When will my libido come back?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Abkar, Sep 22, 2020.

  1. Abkar

    Abkar Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone! Please I need help from someone that recovered from lost of libido using nofaf.
    My brief history:
    I was a long term porn and prone mustabation addict for about 15-years, now I'm 31- years old. I experienced almost all the negative effect of PMO on my brain, my body and everything.
    I discovered nofaf this year and decided to give it a trial. I go for hardmode reboot and reached 4- months successfully in my first attempt. On my 131 day, unfortunately, I reset by mustabating without porn only once. I learned my lesson and continue with my streak and today I'm 179 days in(6-months).
    I got uncountable benefits and improvement in my life during these 6-months. My only challenge is:
    Up to date I don't feel anything when kissing, romancing, hugging my girlfriend. I don't know what it/ how it feels when in contact with a woman, just body on body, flesh on flesh, nothing like exchange of electric impulse or whatever.
    My question:
    Please I want know from experienced individuals if my issue means that I'm completely damaged by porn or if there is still hope for me to regain myself.
     
    ThomasTheCat likes this.
  2. ThomasTheCat

    ThomasTheCat Fapstronaut

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    Man I am so long in this journey and I'm in the same boat.


    I had a libido for a few days, I managed to have sex a couple of times without pills. I was so happy. I started talking about "sexting" with two friends with benefits because I was so excited. I went to have sex with one of those girls and that was it: there was no more libido. Even with the pill, my penis did not rise.

    I know it's "PIED" because I didn't really feel that lust I was feeling a few weeks ago. There was a time when I got close to a woman and I got excited, a rare thing. Now everything is gone. In all this time, I must have masturbated about 7 times - I haven't watched porn ever. I stopped smoking cigarettes, I intend to stop smoking marijuana. I really think that all of this is related to dopamine receptors.

    PS: I used google translator, sorry for the bad english
     
  3. Sleeperhead

    Sleeperhead Fapstronaut

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    I was in and around day 40-50 and in flatline. I could feel next to no arousal when looking at girls.

    What I did to get myself out of it was the day me and my girlfriend attempted to have sex I fantasised about her all day. Basically was constantly checking her out. When it came down to it she was lying naked on my bed and I could not get hard by looking at her. We was constantly touching and making out and from that I was able to get a semi and penetrate her. I finished quickly from this.

    The next day was out of flatline pretty much and was able to feel arousal and we had sex again and was reasonable.

    Each time after that was able to get harder easier as long as there was at least a few days rest in between, until eventually I would suffer from premature ejaculation. But that is starting to even out now.

    The last time we had sex I was hard enough just by looking at her and lasted around 30 minutes. So you will get there.
     
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  4. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    You abused your brain and body for 15 years. Much like an obese person abused food, it’s going to take a long time to heal. My husband didn’t even start to see changes until 4-6 months clean. After a year we noticed a lot of changes., every slip ( even just masturbating) messes him up and his dick doesn’t work right. It’s going to take a lot of time.
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  5. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    How long have you gone without real sexual interaction with a partner. I have a feeling that your body can also adjust to having no sex by reducing your libido. It is like you need to get your mojo back. I personally believe that like after days 30 - 60 you should be actively trying to engage in sexual activity. Does not have to be intercourse, just kissing and hugging and cuddling etc. In my experience I found that doing these things with out putting pressure on myself to perform really helped. Remember the goal is stop using porn and to resume a normal sex life. Somehow I feel doing hard mode for extended periods has negative effects. I also believe the anxiety of having PIED gives us performance anxiety also. It is hard to be in the moment when you are worried your penis will not work. This is a severe mental block. It is important to get comfortable in sexual situations, there is no way you can enjoy and have sex if you are stressing and worrying.
     
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  6. Abkar

    Abkar Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your reply Sir! Though we are in the same boat, but my issue is a bit difference. For me, I don't have problems with erection or maintaining it as I use to have strong erection when I'm with my gf. My only issue is lack of enjoyment or I don't know how to put it.
    I'll be hugging or kissing my gf but I don't feel anything at all. I never tried having sex with her as it's forbidden in my religion outside marriage.
    Thanks dear,
    My problem is I don't feel aroused
     
  7. Abkar

    Abkar Fapstronaut

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    Im
    I'm also 6-months clean, may be it will take me up to the 1-year or morr
     
  8. Abkar

    Abkar Fapstronaut

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    I have never tried having real sex in my entire life. With regards to other sexual interactions, I used to have them with my girlfriend occasionally to test myself and that was when I realized I don't feel anything, just wasting time and energy.
     
  9. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    I don't think the interaction with your GF was a waste of time and energy. I think your mind and body needs to adjust back to normal. The fact that you have never had sex is most likely working against you also. Porn is your norm. May be wise to seek out a sex addiction councilor who has experience with porn addiction. Better to get some professional insight instead of guessing.
     
  10. Abkar

    Abkar Fapstronaut

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    Alright, thanks so much. I'm grateful for your advice.
     
  11. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Hope you are able to find a good councilor. Maybe you should poke around NoFap for some references also. Good Luck bro!
     

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