sure if the answer you want is in there somewhere - I hope so! :D
     
  12. klikker

    klikker Fapstronaut

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    And if i Go for Softmode for lifetime, then my Brain Rewiring or not?
    Because i feel very bad after 30-40 days of abstaining totally... I have nausea... and everytime i relapse is because of my work.. and because of i cant sleep.... i cant go working like a totally crazy sick man who never slept last night...
    Or i thought about 30 day hardmode and after lifetime softmode (so only masturbating)
    What's your thoughts?
    (Oh and im a webdesigner :D so the porn is always one click away from me...)
     
  13. Colinv

    Colinv Fapstronaut

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    You will always have sexual energy, that won't go away. Use it for the good, spend that energy in working out, making music or learn a new useful skill. Urges for PMO can be controlled.
     
  14. Exactly, sexual energy is the base of our life, it is powering us. You can not "eradicate" it, that would be suicide. You can USE it.
     
  15. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    the urge does not fade out. sometimes it is stronger and sometimes it is weaker.

    i relapsed after 104 days hardmode. the pressure in my head was so extrem i could not resist.

    i think we have to learn to live with this urges and with this horniness.

    the magic word is CONTROL - the control of LUST and PASSION.

    we damaged our sexual-balance extremly. we did this damage over several years with consuming hardcore stuff.

    i am sure a complete healing will take more than five years pmofree - maybe more.

    sad but true!
     
  16. JasonC

    JasonC Fapstronaut

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    PMO is all about selfishness. One of the keys to overcoming it, IMO, is to turn your thoughts outward rather than inward. Find people to serve - help at a soup kitchen, donate blood, teach someone to read, pick up litter along a highway, "adopt" a grandparent, etc. All of which cost nothing, yet the pay you will receive in blessings / friendships / karma will be priceless.
     
  17. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Sorry, but you are confused again klikker. 'Soft mode' only applies during you reboot (not the rest of your life). 'Soft mode' means you are doing the 90 day NoFap challenge and are having sex. Hard mode means you are doing the 90 day NoFap challenge and are not having sex.

    I don't understand your counter because it says 65 days without a reset, but you also speak of "every time I relapse". Have you got an accountability partner klikker? Because they should be able to sort this out for you.

    Can you state clearly if you are masturbating during this 65 days and, if so, how often? If you are masturbating (and edging) but not to porn this will make the reboot much longer and could describe some of the symptoms you are getting :/
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 18, 2014
  18. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I disagree monkotto about your comment that "the urge does not fade out". I assume that you men the urge to masturbate to porn. Many can testify that they no longer have the urge to do this. You only went 104 days and did it again. Maybe if you had reached four, five or even six months you would have had a complete neural pathway reboot. If that isn't the goal, what is the point of even trying? To be porn free may take 5 months (approx.), but not, 5 years! What you say is, indeed, sad. But, thankfully, it is not true!
     
  19. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    better i say in my opinion it will take five years - and i said a complete healing.

    five or six months for healing an addiction which lasted 10 years (in my case) - impossible!

    i have no scientific material to prove this - it is just "healthy" human intellect. in my case a porn and sex poisoned human intellect.

    and you say only 104 days - damn that was hell for me! it was a REBIRTH! :)
     
  20. IGY

    IGY Guest

    No offence intended. I broke my 124 day streak three weeks ago, so I know what you mean about 100+ days being an achievement. There are all sorts of factors involved, such as how old you were when you started with high speed internet porn etc, etc. But there really is no evidence that years and years have to pass. I was just trying to say that another 6 weeks or couple of months from 104 days may have been all that was needed. :)
     

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