Where is my strength?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Highlander, Oct 15, 2014.

  1. Highlander

    Highlander Fapstronaut

    I was doing good for 1 week, but in the last two weeks I watched P almost every day, I don't think I have that strength that most of you guys have. I do wanna quit PMO, I have already convinced myself that it's the best thing for me. I feel dirty inside, but I always come back to PMO.
    I know I just can't give up. That's not a option. But I just can't even begin my fight. I never saw a doctor to talk about it, but I think I have ADHD this is not is excuse, but my brain never was good in self-discipline. Endure in anything was not that easy to me. Yes, I did good things in life, finished a lot, but it riquered me unusual power.
    Anyway, it's hard for everybody.
    I am going to start again. Wanna hit 30 days this time.
    If there's someone with anything to say to me, please say, I will be glad reading it.
    (sorry for the bad English, I'm a portuguese native speaker, I'm Brazilian)
  2. scotey73

    scotey73 Guest

    I'm not too sure about how your going about this, but if you are relying on pure willpower to get you through this, you will fail. For example, some people take up meditating. They say it helps with centering your thoughts during those inevitable urges. Some people take cold showers regularly. This helps with training your brain to embrace discomfort, so when you feel the discomfort of an urge, you can embrace it instead of giving in to it.

    Urges are your brain's way of telling you that it needs it's dopamine rush. The way you've trained your brain for years (I assume you've been fapping for years) to get that dopamine rush is to look at porn. That's where the urge to look at porn comes from. If you haven't already, try visiting yourbrainonporn.com, and you'll learn the science behind your addiction, and gain a better understanding of your situation.

    Lastly, once you find a good routine that carries you through a week or so, you gotta stick to it, my friend. Don't fix what isn't broken. Stay the course, you can do it!
  3. Eagersalmon

    Eagersalmon Fapstronaut

    Think of it this way.

    Willpower is a limited resource, you can only fight urges for a certain amount of time before you will give in. Therefore whilst you still have willpower it is time to construct safety nets to stop you from relapse. I would suggest a complete deletion of all things porn related and installing a blocker. This is a battle that has to be fought in the real world and mentally.

    Therefore, when you get your next moment of strong will act, develop safety nets and supports. Then quit cold turkey. It may be harsh but I think it's unarguably the most effective.
  4. ADC

    ADC Fapstronaut

    100% true thing here. This is something everybody should be aware of before even considering stopping PMO. I'm going to post this famous TheUnderdog's post here :

    This is a kinda long post but in your case you should mostly read that a few times :

    Porn Addiction is Being Severely Underestimated. Very few are treating this as a true addiction. They just see it as a habit they want to break.
    This is evidenced by the stubborness of many, relying purely on willpower for months, only to constantly reset their counters and beat themselves up for not making any progress. Most people don't realize how incredibly difficult it is to completely remove artificial stimulation (of any kind) for the rest of their lives. We're talking about years and years of brain conditioning here.
    This is an addiction that has to be attacked from many different angles. You need a full arsenal of tools and strategies, as well as a proper mindset. Willpower alone won't do shit. What people usually try to do is go as many days clean as they can. That's all they do.

    That's all their goal.

    They achieve a certain amount of days, then for whatever reason they relapse, so they start over and repeat. That is abstaining. That is not recovering.

    People are focusing on the wrong things.

    They are not changing the way they think.

    They are not changing the way they live.

    They are not changing the way they view sex and women.

    They are just trying not to masturbate, while everything else remains the same.

    That, my friends, is abstinence, not recovery.

    You have to understand that "understanding that you are addicted" is only the first step. You can't stop this PMO addiction if you don't understand it, but you also can't stop if you don't know how to fight it.

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