Why 90 days in a row?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by vercent99, Apr 24, 2021.

  1. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    It seems that many users here agree that 90 days in a row of no PMO cures issues like PIED. I have some questions..

    Why 90 days? Why not 45 or 60 or 120?

    Also, why does it have to be a consecutive streak? It seems hard for me to fathom how all your progress is essentially supposedly erased if you are on a 10 day streak and then relapse. If someone does 30 days no PMO, then relapses, then does 20 days, then relapses, and then does 40 days and relapses, he still did 90 days of no PMO, so why is he supposedly not cured just because of a few days in between?

    Please explain me if I am misunderstanding something, I am genuinly trying to understand, sorry if I sound ignorant.
     
  2. Not sure about the 90 days but I know your progress does not reset after a relapse. People have this mindset where if you screw up it’s all over and you must start again, the benefits are there but people usually go on pmo binges once they relapse and eventually will revert back into that dark place.
     
  3. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    Ok thank you for the answer. Because I fixed both my delayed and premature ejaculation during the time where I was only doing small streaks. But now my current issue is that I have PIED and wondering that if I would only be able to have it cured after going 90 days in a row (when my record is 16 days), felt very demotivating to me.

    So can anyone confirm that PIED can be solved even if there are relapses in between streaks? Please let me know, thanks in advance!
     
  4. Well pied might not be as simple as it seems, a lot of it has to do with stress, self confidence, level of attraction to the girl, but you should abstain for sure, does it have to be 90 in a row? I say no. I made it 120 days and had my morning wood return and even after relapses i still kept it, but once you return to your pmo addiction you will lose it again.
     
    vercent99 likes this.
  5. 90 days is a very outdated number from almost 10 years ago. Gary Wilson and others took it from many other addictions, where going cold turkey for 90 days usually is considered the first major milestone for a cure. It was also aimed at older people who did NOT grow up with high speed internet and porn tube sites.

    Gary Wilson has ALSO stated years later, that younger addicts will probably need much longer than 90 days, because they were exposed to porn when they still were in adolescence - and the adolescent brain "saves" information on a deeper level, making a reverse harder. He has estimated the healing duration needed somewhere between 6 to 12 months.
    And not to discourage anyone: But he even stated that we now start seeing cases who are so messed up since an early age that they will probably never be fully healed, no matter how long they abstain (around the 11 minute mark).
     
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  6. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    I did masturbation once a while at age 10 or 11 or 12 (I forgot), saw porn from a friend at that time too but never searched it. Then I cannot vividly remember when I started watching porn, maybe at 14. All I remember is I realized I was addicted starting from 2019, but I have memories going back probably to 2017 or 2018. I think I did PMO like 5 years.

    In 2018 I had an issue, from edging I caused delayed ejaculation, I could'nt ejaculate when I wanted to, even if I tried a lot. This scared me and made me try to finish as fast as possible to ejaculate when doing PMO, so then I had premature ejaculation in 2019. I fixed that in the end of 2020. Now in 2021 I have PIED symptoms, I remember last year (beginning of 2020 probably), I had a teacher from an outside institution come over to me for lessons, she had big boobs and I would get a boner (not full erect, but semi) when I looked at her boobs, thankfully there was a table haha. Now I barely ever get an erection just from looking at attractive girls.

    And my boner goes soft even during watching porn if I don't stimulate myself, but if I stimulate myself, I have 90% strength erections. So I want to fix getting erections again from seeing hot girls, and I want to be able to maintain erections without fear of it going away without stimulation.

    This is my current issue, so can I fix that? Is there hope for me? Or did I start too early? The 6 months in a row streak is the only option? How can I be cured?

    Other than that, I have varicoceles and probably spermatoceles, I will do a new scan this year, I keep extending the date because I am scared of the doctor. Does this condition affect my ability to maintain an erection too? Or is it purely from PMO? I am doing less PMO compared to 2 years ago where I did it 2-3 times a day, now usually once every 2 days or if I am on streaks then usually once a week.
     
  7. jayyad

    jayyad Fapstronaut

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    This is fucking terrifying, never heal? I feel like I’m one of those cases, started at 11, starting trying to quit at 16, at 19 I really started taking it serious, 5 months abstaining, I see progress but what kind of permanent damage have I done?!?!? holy fuck man what the hell
     
  8. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I would say 90 days is the absolute best case scenario and for many guys it could take quite a bit longer. There are also these wonderful phases called flatlines where you basically feel crappy about yourself, have little motivation to do much of anything and it feels like someone turned off the switch on all aspects of your sexuality. Those are unpleasant but necessary steps in the process and for some guys that doesn't even start until after 90 days. Do research on the signs you are achieving recovery and base your progress on those -- not a calendar -- because your mileage could vary (by a lot). Good luck and stay strong!
     
    vercent99 likes this.
  9. HereComesTheRain

    HereComesTheRain New Fapstronaut

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    I thought that 90 days was just a good arbitrary number, personally. 3 months to me sounded long but achievable.

    I'm in this post and I don't like it.

    I've been jerking it for well over a decade and I've acknowledged it as a problem for years without doing anything about it so this all makes sense, but this is really one of those "hard truths". I wasn't expecting all my problems to be solved after my first 90 days but I'll be honest this is a bit disheartening.
     
  10. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    It took my husband between 4-6 months for pied to be gone. We did hard mode at 4 months in made it 52 days had sex then 50 days. He had de his entire life, then pied from 45-50. Now he has no issues at all, unless he slips. If he slips his erections are much softer.
     
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  11. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the information. I think this time I will be able to go a long streak because I noticed a small indentation on the right of my penis (only when it is flaccid/semi erect) which could be injury from death grip as it is on the exact spot where my thumb would be, and I read it needs 6 weeks minimum to heal any penile injury. Furthermore I pray to God this is not an early case of Peyronies disease because the description seems awfully similar to the early stages of it. I swear I am trying. Hope to fix this indentation and my PIED. Day 5 now.

    If anyone had such an indentation and cured it, please let me know. I might open a topic about it soon.
     
  12. Zenseeker

    Zenseeker Fapstronaut

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    Very good reply...if I compare it to alcohol addiction...it has to be a PERMANENT CHANGE!! This isn't about how little time and effort I can get away with to cure my problem! This is about RESETTING THE BRAIN and ultimately a complete PARADIGM SHIFT in how we view human sexuality!
     
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  13. Why does it have to be a consecutive streak?

    The whole point of breaking an addiction is to actually break the patterns in your brain. That doesn't happen when you have a few days here, a few days there.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  14. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    But when it is once every few weeks then it's not a few days here and there, it's once a while, why does such a small margin supposedly take away the whole recovery process over again?
     
  15. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    I’m not sure if it takes away all your progress. However, you’re still getting high, you’re going back to the neuropathways that you want to let die. Think of them as a dirt road..... every time you use them the path becomes stronger, every time you don’t it, becomes more over grown. You want those pathways overgrown while you forge a new pathway that’s healthy. The less you get high, the less those pathways are accessible. The more you get high, the easier it is to use those pathways. We are lazy, we want to take the easy way. Our brains do the same thing, they look for the easy way. Right now your addiction is the easy way in the moment. You need to be clean long enough to teach your brain that addiction/ getting high, is the hard way.
     
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  16. If you lower the frequency at all, that's a win. But it's still probably better overall to have a consecutive streak rather than a broken one. I always say that 30 consecutive days of no PMO is a really good start. That was enough for me to see some noticeable improvements, but other people might require more or less time.
     
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  17. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    That is an interesting way to look at it, I agree with you. Thank you.
     
  18. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    Hopefully we all reach our end goals, I have never reached 30 days, my maximum was 16 days in March 2020, I started nofap in early 2020 or end 2019. I am on day 6 now which is a streak that is on the rarer side for me considering I usually failed between day 2 and 3. So I will try to do my best.
     
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  19. dig deep

    dig deep Fapstronaut

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