Where does a submissive fetish usually come from?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Peaceful magic 21, Jan 13, 2021 at 5:49 PM.

  1. Peaceful magic 21

    Peaceful magic 21 Fapstronaut

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    Over the years of porn and escorts/massage parlours I’ve had times where I’d seek out a more submissive role. I think it started actually having an erotic massage and the lady skilfully teased me with her feminine long nails. It felt good to be teased and seduced. Tickling my tender spots kissing my ears, running her nails over my head and then started to touch my ass crack and balls. It felt forbidden, naughty aswell as exciting.
    I’d usually opt for this sort of sexual behaviour when I had a hangover; it was used as a way of treating how crap and lazy I felt. Later on I got into lesbian strapon then to femdom strapon. I used to think the guys in the clips were weird and kind of gay and block them out, but I found to watch the dominant woman a real turn on. The skilled and sensual type did it for me rather than the more abusive Dom stuff. I watched hundreds of femdom vids and seeked out lots of bdsm escorts or mistresses. Most of the time disappointed with their set up or skill level at seducing me. It seemed too corny the dom stuff or they didn’t have the toys or couldn’t use them well. The odd woman knew what they were doing and it could be really stimulating; I guess that’s what kept it addictive searching for the ultimate. I remember feeling crap after being submissive to an escort. And really ashamed after watching pegging clips. But the escape was very intense.
    With girlfriends, flings and most escorts I’d be very dominant and love getting them off real alpha style often using skills I’d learnt from the doms. But if I was stressed or cross with myself I’d look for the naughty femdom mistresses, almost as a way of punishment or self sabotage and escape. Fast forward a few years and it’s obvious I’ve escalated into the shemale and even the messed up Hypno stuff. This stuff has been very damaging to my self esteem and am fighting really hard to over come it. Doing a lot better really but the odd slip up. But I just wonder where that submissive side comes from! Do I accept I’m a switch and like both elements or do I just stay away from anything kinky and submissive and hope it fades out completely. I just wondered if there are some psychological reasons for being into this stuff.
     
  2. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    It is clearly a porn induced fetish. You have been progressively brainwashed by porn. Porn installs subliminal thoughts from the beginning. Even watching 2 people enjoying themselves you are giving your subconscious mind the message “I am not worthy to have any real pleasure, but I can watch other people having fun” then as the porn gets weirder the messages get weirder. And in the hypnoporn the messages become blatant.
     
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  3. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Other subliminal messages “the girl is beautiful/kinky/nasty, I will never get a girl like her, I can only masturbate and watch, the guy is more worthy than me, his dick is bigger than mine” etc.
     
  4. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    If you watch a lot of porn, you spend a lot of time looking at other guys erect dicks, is that normal? If you had a normal sex life you would never see another guys erect dick. You can guess what subliminal messages this causes. Porn corrupts the mind and the beliefs of the mind. It is pure poison.
     
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  5. Peaceful magic 21

    Peaceful magic 21 Fapstronaut

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    Cool, so all that submissive crap will just die off? It’s worrying how crap I feel after watching the hypno stuff so weak like a shell of a man. It makes me wonder what’s been implanted!
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2021 at 7:03 PM
  6. Peaceful magic 21

    Peaceful magic 21 Fapstronaut

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    It is pure poison.[/QUOTE]
    Yea toxic stuff all that lust and abuse.
     
  7. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    If you have negative thoughts, you should wait till you feel low and identify what the thought is and replace it with something positive
     
  8. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Stop watching the hypno stuff especially if it make you feel bad. You have to ask you self why you want to hurt yourself?
     
  9. lenni990

    lenni990 Fapstronaut
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    Hey man,
    Maybe I'm getting it wrong and pls correct me if I do but it sounded like that the sub, femdom porn only feels good for you when it plays in your head or in porn. For porn-/sex-addicts its common that the fantasy or porn is much more intense than the actual sex, maybe bc of this Actual sessions with mistresses arent that arousing for you.

    For what I experienced when u feel ashamed or shitty in daily life sometimes especially sub/dom porn can be a great escape and some kind of a self-punishment to feed the self-hatred.
    All kinky stuff is okay in my experience but not when its linked to porn or fast-food paid sex liked with a mistress or something it gets dangerous. When its with a real person you get along well with its cool. But when u keep up getting ur arousal just from your fantasy both sides dom and sub will feel bad.
    good luck
     
  10. Peaceful magic 21

    Peaceful magic 21 Fapstronaut

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    Yea you’re right man thanks. I’ve often used that dominant side too on escorts and girl friends. Sometimes with escorts a bit too extreme. Often they’ve really enjoyed being the slut. This doesn’t make me feel that good spiritually but I bet it gives my ego a massive high from the control. Sex is very complicated isn’t it? I think most of these working girls have been abused and perhaps they’re tapping into this self degrading act too. But also it’s probably an instinctual turn on for a man to f their brains out.
    The porn will have fuelled the lust for more femdom acts, but I’d say 5 femdom escorts out of say 50 would be skilled and teach me new tricks. Plus the surrendering from the stressed of life and giving away control I guess was a release. But my sex drive would always want more like I’m searching, trying to drain out every last drop of something that isn’t actually solving the underline problems and trauma. I’ve had sex with an escort before who we were kind of mates too. She’d love it and wanted to then peg me. This didn’t feel as bad as it was turning her on and I’d just proved myself as a man with my roles in the session. That sounds a bit macho doesn’t it lol
     

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