Who wants to start a cult?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by DWizZy, Jul 28, 2014.

  1. DWizZy

    DWizZy Fapstronaut

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    Kinda wanna start a cult. I figure any dude who wants to stay completely celibate for life, or at least a few years while you're in the cult, can join up. We'll build shacks out in the desert, run some sort of online business, follow a vegan diet, with a lot of emphasis on taking homegrown herbs with medicinal properties. Maybe some sort of yoga or martial arts or something, too, and we'll try to figure out how to use all of our stored up sexual energy to summon UFOs.
     
  2. DWizZy

    DWizZy Fapstronaut

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    And we can build a giant effigy of a woman, and stand around her in a circle singing love songs to her. I suggest "I guess that's why they call it the blues."
     
  3. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    yoga yes but martial arts no.

    the energy there would be incredible!

    and nothing with online-business - online is not good for fapstronauts!

    maybe we can sell sand to countries...
     
  4. DWizZy

    DWizZy Fapstronaut

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    Well figuring out to fund the cult is the hardest part. I figure we're all accountability buddies with no privacy on the compound, so it'll help us resist the urges. There's a lot of tech savvy among fapstronauts that could be put to good use. But yeah, we can explore other business avenues. Our super-energy might allow us to grow gifted herbs we could sell. Or at least tell the people who buy them that it works like that.
     
  5. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    if one member of this cult relapses - 8000 strokes with a horsewhip!

    wet dreams - 2457 strokes!

    is this acceptable?
     
  6. DWizZy

    DWizZy Fapstronaut

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    Haha I was wondering how long it would be til the idea turned gay. Lol. But yes, that's a great idea. Or maybe just some sort of shaming ritual, or send them to the woods until they're purified again.
     
  7. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    this cult-idea was serious?

    depends on the gear for me to join in.

    which desert?

    maybe the members can knit socks whole day...
     
  8. Pitusso

    Pitusso Fapstronaut

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  9. DWizZy

    DWizZy Fapstronaut

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    I mean, serious, you know, maybe. If we got a good enough team together I would be down. One idea I've had is to create a heavily moderate sex chat room, to keep out all the violent people. Fapstronauts could be the moderators, and if the idea was successful, we could make a buck and get out quick. The hope being that an anti-creep chat room would attract more females, and thus more males. But you know, some good idea like that could make this silly idea into a good idea.

    And I do kinda think we could use our sublimated sexual energy to summon UFOs, but it would take a lot of practice.
     
  10. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Forget funding it. There is an area of desert called Bir Tawil between Egypt and Sudan no one claims. All we gotta do is go there and start pumping enough water out of the ground we make it super fertile, grow our own food. The price of repeated relapse is exile. Also we have to have a really nice gym though. Then we can create a world champion weightlifting team.
     
  11. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    moderators fapstronauts??? sex chat rooms??? who can stand this trigger?

    sounds like sadomasochism!

    the idea with the UFO is great. imagine 20 fapstronauts sitting all day together an trying to reach an UFO somewhere in the galaxy. only with mindpower!
     
  12. DWizZy

    DWizZy Fapstronaut

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    I'm way ahead of you thinking about the gym stuff. That's what I was thinking about with the medicinal herbs, we could be growing stuff that works as natural performance enhancers. We'd need to get pretty brollick to hang out in the middle east for very long. They're serious there.
     
  13. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    melancholy after three years everyone is looking like the rock...
     
  14. DWizZy

    DWizZy Fapstronaut

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    I figured the singing to the effigy ritual would show the aliens how enlightened we are. But we could get a library of magic, religion, philosophy and science texts to help us figure out how to beam our energy to the aliens just right.
     
  15. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    dwizzy they are watching us for years - we are so backward - that we are not interesting for them.

    is like you looking to an anthill. :cool:
     
  16. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I'm on board with the alien idea. More importantly though we would need to figure out how to take over the world.
     
  17. DWizZy

    DWizZy Fapstronaut

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    Right but if you saw the ants abandon their queen, build a model of her and start singing around her in a circle, while engaging in persistent meditative practices, then you would start watching that anthill more closely. You'd be like "wtf is up with these ants?" And then if they started arranging sticks and spelled out "humans please take us inside your houses and build us an ant farm," you'd be like "well okay..."
     
  18. DWizZy

    DWizZy Fapstronaut

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    The aliens would probably want us to rule the world once we establish ourselves as deep, sincere and altruistic. Or as good trading partners, depending on the attitude of the aliens. So they'd hook us up with technology and such to achieve those ends.
     
  19. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    OK. OK. That would work. We would have to get some kind of anti nuke device from them. I can imagine us getting nuked if we get too powerful.
     
  20. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    now its getting interesting here.

    the gym-idea is good.

    every day 8 hours sport. afterwards 10 hours singing to the statue - training mindpower. always the same song. 4 hours sleeping and eating.

    in 30 years one alien will come down and kill all the members - because we are disturbing them!
     

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