When it all boils down, is will power the only tool we have?

[AlohaKoala]

I believe it was Freud who said that will power, or the ego, is a finite resource. Meaning that once will power has been exhausted, it's extremely hard to fight the primal inner desires (ID). Those desires being virtually anything which brings pleasure, of course the most powerful of them being sex drive. I've seen this referred to as ego depletion, and many factors can influence just how much will power we can utilize, much like a fuel tank and how much fuel we can keep putting in to it. Porn, and PMO specifically, requires so much will power to fight it's almost like having to run your will power engine at full power just to keep it in check, and there fore burning though your ego fuel at an alarming rate. Porn addiction is figuratively a mountain we have to climb using our will power as an ATV, and each time we run out of ego fuel we go tumbling back down to the bottom.

We can continuously refuel this tank with any number of strategies mentioned elsewhere in any other threads and videos, but ultimately when those strategies fail or our ego is depleted, we fall into relapse. So what I deduce is that, the only real tool we have is our will power to fight our urges. These other strategies we use are just ways to keep adding ego fuel to the ego tank.

Would i be wrong in this hypothesis? Or are there other factors at play. Of course there are logistical things like, not having privacy to PMO or lack of internet connectivity or lack of porn in general, but ultimately we cant live like were in boot camp every day of our lives, and the internet has become so essential to modern life that we just cant reasonably give it up outright. Nor can we live in constant company of others ensuring we cant masturbate.

So is will power the only real tool we have to fight PMO? And as I said, there are many things we do to boost will power, but at the end of it all, doesnt it all fall on our individual egos as to if we succeed or fail?

 

[yup]

I think that willpower plays a factor, in combination with habit. When we are trying to change our habits and natural rhythms and daily patterns, it requires lots of willpower to break out of the established daily habit/routine

I found that my habit of pmo is tied to the time of day, and the circumstance/location that I am in... (am I sitting at the computer alone in my room... etc.) I found that right now, from the period of 2-4 every day I would find it harder if not almost impossilbe to resist pmo if I was in my room sitting at the computer... urges come up out of nowhere. I get tired from working all day, I just ate so I’m tired, my mind gets restless, my state gets shitty, my willpower is diminished and I usually cave in if I try to keep working on my computer in my room. I have less willpower to break the habit I built up over the previous year, where every day before I would pmo during this time of 2-4 and when I am sitting at my desk.

I found that I need to get out of my room during that time and do something structured, like a workout or yoga routine.. so that I dont succumb to temptations. I can no longer work on anything during this time. I have to just get out of my room and do something else during that period of time. So far this has worked for me for the past couple of days. Once 60 days have gone by, and my body has developed a new habit, I think that I will be ok and things will be pretty easy at that point, less willpower will be required to resist after I built up a new habit.

 

[fredisthebes]

With reference to forum favourite 'The Power of Habit' by Charles Duhigg.

It takes enormous will power to 'break' a habit, but replacing one habit with another can be achieved with a much more achievable level of will power, and a lot of self-reflection and trial and error. Figure out your triggers (stress, boredom, home alone, can't sleep, etc), and find another way to get the reward that you desire (relaxation, sleep, excitement, ...) that is a bit more edifying, or at least, less damaging.

Habits aren't all bad, just ask the people with fitness habits, healthy eating habits, sleeping and morning/nighttime routine habits, meditation habits, journaling habits, ...