Where to date during covid-19

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by ShadyPerson, Aug 27, 2020.

  1. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    Dating apps don't seem to do it for me. All the people there seem to be just so uninterested. Wether it's my fault or just the nature of the apps is unknown to me. Besides I've mostly stopped getting matches anyways. I met a couple of girls who seemed kinda interested, but two of them ghosted me while making date plans and one turned out to be looking for something way more serious than what I'm ready for as of now. Atm I'm considering wether I should keep the apps in case I happen to have some luck for once or if I should just remove them. (EDIT: I deleted them aside from fetlife which I'll delete if it's as bad as the vanilla dating apps. I read something about only 20% of the people on dating apps actually finding something there and those being people who aren't struggling in their offline love lives either. I feel good about my desicion.)

    I feel just so burned out with this shit. I know there are propably guys on this forum who have it worse, but I haven't had really anything going on in my romantic/sexual life for five fucking years now. No one has been interested in me, much less actually dated me. It's just so tiring and makes me question if there's something fundamentally wrong with me.

    I'd like to hear some suggestions on where to meet women. Oh, and also if it wasn't challenging enough already, here are some further complications: I have a relatively small social circle that doesn't live close to me and I'm attending my conscription so I can't really meet people through work, studying or hobbies.

    Feeling like over the years I've driven myself to a social dead end.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2020
    Knighthawk likes this.
  2. How bad is covid in your area? In my area, everything is somewhat the same prior to covid. The only difference is that some people wear masks, some people get mad if you don't take social distancing seriously (like bruh, fuck social distancing) and there's hand sanitiser machines everywhere.
     
    SoaringEagle likes this.
  3. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    It's not all that bad I guess. I guess I'm just worried that the second wave might close bars again before I'll have a chance to go try my luck.
     
  4. Oldfart_v2

    Oldfart_v2 Fapstronaut

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    I met a girl at Subway. I'm 40 and she's 20. It's casual with no expectations or demands. Sometimes it's nice just to have someone sit next to you. I'm still focused on getting me well but I'm motivated to do good so I can try and keep her around. I have this puppy dog love for her. Just take a day at a time.
     
  5. Dating during a pandemic? That’s a little bit challenging. With most people wearing face masks and social distancing. It’s not a good time to date. But when things go back to normal and the world is out there socializing. Don’t be fearful, take your chances.
     
  6. CosmoRedshift

    CosmoRedshift Fapstronaut

    Firstly, there ain't nothing wrong with you, online dating/apps can be really brutal. You're bound to face 10x rejection to get to a date, and then the date may be dead on arrival. Get off fetlife ASAP if you're struggling with PMO -- fetlife isn't really a dating site, it's a kink/fet community -- nothing wrong with that, but trying to get sober, clean, or rebooting while also browsing fetlife sounds... difficult.

    I'm currently dating someone so I can't say with strong authority, but in my group of friends I have been told that the dating apps have never been better during covid. There are a lot of women who wouldn't have previously been on the apps, but now they are because they can't just go hit the bar or their normal pickup scene. Maybe spend some time focusing on how to best optimize your profiles -- are your photos good? Are you saying enough but not too much? etc etc

    Outside of that, I say focus on building up your friends group/community outside of work. I found that meeting some other men who are also using the apps and meeting girls out in the real world space went a long way in helping me get good advice and meet women. Spend some time optimizing yourself and focus less on the dating -- I always found that the second I was like "I'm hitting the gym and it's for me to hell with all this chasing girls stuff" is when suddenly I was meeting girls everywhere.

    There are no dead ends man, just keep pivoting!
     
  7. This is happening

    This is happening New Fapstronaut

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    As above, if you're not having luck on Tinder or whatever, try revamping your profile. Also, the way those apps tend to work is that when you have a new profile it gets seen more, and as 95% of women pass (true for probably 95% of men), your profile becomes less and less visible. So if you're not getting matches, delete your account, wait a few months, and try again.

    Also, I'm not particularly good looking or anything, but I've had a ton of success with the women I do match with just by having a normal conversation with them and asking questions about them. For the love of God, don't open with "hey beautiful" and don't ask to meet up right away.

    That being said, some people are just on dating apps to stroke their egos and waste other people's time, so remember to take it all in stride. If someone ghosts you after acting interested (without a good reason) they're probably a shitty person anyways.
     
  8. Der Drachenkönig

    Der Drachenkönig Fapstronaut

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    Dating apps are neither good or bad, and it's up to each person to use them or not. So long as you don't lie and are clear about your intentions it's fine.
    However Tinder in my experience can be a double edged sword. If you're a free user then unless you are good or get lucky things are pretty much rigged against you. Pandemic has hit my finances and income hard and this is not something i will be spending my savings on.
    I got some matches, did the best i could with my profile and took things easy. But the few people i talked to had me bored and uninterested after the first few minutes of talking. The algorythm is simply weird and most of the time it's kind of random but still based on your details and preferences.
    Also in my experience, people put on their best faces on the app but real life is another story entirely. And it goes without saying, but as in everywhere there are dangerous people here too, i came across a few which were..... to put it mildly..... insane, and not the good kind of insane.
    It works for some people, but it just didn't do it for me. Dating is a secondary thing in my life at this point, i'll focus on getting my stuff together.
     
    Oliver Gunter likes this.

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