When i was 14 i looked at child P, now i want to kill myself.

Yes there is. There is somebody who paid for the atrocities you've made.

If you want to overcome this addiction you'll have to accept what you have been hating, denying, what you like, what you enjoy, wetc. You'll never be able to forgive (on/for yourself) if you don't accept what has been done and what is. For instance, there is nothing to forgive if I deny that a rober has stolen my cellphone...

The first step for forgiveness is acceptance.

I highly reccomend you to get a job or something in wich you could put on your attention. Thinking too much is unhealthy, you'll be only damaging yourself and getting deeper if you continue blaming yourself.

Remember, "nothing is impossible".

 

Why don't you open up here. I did, and I should be the last person to judge considering the things I've done. People have the capacity to do fucked up things, people make mistakes. The other side of that coin is that people also have the capacity to do great things and correct their past behavior. That's being human. Stuff like this resulting from addiction and loneliness aren't moral grounds for someone to judge you or say you're irredeemable if that's your fear. Your misdeeds probably aren't as incalculably bad as someone who actually molests kids in real life and posts pictures of that shit online. Anyone who does that has done something unquantifiably evil. In my opinion, that's where the line is drawn for being irredeemable.

Or not, it's up to you. I think getting things like this off your chest is the first step along with what Branchman said above.

 

I have been opening up, though mostly in threads made by another such as this one. It's on the list to make my own thread in this sub-forum. There's something appealing about being the person who makes the thread over hijacking another persons. Probably due to taking more ownership of my own mistakes and more directly asking for help.

One I'm sorting out is how to describe my own actions. Embarrassment.

I'd like to think the people who've done way worse than me are still redeemable. It has been hard enough to come forward with my own sins. I saw lifelines out of my own misdeeds so I believe they deserve a hand out of their own death spirals. Of course they have to come to see that what they are doing is wrong and truly desire to change. Otherwise, there's nothing I can do.

 

That makes sense. Either way it’s good to get whatever is on your chest off of it because I think that’s the first step toward healing from it. I see what you mean about taking your time, that’s important too. So as long as you’re taking steps to change and don’t go back to the person you used to be, you’re doing what’s right!

 

I suffer from a same similar issue and I need help, since the start 2019, I became aware of my actions in the past and i still suffer from my addiction. Im currently 21, have no motivation to do anything for education or work due to this. I cant open up to anyone about it. My friends and and family. I absolutely hate my life, but i dont have the courage to commit suicide. I need help. Im pretty new on this forum. So angone willing to reach out, it will be appreciated.

Thank you

 

It's a head scratcher to me to read posts about kids who looked at other kids their own age naked when they were in fact kids at that time come here and state that they want to end their own life because of it? Either it's a cry for attention, or it's written by a person who is really wayyy older who has a problem but peppers in that they are a young age so they don't get flagged and get a knock on their door ... in 2022 thanks to places like snap chat and other sites, at any given moment their has to exist millions of photos of minors That are being shared with other minors and almost none of them think they are doing something disturbing or otherwise illegal

 

Don't commit suicide, you're more than the sum of your mistakes. Don't let the past ruin your future man. Become the best person you want the future you to be now. My inbox is open if you need someone to talk to.

Either way so as long as the behavior stops and doesn't translate into real life (by doing something incalculably evil like a real chomo would) then redemption is possible. It's as simple as stopping watching porn. I agree social media is awful especially for kids.

 

Side note...Never got how the term for child molester got its name shortened to "chomo"? I mean the only letter o in the whole phrase is in the "mo" wouldn't it be "chimo" or "chilmo"?????

 

Hey Bro just passing by after reading your post to say that I completely get what you're saying I've been through very similar stuff and feelings but you can get through this. Very serious advice bro : talk about it. You just must. You are gifted a life and if you find yourself thinking of ending it, you MUST talk about it to other people. Take it as a moral sense. If your siblings were in the same boat : What would you say to your best friend ? To your mom ? Your dad.

I'm pretty sure you would have a very different answer to the ones you give yourself.

Treat yourself the same way you would treat people you love because you don't know it now but you actually deserve it.

Sending you strength and hope bother stay hard.