When you reach a place where you are excited to be a man again...

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Ohcaptainmycaptain, Jan 7, 2019.

  1. Ohcaptainmycaptain

    Ohcaptainmycaptain Fapstronaut

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    Boys, the single greatest thing I can say about nofap is that you are excited to be a man again. Let me preface by saying that I am only apx 45 days in, so I am not some pro at this...but now I can see with clear eyes, and clear mind, that I WILL BE.

    Short stats and then the big picture, and lemme also preface in saying all of you guys who have posted have personally been of immeasurable help to me. Truly immeasureable.

    Status check - these 45 days have been very difficult. I won't sugarcoat it. I had one prior streak of apx 35 days, a couple of years ago, but fell back into old habits and even though i had great and motivating trends, I fell back in, as we all know is easy to to.

    First the bad, and then the good.

    1.My flatline right now is pretty miserable. I have zero urges in any physical way, and yet my mind still wants P esp. And I have caved 4 times, but have not MO'ed at all. And it was not satisfying in a very frustrating way. It is as if my mind wants the juice, but my body is just not responding AT ALL.

    2. I am EXTREMELY irriatable and boderline agressive in a way i have never been before. My MO one line summary has always been that of the gentle giant. I am kind of the quasi intellectual (tongue in cheek), go with the flow, docile guy. Married, no kids.

    The agression has been oddly satisfying and a bit scary at the same time. It's a see-saw effect in that that agression does wonders when channeled into healthy things and I swear this no PMO is like a mild meth or something. I'll get to the good and productive later, but damn. I have had a rollercoaster of a life in the last year and have faced some real and meaningful difficulties and shit that I had buried is COMING OUT. And in almost a visceral and uncontrollable way - not violent at all, but just these emotions are raw and they are coming to the surface and it is almost like i am vomiting them out sometimes I shit you not, and even with a usually self-aware perspective that tries to diffuse before they amplify - it is just wow. Extreme mood swings, etc. To any meyer-briggs folks in the house I'm a laid back, stoner, writer INFP with a corporate job that is usally walked all over because I would rather pander and smooth shit out than have sides at war, in whatever the context. So this is NOT my normal, or maybe it is :)... in some happy and healthy middle ground. Still processing and going through this in real time. And I don't think the severity of the way this is manifesting is due soley to NoFap - and is mostly due to a lot of stuff from this last year, but where it would be pushed back down in my depressed and numb state...now it isn't. And I'm actually glad about that, even though it is hell right now.

    Okay enough with debbie downer and on to the good, because it is worth all of the bad, for all the good that is coming about.

    The super powers boys...are real. It is true. All of it. I'm married so I'm not seeking attention at all, but the eye contact and women coming up and talking to me in ways that DID NOT HAPPEN before NoFap is enough to say hmmm...this doesn't seem to be your run of the mill anecdotal placebo effect. I am just a normal guy, and that change is enough to be like damn, and hey we all like feeling validated.

    The energy and focus. Every one of us is different and is going to have a different "best thing" about NoFap, but I would wager to guess that for a lot of the best thing is the clarity and focus.

    I have been on anti depressants since my late teens. I have had severe anxiety and depression issues for all of my adult life. I am a champion and advocate of mental health awareness and steering such conversations. I have tried every supplement known to man. Spent hours and hours and hours and hours and hours on reddit and forums reading and trying different things multiple presription meds...every damn day - meditation, d3 supplements, magnesium baths, magnesium pills, ashwaganda, st johns wort, more time in nature - more time exercising - juicing, weed, kratom, alcohol, taking time to be self-aware of my anxiety when i work from home vs working from the office, and on and on and on and on.

    And now...I cannot even tell you how amazing it is. I spent most of my day in fear...this ambiguous, cloudy, impending doom sort of fear over my head...my wife would help me every time i would get through the thing i thought would surely be the end of me...and then the "next thing" would pop up.

    And it is all gone. I can say unequivocaly (FOR ME) this has been the single most meanigful thing ever in piercing that cloud. It is 85% gone. My social anxiety is almost gone completely. All the things the guys have said in similar posts - i just want to bang that drum and say-

    Men, this might be the single biggest shift you ever experience. I have nothing to sell or benefit in saying this. IT IS WORTH IT. IT IS WORTH IT. IT IS WORTH IT.

    Part of me agonizes what I realize is lost time. That the majority of my anxieties and numbed out day to day and years of embarassemnt related to PIED...when it could have been so different so much sooner. I have hope you will start sooner than me, but the calm I feel- and also nofap has given me the clarity and peace to deal and appreciate this new start I have been given.

    There is no drug on the market that has done to me what nofap has done...in 45 days...and it was by subtraction. No addition. It is REAL.

    Now the things I'm facing all have a perspective. I am calm. I am collected. I see little things that would slip by before - body language, or inferments in conversations, and you are just filled a peaceful and calm feeling (when im not in a wild ass mood swing, but i digress lol) that pervades everything. And whatever that is ...it translates...it is real. It is real because people treat me different without a lot of trying.

    I had tried meditation many times...but it never took. Now I have the clarity to. I have drive. I am doing stone work on redoing my fireplace this weekend because that just felt good and right. I habe never been that guy. My wife and I have lived in this house seven years and things like that have never come up.

    I could go on and on, but it is enough for now. I wanted to get on and spill my guts because I want to pay it forward.

    As I said in my title - I am proud to be a man. I feel like I know how a man should feel. And I have hope for the future and know that it will get even better.

    Best wishes. Stay at it. The fight is worth it. I don't know you personally, but I know you are worth it. I believe in you.

    More later, much love.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
    PRTe, Helmet430, KarmaWeaver and 33 others like this.
  2. Gideonite

    Gideonite Fapstronaut

    Great story. Thank you for posting it :)
     
  3. hydroxide

    hydroxide Fapstronaut

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    What an inspiring story! My longest streak was about the same length as your current one, 44 days to be exact, from June-August last year. I gave in to the flatline, not an urge, but just inner boredom and lack of motivation. I wasn't depressed either, just bored. But I found out that boredom really comes from the inside. After all, if you're feeling hype inside, how can you be bored by things from outside? Unless you're in a class, but then it wouldn't be a good place to fap anyway.

    Oops, I went somewhere random there. But anyways, the difference between me then and you now is, you can see it! You can feel the future with your hands, and you're excited for it! And you see what NoFap has done for you already, and you want more. That's the spirit, keep pushing through this!

    Though I fell back into a cycle of relapses after that, the streak has definitely empowered me to come back stronger - which I'm doing now. As for you, let the benefits you have gained and the even greater ones you will receive push you to go the distance! You can see your future, so don't let it go.
     
  4. graymatter13

    graymatter13 Fapstronaut

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    Great benefits man, it's amazing how you channel your energy doing healthy things and now can cope with it much easier mentally
    Congrats!
    Those inspire me to keep going
     
    SirErnest likes this.
  5. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    Inspiring stuff indeed. I've bookmarked it.
    Congratulations mate!
     
  6. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    i know what you feel! try to reach 90 now!
     
  7. Taqwa1

    Taqwa1 Fapstronaut

    Beautiful.
     
  8. Taqwa1

    Taqwa1 Fapstronaut

    Try? He is! I believe in him. He can and he will!
     
  9. Address_Unknwn

    Address_Unknwn Fapstronaut

    Great post! Thanks for the encouragement, dude!
     
  10. What a lovely post! I am so happy for you! Getting over social anxiety that debilitating is a huge accomplishment. Look forward to hearing more :)
     
    SirErnest likes this.
  11. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

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    Appreciate the post, man! Happy for you!
    It sums up both the ups and downs. Its particularly interesting because youve started doing things which you wouldn't have done otherwise...like ding the stone thing...keep it up!
     
  12. Celticwarrior16

    Celticwarrior16 Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely super stuff, I take so much hope from the fact that it has helped your mental health.
     
  13. Ohcaptainmycaptain

    Ohcaptainmycaptain Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. It is truly the greatest outcome thus far and it is humbling, truly. When you believe mental health will always exist in one way and then you realize or see glimpses of realities outside of your original beliefs - it is profound.
     
    Celticwarrior16 likes this.
  14. Dogmatico

    Dogmatico Fapstronaut

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    IT'S WORTH IT, IT'S WORTH IT, IT'S WORTH IT. hit me hard, cheers mate. Congratulations and keep up the new life.
     
  15. Enigma897

    Enigma897 Fapstronaut

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    thanks for the support brother
     
  16. fan_of_all_might

    fan_of_all_might Fapstronaut

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    Fuck dude! Love this story. You're story is fuel for everyone else struggling. Fuck it all and just commit guys. There's no use in holding onto the old you.
     
  17. Walk_it_out

    Walk_it_out Fapstronaut

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    Great great post bro! Really well written and put together too if I don't say so myself..Thanks for sharing this leg of your journey .It really is a great encouragement keep it up!
     
  18. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Have to be honest about the woman attraction thing...

    In this experience, like many others, you read things like "the woman look at me" "there's strong eye contact" "They like me a lot", and a lot of vague things and experiences like that, which i think, are in the 90% case just placebo, only the 10% of the case translate that immaginary thing into something real, and those are probably people who were already attractive before nofap.

    *flies away...
     
  19. Journey2therealme

    Journey2therealme Fapstronaut

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    I can’t say enough just how helpful this post was! Thank you. Truly, thank you for sharing that. It is so important to know that we are not alone. I related to your story big time. And the best thing about it was that I could visualize myself in place of you. That is the beauty of this community and with sharing. I am only on day 11 of my 90 day PMO, but I am beginning to see how the benefits can and will far outweigh the panic I feel inside about letting go what I have known to be normal and dependable for over 20 years.
    I am worth it. My girlfriend is worth it. My happiness and success in life is worth it.
    Thank you.
     
  20. Ohcaptainmycaptain

    Ohcaptainmycaptain Fapstronaut

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    Well said! That is it. THAT is the esenence. When you regain your mind and you see things as they really - it is AMAZING - well done and keep at it with the knowledge that it only gets better!!!
     
    Journey2therealme likes this.

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