Who's up for a JULY challenge?

Day two here. Sometimes I wish my counter would move faster so I could feel like I was accomplishing but this is a one day at a time kind of battle. Been thinking a lot about my life and triggers I have identified that cause me to relapse. Spending time on facebook used to cause relapse, since I got rid of that months ago I have definitely felt better about myself and has been healthy to not waste hours on it. Spending time on instagram is a definite trigger, too many people and pictures that cause a slippery slope in my mind. Wasting time on the computer is also a slippery slope, after my posts here I'm closing it for the day until my wife gets home. Caffeine is a trigger for me when I am home by myself, trying to be conscious of my intake while home alone.

Over the weekend my wife and I talked because we haven't been connecting, and earlier in the week she caught me in a full turn around look at this girl on the street as we were driving. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my marriage. This weekend when talking she said "I wish I was so beautiful that you would want to look at me." That was such a crushing moment because it made me realize how insignificant I have made her feel and how negative of an effect P has had on my marriage. I'm not going to let my wife feel that way any longer, and I'm not going to let myself gawk at other women when the most beautiful woman I know is the one I am married to.

Found this motivational video this morning on the emergency button. Keep on fighting, we're in this together.

 

day 7 for me still feeling strong.

 

Awesome! Congratulations!

 

yhhh let do this. Don't know what I would do without all you guys here to help me. with the help from all you guys here I got this far

 

Sometimes this addiction feels like a spoiled child within me. My wife and kids just went out for a bit and my first thoughts are "now is your chance... quickly view P, just once, just once, please, please, please, just one more time, just one more time for P, then it will be the last."
But it is never "just one more time." One more time becomes two, two becomes four, and I'm right back where I started.
So I respond back to that voice "NO MORE!"

 

Sounds like exactly what I need! Sick of the cycle of relapse!

 

feeling more relaxed but not complacent

As much as I whine and focus too much on my body, my head is feeling clean. No P images or fantasy at all coming to mind these days and it used to be a 24/7 loop.

 

This made me realize how I must have made my wife feel. I spent the rest of the evening, after reading your post several hours ago, writing a love letter to my wife, expounding on how beautiful she is. I'm out of stamps, but it goes in the mail in the morning, and she'll get it at work in a few days. I hope it shows her how attracted I am to her. Thank you so much for your post! It was really eye opening for me, and I think it will make me a much better husband.

 

Day 8. feeling good today. I can feel 31st July in the air

 

I'm in for the challenge lets do this!

 

I've taken up the guitar, since I started this. I've been diddling around for about a week, trying to learn a certain song that is special to my wife, and me. Coming along nicely - chord changes are the challenge, really. I might actually try it at open mic tonight. It's 4pm now... we'll see how much progress I make in the next three or four hours.

 

You'll be back. And when you are next in a relationship, you will have already beaten this, and will be able to build it well from the start. You cannot control what you've done; you can only control what you're going to do.

 

I hope I am not too late.... count me in.

 

I've stayed quiet the last few days because I relpased on Sunday hard. I was very hungover, splitting headache, and depressed. Nothing I tried worked and once I got off work, I went straight to the vice. I wasn't happy about it, but I don't hate myself for it either. I just had to learn from it. I can't keep drinking the way I do. I got a DUI in May and have my hearing soon. There are so many signs pointing me to a sober life in both alcohol and P. I may have fapped in July but I hope you all can continue to support me in this fight. I am inspired by so many people in this thread. Today at the gym, a song came on my shuffle and these lines really stood out and hit home hard. If you like fast punk rock you will love this song:

"I don't quit and you don't quit, that's just the way it has to be
We're going to watch all the bonds we've built
Growing stronger
And we'll leave all those regrets behind"