When's the last time you had sex?

Simple matter of whether my wife ever takes me back or not.

 

Why? We've really got to stop considering sex a basic part of life. It isn't. I don't have a negative opinion of sex, but it's not a necessary part of a good or complete life. If my wife doesn't take me back, then that part of my life is over, and that's just how it is.

 

It's not a basic part of life; it's a basic desire, but so is the drive to consume as many simple carbohydrates as possible. The fact that we're conceived through intercourse has nothing to do with whether or not we need it in our lives. I'm not saying what anyone else should or shouldn't do with their lives. I'm saying that one can live a perfectly happy and healthy life without it. You don't know what my relationship with sex is, and you seem to be making at least some assumption about it. I don't need sex. I'm married and I'm not interested in sexual union with anyone other than my wife. If she never takes me back, then that part of my life is over, and I'm fine with that.

 

The difference is you're prescribing that people need a thing in order for their lives to be complete.

 

Lol

 

I see.

 

I'm with PaFappa the Rapper on this one (great name BTW ) I see people all around me enjoying themselves immensely having sex, and I want in on the action. On the few occasions when I can bring myself to actually do it, I have to admit that it's pretty awesome, and I can't find a rational reason why I don't simply do it all the time. I mean, I love indulging in other things, like eating chocolate, going to a movie, or getting a nice massage, so why am I not having sex all the time too? It just doesn't make sense to me.

For years I tried building an intimate relationship with women while avoiding sex as much as possible, and as far as I'm concerned it can't be done. Sex releases endorphins which create and cement an intimate bond, and without those chemicals, my partner and I are just two people in a house being polite together. I crave having a bond with a woman, and for pretty much any woman I'm going to meet, we both need to have lots of sex to cement that very bond. This is just evolutionary biology in action. And sex feels awesome, so why would I not do it?

I recently started digging into my past and discovered my aversion to sex stems from a pretty hefty childhood trauma that I conveniently ignored for years by telling myself: "it wasn't so bad". Well, it was terrible, and it messed me up good. When I ask others on this forum to dig into their childhood, there's always something coming up: early exposure to CP, a same-sex encounter, being taken advantage of by a much older person, take your pick.

So don't tell me having a low libido or being ambivalent towards sex is normal. I'm not buying it.

(sorry for the rant, Allen. I respect your view, but I feel very strongly about this.)

 

Never

 

You're putting a lot of words in my mouth, and half your point is "hey, hedonism is fun."

 

No hard feelings intended, I just disagree with what you're saying. But that's ok, we can agree to disagree. And "hedonism is fun" isn't my point at all.

 

I think my point is being mangled, honestly. My point is not that sex isn't an important part of a relationship. My point is not that there is anything wrong with sex. My point is not that people shouldn't want sex. My point is that sex is not a necessary part of life, and we should stop sending the message that without it you're failing.

 

I'm a porn addict, have erectile dysfunction and have sex multiple times a week with differing women and each encounter is worst then the next. This is how I have sex, we make out, sometimes I'm hard as a rock to be begin, most times not; I lose my erection pretty fast either way. Most times I don't lead her to perform oral sex on me ( like 95% of men do ) cause either I'm not erect or won't stay erect. I lay her on the bed and perform oral while I jerk myself to get hard. When I finally get hard I start having sex but that never lasts more then 5 10 minutes.

 

No offense, but before porn addiction, I use to be able to have sex for hours and have women ride me until they got tired. I can't come close to staying hard with a woman riding me.

 

Last sex was on Tuesday just gone about 3 days back. Will be a couple of days until I see my lady friend again.

Guys, there are loads of you on here who are talking about having given up or that it's hopeless.... c'mon guys! Things can get better but if for whatever reason you no longer consider yourself a 'catch' then figure out a way to fix it.

Life is long. Keep the faith, formulate a plan and be patient.

 

Prostitutes then, I guess?

I think your problem is deep. Really deep.