Where to find motivation?

Hello.

I have been doing this "challenge" or journey for over a year now. I had good streaks, good moments, but they faded away as stress and problems came into my life, ruining my motivation to try anything new. Now that I have the possibility to "reset" and start a new year fresh, I have no motivation to go through things.

I have been relapsing a lot these past weeks. Not only that, I haven't done anything productive, didn't learn anything nor help a lot around the house. I feel like a parasite, draining my family's time and money and my own energy in order to do what? binge on the Internet, and maybe relapse to X or Y game too. Today I relapsed to League of Legends after more than a year free of it. It was not a binge though, but it made me very deppresed. All my effort thrown away. I can't even get myself to studying things that I would like to learn, like Japanese.

Hopefully I'm doing fine at college, above average marks and good possibilities for my future. However, it all seems like it is not worth it, hard, or painful. I'm deppresed. I'm not a chronic deppressed person though, or that I think, but I have situational deppresion which leads me to problems nonetheless.

Any tips to get the motivation and discipline I need to "restart" and focus on the things I really want in life?

Thanks for your time.

 

Of course I would, my counter is still wrong, I am on day 0 too.