Who do you tell?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by TOPACES, Jul 17, 2014.

  1. TOPACES

    TOPACES Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    I'm asking myself how to deal with my PMO-abstinence in front of others:

    So far, I've told only very close friends that I started NoFap and write mostly to you guys here on the forum.

    When I stopped smoking first, it was a big boost of motivation and determination for me to tell everyone: "Hey, look: I'm never gonna smoke again!". So when I was tempted, it wasn't just a promise I made to myself (although that's what counts most), but also a promise to them.

    Of course, sexuality is a very private and intimate topic you don't discuss with everyone. Also, it's another situation because far less people seem to be aware of the dangers of HSIP than of smoking. So I guess you risk being called weird instead of receiving support for your decision. Especially since I (for my part) haven't been officially "diagnosed" with an addiction.
    But I'm tempted to discuss this topic with other people that I know, so I could also evaluate my own situation better, and see how others, who haven't already known the NoFap-community, would react to that information.

    So, what do you guys think? Who did you tell about your addiction, and how did this go?
     
  2. vik17

    vik17 Fapstronaut

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    I only confessed to a really good friend who also realised how porn and fap was damaging. Since I have stopped successfully for a while now, my buddy noticed lots of changes in the way I treat women and he has given up pmo too. I used to check out any hot woman I saw but, now, I find this way too weird. If you really want to tell someone, it should be somebody who is open minded, won't make fun of you and will be supportive and, foremost, will keep this to himself/herself.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2014
  3. lilnavadaa

    lilnavadaa Fapstronaut

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    I told my dad, my mom, two aunts, a pastor(Christian), grandmother, best friend, brother, cousin, and I think that's it. No one except my younger brother believed me. They maybe tried to understand it as I was serious when discussing it because I needed help and I was trying to reach out. but no one can understand this, as it is very complex. And because of the sexually hijacked culture everyone's become desensitized to sex. So most people won't believe/understand.
    My brother trusts me and I've saved him a lot of trouble.
     
  4. TTS

    TTS New Fapstronaut

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    I don't feel I have any particular people to share this with, I find it a worry that people will think I'm a bad person/ weird/ or indeed normal!! ("everyone watches porn what's the problem??"

    I'm trying to weigh up whether it would be a good thing or not at present/or ever, to tell my girlfriend; she's a lovely person, but has already mentioned she finds porn disgusting, so I don't know if a confession could be more trouble than it is worth.

    Though I've just started here today, and being here makes me feel better already, having similar people about!

    Good luck everyone!
    T'
     
  5. suyash_4376

    suyash_4376 Fapstronaut

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    I disagree TTS. You can tell anyone. There are two categories of people. First those you know. Second people who you are not close with. Just friends but not buddies. You can tell people of the second category all about porn addiction and your recovery. The thing is, they donot care that much. For them its just information, they decide its good or bad but donot consider its effects on you or on them. You can use them to get support because they picture ideal people in mind and give advice accordingly.

    The first category people are hard to tell, because they actually care. Think about it yourself.

    I recently told it to a female friend of mine over facebook. She was not that close, which is the reason she gave some realistic advice...
     
  6. TTS

    TTS New Fapstronaut

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    good point well made. thanks.
     
  7. NoFap2000

    NoFap2000 Fapstronaut

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    Surely this forum is really helpful. I would love to share this forum with my real life friends since I know they are in PMO. But I can't find a way to tell them. Telling them of this forum means I accept that I am in PMO and that would be greatly embarrassing.
     
  8. suyash_4376

    suyash_4376 Fapstronaut

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    Dude, if everyone has the same problem then why hesitate in talking about it.
     
  9. Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

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    I have told nobody. The only one that knows is my girlfriend who doesn't know the whole truth. Just part of it. I told her I stopped PMO but never mentioned porn and always denied before that I even watched it. You can look at my journal if you care about that story.

    I will tell nobody. I think part of the issue is that everyone watches porn. I watched a video once that said they were looking for study patients and they couldn't find young men who didn't watch porn to be the "control" group. Everyone they asked was watching porn. That's a big deal. So telling people I don't watch porn is like saying "I'm going to quit drinking water" because it is almost a "part" of everyone's lives. So in essence it almost seems unnatural to quit watching porn. That's just my thinking, take it for what you will.
     
  10. Saserman

    Saserman Fapstronaut

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    I've told only one person who is also one of my best friends. He thinks it's a good thing. He also claims to have stopped all PMO (I think he did), but he has never heard of nofap. Either way, while he was encouraging, it was still an awkward topic and I didn't bring it up again.

    That's why I love this forum so much. It's anonymous and a great community of people trying to stop together.

    If I were married, and I really trusted and was in sync with my wife, I'd probably tell her too. But I dunno

    Surprised that your pastor didn't believe you. I thought devout christians promoted chastity and were against pornography and sex outside marriage

    (I do not mean to provoke anyone here)
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2014

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