where should go my focus ?

The best romantic and sexual relationship is between two people who want to work together as a team to build a life and family, not a pairing where a dominant person toys with a submissive one. If any girl starts treating you in the latter manner, move on and look for someone else, because it's clear she doesn't give you the respect you deserve.

Look for someone who genuinely cares about you, respects you and views you as an equal in the relationship. Those are the only girls who are worth your love. You'll generally be able to tell such girls apart from the rest by the fact that when you get to know them, they'll just happen to 'click' with you - you'll find they'll have some similar interests, values and personality traits as you, and they'll want to actively spend time with you and they'll show genuine interest in your life, family and hobbies. Use that as the threshold to determine whether a girl is long-term partner material - if she shows these qualities, get to it and start flirting, whereas if she shows little interest in you and more in your money and/or compliments, look for someone else who appreciates you for who you are.

Also focus more on personality than looks, because you don't want to be going out with that super hot girl if she acts like a whore and leeches off your finances, no matter how enticing she may appear.

It's all about keeping a balance between having the drive to go for what you want as you've been doing, but also having the backbone to know when to move on if things aren't working out.

Best of luck

 

Man are more designed to be after their goals and ambitions. Woman is more designed to look for bonding with people, of course also man. In general both genders look for social interaction.

From that point of view, you should be looking after your goals and ambitions. That should be the number 1 priority of your life. Besides that, on your free time you can go and have social interactions with friends, family and also woman you like.

Specialy when you go out with woman the idea is to go out and have fun, that's your job. Eventually in time, because she is designed that way, the woman is going to develope feelings and want to be more serious with you and start a relationship. Is not the mans job to pursue the relationship, is the womans. She is going to push to have a relationship with you, is going to be her idea and everything is going to flow naturally. If the man is the one pushing for the relationship, then that is femenine behaviour and woman is naturally going to reject it. Woman love masculine man that are after their goals. Man that are after relationship are normally not very masculine and a turn down for woman.

Bottom line, pursue your goals and ambitions and date woman in your free time. Let this woman pursue a relationship with you, not the other way around.

Bonus track. Woman are the gatekeepers of sex, man are the gatekeepers of relationships.
Man generally work to get woman into bed, woman work to be in an exclusive relationship with the man they like. Only do your part of the job, and let woman do theirs.

 

you are in the rigth path then.
Look at it this way.. you are a product in the dating market. If you are not having dates then is probably because the product you are selling is not attractive for woman so they are not interested in dating/buying you yet.
But in time after years working on yourselve, your worth as a man and as a product in this market is going to get bigger and you are definitevely going to be more attractive for woman and will get more offers to go out.

 

Focus on yourself.

I don't know how old you are, but you should be trying to get a job that has a career path with enough money/perks for you to be able to support yourself and a family.

If you're not in that career path, go to college/school and get a degree/certificate that can get you on that path, or start looking for other ways to get certified in an industry where you can progress.



Take care of your health. You should be getting vigorous exercise for 30-45 minutes a day 5-6 days a week at the least. Running is the easiest option. If you're not exercising that often, try doing the plans on these two links.

https://www.stewsmithfitness.com/bl...-intermediate-timed-runs-advanced-rucking-too

http://www.stewsmith.com/linkpages/runningplan.htm

If you get up to 30 miles a week, start doing some calisthenics exercises for your muscle health.

https://www.military.com/military-fitness/workouts/avoid-gym-by-using-calisthenics

After that try to determine personal fitness goals for yourself

Eat well. Don't eat any processed foods. Unless you are training hard for intense fitness goals, your meals should be avoid 1/2 fruits and vegetables, 1/4 whole grains, and 1/4 protein (chicken, fish, and lean red meat).

Drink plenty of water each day [simple calculation for water intake is (body weight in lbs)*(1/2) = (minimum amount of water you should drink in a day in ounces) if you're exercising moderately, and (body weight in lbs)*(3/4) = (minimum amount of water you should drink in a day in ounces) if you're exercising intensely].



Spend plenty of time with family, friends, and people outside of a work/school setting. You're a social animal, and you need time with other humans to feel like your best self. If you have friends, try to have an outing or hangout with several of them at least once a week, as well as an activity with one or two friends 2-3 times a week. If you don't have friends, find people to be around in a social setting. Join rec sports clubs, hobby clubs, ask people at work/school to hang out, etc. You need to have a social circle to feel whole and healthy. Spend time with your family as well.



Enjoy life. If you're doing all these things and aren't impoverished or living check to check, get out there and enjoy stuff. Go cool places. Meet cool people. Eat good food. Be frugal and plan for the rest of your life, but find out how the world works and what it has to offer. Prove that life is worth living.



This is a lot, but striving for all these things is what's gonna put you in the best place to get into a relationship. I know guys slide into DMs, and try to make sure their look is cool, or save up for a fast car, and all sorts of stuff. That's not how you get into a normal relationship. It's true, sometimes guys who use those strategies have luck and get into relationships, but those tend be give and take, and the overall gain of both parties is a net 0 because whatever each of them gives is equal to what the other receives.


If you want someone to come into your life and give you that warmth, that affection, that feeling of safety that no one else can, then you need to have something to offer in return. Telling a girl "you are my world, I'll do anything for you" is very sweet, but it may not seem worth much to her if you can't support yourself, can't take care of yourself, and aren't connected well to other people. Telling a girl the same thing when you have a ton of friends, are making way in your career path, are healthy physically, and have plenty of worldly possessions (or the means to do so) means a lot more to her. The things I said to do above are the means by which you begin to acquire these things. The path is different for everyone, but often women who are sound of mind can see men on the path virtuous success and will join them on the journey.

Putting yourself out into the dating market, meeting women, being social, and playing the game are all needed for getting into a relationship. However, you're never going to get anywhere if there's nothing else going on in your life. When you're in a relationship with someone, you share part of your life with them. No matter if you're just looking for an occasional fling or fiancee, you're going to share a significant portion of your life with them. Giving them unending love, attention, and care is fantastic, but you need to have other awesome things going on in your life to share with women. Don't make a girl you're meeting at a bar your life, have a life to bring her into.

So in short, in regards to where to direct your energy, focus your energy on making you, your life, and the lives of those around you better.

 

That's like following girls on social media, hitting them up, and usually just having sex, but sometimes actually dating. I don't like it. It's so performative and usually very unhealthy