who would most likely have more success, an average looking guy or an attractive one?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by MarkN96, Dec 1, 2019 at 3:26 AM.

  1. MarkN96

    MarkN96 Fapstronaut

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    title says it all. i am 23, virgin, and been mainly been homeschooled throughout my whole life with no interaction with any girls, and no friends really.

    well, that's not actually 100 percent entirely the truth, the past 2 or so years i did but have some encounters with girls, with one i worked with at a grocery store but i was not at all attractive to this person due to her being a weird, and obsessive person and also hideously looking (sorry to say)

    another one that used to be one my sister's friend that came over one day to my house and actually had the guts to tell me she found me attractive (which surprised me, but maybe not to other people that actually have experience) because that's usually rare to see, it did happen to me before but it was a random occurrence that also caught me by surprise where i was just walking down on the sidewalk, and a girl sitting in the backseat of the car rolled down the window and tried to get my attention saying "hey you! yeah you!"
    then i looked up and as cringeworthy this may be said "you are cute!" then quickly rolled back down the window and the car drove off.

    but anyway back to the girl, wasn't my type as she was tomboyish and another reason why i wasn't even going to go there to begin with is that she was 15 at the time and i was 21.... so yeah, would want to steer clear from that at all costs.

    but back to my original point of the thread, can attractive people vs below average looking people have a better success rate with women without having any social skill, and being shy and socially awkward such as me? i mean im still pretty out of shape (so there's not much to look at that) but i wanna soon work on that. i just got accepted into a community college as i don't really know where that's going to take me or increase my chances, cause im pretty good at predicting everything (even though all of it is the most obvious) that i just may have a 50/50 percent chance, cause i don't think there's that much time for actual socializing except for a few to 10 mins to talk on break, but could be wrong.

    but i would be interested to hear anyone elses opinions on this, thanks:)
     
  2. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

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    I would say that an average looking guy who is confident and sociable is going to have more success all around over an attractive guy who is shy and lacking in confidence and communication skills. Guys can't get by on looks alone. of you happen to be tall and handsome with the confidence and charm, then you'd definitely have the edge. My suggestion: FIND YOUR CONFIDENCE!
     
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  3. MarkN96

    MarkN96 Fapstronaut

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    well im 5'9 so not sure how tall that would be to a woman, but i could hardly care about my height. if i was 5'4 then sure i would be embarrassed.
     
  4. HVL85

    HVL85 Fapstronaut

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    @Mistersofty said it all. Any physical attractiveness is completely undone by the lack of confidence. Social skills are crucial for success in life, in any area. Doesn't really apply to women though.

    @MarkN96 Also, try to be less rude if you can. I see they forgot to teach you subtlety during homeschool.
     
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  5. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Dude, of course the attractive dude is going to have better results, though is not impossible for the average guy.
     
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  6. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

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    No need to be embarrassed by your height no matter what it is.
     
    MarkN96 likes this.
  7. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

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    Not without confidence he won't.
     
  8. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    But he needs considerably less confidence that the regular dude.
     
  9. MarkN96

    MarkN96 Fapstronaut

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    rude? how?
     
  10. MarkN96

    MarkN96 Fapstronaut

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    i feel like it's just subjective and that anyone has their opinion. i definitely didn't need it with that co-worker, all i had to do was just be in her presence, and i was all hers.

    i may have to induce vomiting after this post though.
     
  11. MuddyShadows

    MuddyShadows Fapstronaut

    Both factors matter, but it's more important to know how to talk with them. Even a good looking guy would have problems if he can't talk properly with a girl.
     
  12. HVL85

    HVL85 Fapstronaut

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    I'm just saying, try to be more careful with your wording, you don't want to say things like that in real life, it could get you into trouble.

    Anyway.

    People tell me I've got a great appearance, but due to my recent past my social confidence was severely damaged, on top of the fact that my parents never really taught me much about communication to begin with. So in my experience, looks don't get you anywhere if you don't have the confidence and social skills to match it.
     
  13. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Who gives a fuck who has more success. That question shoudln't even cross your mind.

    You're you. There are certain things about yourself that you can't change, like your bone structure, your height, your hair. But there are lots of things you can change, and luckily for men the things that you can change are the things that matter most. Focus on the shit that is in your control and don't think about the rest.
     
  14. MarkN96

    MarkN96 Fapstronaut

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    oh.

    im gonna say it really depends on the girl, how come we guys wouldn't give a shit about any of that? if my girl was atleast a 9 or 10, wouldn't even cross my mind.
     
  15. MarkN96

    MarkN96 Fapstronaut

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    i am just curious on the matter, cause i have had people compare me to john travolta and wanted to see where i stand. to see if it is simple as it is in american pie.
     
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  16. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

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    I'm pretty much in the same boat. Parents weren't great communicators and never really showed affection. I think that's a huge factor in the way people turn out in life.
     
  17. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    It doesn't matter where you stand. What are you going to do with that information anyway? It is not going to change the way you act, or at least it shouldn't
     
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  18. HVL85

    HVL85 Fapstronaut

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    Affection.. absolutely a thing in my case as well. There was never anything. As a kid, whenever something truly happened, like whenever you were crying a lot about something, then, maybe you would get some attention. But in my case, there was never stuff I see in other families, and I mean simple things like a cuddle, asking how your day was, how you are doing.. I was suspicious whenever someone elses parent asked me how I was doing. As if they needed something from me. Because I was never asked that question before.

    This is how I became to keep everything inside whenever trouble arises, unable to express emotions, feeling like a weakling when I do. It's kinda sad, and now I'm well into adult, people expect you to behave normally, like an actual grown up. No wonder I often feel like a child and my emotions get to extremes, but you bottle it up because like I said, you're expected to behave normally - also in order to keep your job and pay the bills.
     
  19. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

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    You are overthinking this whole thing, all young people do.
    Only thing I can suggest is - take action and try to interact with girls, and do not mask your desire for intimacy by friendship.
    You will be rejected allot, but you learn what it takes and you will succeed.
    In basic terms you need to learn how to interact with girls, learn what they want and give that to them, they in return will give you what you want. Thats how we humans work.
     
  20. robchaw

    robchaw Fapstronaut

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    The only advice I can give is that you learn things through experience. If you have never interacted with girls then you need to get yourself out there and start experiencing basic interaction skills, whether that be at work with co-workers or somewhere else. Another good tip is to not come off like you want an intimate relationship right off the get go. It really is great getting to know someone and then moving forward from there.
     

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