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when to restart a streak...?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself, Dec 16, 2018.

  1. Hello, I'm new to this thread. If this post is not right for the topic, I don't mind if it needs to be moved: I tried to find the right place.

    A little history follows, then my question is at the end, feel free to skip to the question:

    In 2018, I have done a lot of NoFap time, which for me has been such a dramatic change. Before this year, I was overweight, slow, tired, indifferent, stupid, foggy, a slug.

    On New Years day of 2018, I got to 16 days for the first time in 28 years. I'd never put together a full 5 days before, so it was a profound change for me. This site and your brain on porn really made it all possible. I didn't even know such a community existed, or that even there were other people who had any inkling to give up PMO. I thought everyone wanted to live in the shadows.

    At any rate, on days 8-12, I went through a brutal withdrawal. I have detailed in my journal how bad it was. It was worse than when I quit drinking in 2011, and worse than when I quit smoking cigarettes also in 2011. Way, way, way worse.

    But on day 13, I woke up with a new clarity. It is hard to describe other than to say that I had an ability to "think" for the first time. Also my energy and motivation skyrocketed.

    The problem was that because of this sudden shift of energy from a depressed state into 120 mph on the autobahn, I had to be hospitalized. I have a long history of bipolar, and I went into a manic episode. There is no way to come down without help.

    After I got out, I was in the chaser for around 2 weeks, but when I got back on track, I did a 97 day streak. It was the best of times and the worst of times! At the same time!

    It was good because I lost about 100 lbs, and did a million things that I always wanted to accomplish. I wrote 2 books, I became a trainer, a yogi, and many other things.

    The only drawback was that now I and the people I knew were wrestling with a different person now, to say the least. The people I knew couldn't comprehend the new me. They liked a lot better the nobody, the pushover, the moron. Their negativity started to get incoherent. I stopped taking their calls as much, which made them resentful. Finally, I had to shut all of these people out.

    I needed emotional survival at that time. I was struggling for myself, to become the me that I finally was trying to get. I had to jettison all the naysayers. There were many.

    I ended up lonely. The inside of my apartment became my best friend in the spring of 18. Some nights I looked at pictures of my deceased cat, and wished I could put the knife to my throat.

    Somehow, I listened to God when he said not to do that. He said the answer was to lift weights. Believe me, I lifted enough volume to make Arnold look like a rank beginner! And, it worked.

    As the year has rolled along, I have done so many things, it's pointless to recap the richness of my new life. This is why I suggest donating to NoFap, because this program via the information, journaling or community changes lives for the better.

    The question:

    As the year has gone on beyond the 97 day, I have put together lots of small streaks, but I really feel a calling to get back to NoFap.

    Call it fear. I'd hate to blow all of the good things about myself, because of relapses. But all this isolation has had one bad thing, which is that since I'm not around people too much, when I do get into a conversation, it's like a dam that floods as it bursts.

    I hate to do that to people, but its nearly impossible to control. I'd nearly jam all of the info in an encyclopedia down a cashier's throat at the gas station!

    Still, I think going MONK is important. So should I wait until the first of the year?

    I don't want to start right now, but it is also corney to make a "new years resolution". Maybe Dec 31, 2018 could be the first day. It's not too far off, honestly.

    It needs to start on a monday. I have had it ingrained, like most people, that monday morning is a serious time to work. That could be Dec 31. I could get through a day one, and build on that. Staying in the chaser too long is disasterous for a million reasons, as you all know.

    A certain amount of chaser is unavoidable, and I'm not one to beat myself up over it. What is the gain from that?

    However, I want to get another reboot started, and if the reboot goes well, maybe just stay with it, as time goes on.
     
  2. Fabian7

    Fabian7 Fapstronaut

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    Can I send you some helpful links about this subject?
     
  3. Fenston999

    Fenston999 Fapstronaut

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  4. Yes I'd like to see your ideas!
     

  5. I'm one step ahead of you. I think I made this post on a Sunday, and I ended up going ahead and doing it. I have a day one now, working on day 2 today. And that's the only goal, make day 2 happen!
     
    KeetsScrim likes this.

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