Why 90 days or 100days?

No. The reason why we set arbitrary goals is so that we have something attainable to strive towards. If we said "I'm going to quit forever", well that's just unachievable and unrealistic to expect. We set goals like 90 days or 100 days so that once we surpass that, we will have fulfilled a role we set for ourselves and can evaluate our progression in controlling our own sexual problems. How you quantify what is "safe" is up to you, and it's of your own personal goal to think about that, however, if you want my opinion on it, if you can control and undo fetishes, that is a good thing to be proud of.

I haven't gone 90 days, I'm currently just going for 30 days, however, I'll tell you about my previous attempts. Yes, I did relapse after I finished my goals, purely to release built up stress and also just not being able to overcome the lust. I'm not proud of doing it, but that's what happens. I haven't gone long enough to rewire my brain to get rid of fetishes, so they did come back, and yes I did masturbate to them. Again, not proud of doing it, and I'm not the best example of a success story (yet).

I'm not sure if fetishes can actually fully "vanish", but they can be controlled with training and time. Other people may be able to clarify this for you, as I'm not the best person to answer this, nor do I understand enough about the psychology of sexual fetishism to provide analysis.

 

I think that 90 days is just a start.

The real time needed is at least a year.

 

Hey man,

The point of the 90 day goal is to rewire your brain and undo all the conditioning caused by PMO. That's the point of that time/target.

But the whole idea is to live the rest of your life without porn. You can do normal healthy natural things, but no porn.

In other words, the first task is to rewire your brain as quickly as possible (hence doing nofap 90 consecutive days, for example). But ultimately, it's all about living a life without P.

 

It takes 21 days to create a habbit.
It takes 90 days to create a lifestyle.

 

90 days are a suggestion so that you have a realistic goal, as others have stated above.

Most of all I think you should state your own goals. What exactly do you want to achieve? Monitor how much you meet your goals as the days of your "reboot" pass by. You will notice that the goals and motivations of the people on this forum vary a lot. What all have in common is that they want to quit using porn.

For example, my goal is to be able to have sex with my wife without the complications that comes with medication. I noticed that this worked much better just after 2 weeks of stopping porn. I ejaculate all the time now. Before, ejaculations due to intercourse were rare. Erections are now possible without medication again. So some goals are met, or at least I can be optimistic. I still stay away from porn in hopes to get this habit out of my system.

Define some goals for yourself, decide how you want to be and work on that.

 

For me, my not using porn journey started with getting rid of a fetish, and porn in general. I succeeded. For me, I didn’t need to quit completely (as I was 13 at the time), and I started a holiday tradition of it, each year, from Thanksgiving to Christmas, I would fap less. Year 1 (2016), was every other day, year 2 (2017) was every third day, and this year is every fourth day, and next year will be every fifth day, etc. I allowed myself no porn at all in that time (2 years without it tomorrow night!). My goal is pacing myself, to the point that I’m ready for it to be a year round thing (which will start with adding Lent on), and maybe by the time I’m an adult, I’ll be ready for this full time or near full time.

Basically, know your needs, and act how you really feel is right. Sorry about me rambling on this lol.