Who do you want to be?

deep fuckin realization number 1. Imma keep this short & sweet cuz im gettin sleepy.

You are fighting a disease. A life threatening disease.

Does it have a name?

I can maybe consolidate it into, maybe, suicide.


Slow, spiritual, physical, emotional, suicide.


Is your porn/masturbation addiction the only thing you feel is a blemish on who you think you are & who you see yourself as?

When do you finally realize this is just another coping method, another instant gratification that Is poisoning you, your view of the world, your view of women, your view of yourself?

You see yourself as someone who will eventually get your shit together. When do you become the person who IS getting your shit together?

Not tomorrow, today. Not next week, now. Your addiction is premised by “one more day.” You say this tonight, before you spill your seed of creative power onto a fucking computer screen.

alone. In the dark. Watching other people have real sex.


Thats not you getting your dick getting sucked off in the video. Those are pixels. Displaying a video of real people, having real sex.



Thats not you.



You are the loser getting pleasure, alone in your room, in the dark, from WATCHING hundred of people having sex.


Time to wake up, Neo.


What if you spent your usual hour or two a day jacking off to other dudes getting sucked off, doing something or practicing something that you want to be good at?

I wish I could play guitar well.

What if I spent those hours practicing guitar?

I’d probably be decent by now.


What if I spent those usual hours at the gym?

Id probably be shredded right now and getting hit on by real girls.

What if you fucking did one goddamn useful thing today?

What if?


You’re never going to know until you make a fucking change in your life, somewhere, somehow.

Do you respect yourself when you look in the mirror?

What makes you think anyone else is going to respect you if you can’t muster up enough energy and care to do something good for yourself?

Shit man, how weak are we?

Are you here to work on yourself? Are you here to make a fucking change for once? You’re here because you’re tired of doing what you do.

You are watching your life pass away.

Seconds, minutes, hours,

Days, weeks, months,

Years.


Your life.

Is slipping

Into the darkness

of the pit of time,

that consumes all.


Do you want to die, wondering what you could have been, had you just done what you felt in your soul you needed to do, what you wished you fucking did, yesterday?

Last year.

5 years ago.


You don’t get the chance to play high school sports again.

You don’t get the chance to get good grades and get a scholarship.

Time does not take into factor your conditions and your excuses.


It simply is.

It ticks…


Where will you be tomorrow if you say to yourself, “just one more time, just one more day.”


You must fight the war against this disease, you must fight to destroy the path that led you here.

Or you will wake up 20 years from now, asking yourself why you never got what you wanted.

Why you never became the fucking person you dreamt you’d be. The person you believe you were meant to be.


If only we knew how to turn back time. But then would anyone actually ever learn their lesson?



We can’t turn back time.



We can just make the most of it.



Or regret what we did with it.



I am not going to keep waiting for a miracle. I am not going to keep waiting for someone else to come pamper me and make me feel special.

I am going to start today. I am going to start right now. I am going to become the person I want to be,


By doing the things,



I know I must do.



By doing the things,



That will make me the person

I know I can be.



life is special. you are special. I am special.



We are but a reflection of what we have done.


so.


Watch me create myself.

Watch me fucking fly.


Do what you know you need to do.

So that one day,

You will look in the mirror



And not regret one fucking thing.



The time is now, or never.

There Is no inbetween.

And no one coming to save you from yourself.



Who are you today? Who will you be tomorrow?



Who the fuck do you want to be?

 

also, I will not apologize for this horrendous formatting. lick a pickle.