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Why a girlfriend is better than porn/prostitutes

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by tomandjerry, Sep 4, 2018.

  1. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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    I have never finished an erotic massage session and felt happy - even after 450 pounds and the girl being physically attractive
    The girls never smile at you
    The simply do a routine handjob and are not interested in karezza or trying new creative ideas.
    They never ask to meet again - i always have to call the agency. Why should a massage be limited to 1 hour, with a gf i could have two or 3 handjobs in a row, with cuddling in between
    Could customise our boudouir if i had a gf. Also gocus on the theraputic side of massage - not just orgasming.
    I really look forward to givig my hot wife pleasure e.g. yoni massages and talking initmately about it.
    So i decided im not going to a erotic parlour today.
     
  2. MovingOnFromThePast

    MovingOnFromThePast Fapstronaut

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    Being in love is the answer. Porn and prostitutes are a fantasy, nothing more. Its the sad truth. Decide if you want to live in reality or not.
     
    hardowner likes this.
  3. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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    Really looking forward to a relationship like this"
    • Frequency — My wife and I now have intercourse on average once a day. Some days it's twice and a couple days a month we avoid connecting during her period. I wouldn't have believed it possible, but after we shifted shift our emphasis from friction and insemination-style sex this feels very normal and sustainable. My erections and her natural lubrication are not a problem as they would have been otherwise.
    • Timing — Often we'll "hook up" in the evenings and relax together for an hour or so, reading a book, just chatting, or occasionally watching a TV show. Sometimes we connect in the mornings for 20-30 minutes while waking up, and it's an amazing way to start the day. Tender and invigorating at the same time.
    • Positions — Our main positions are now spooning and scissor. These are comfortable positions where we can remain still, PIV, with little effort and just lie connected together. Most of the time there's no movement, I occasionally move my pelvis a bit when it feels right -- e.g. to sustain an erection longer as it goes on for a while. When we change to other positions, we remain connected together and it becomes a slow/smooth rotation (see the book Tantric Sex for Men).
    • Meditation — Once or twice a week, we'll have slightly more intense intercourse where we take our time, focus on breathing and very slow penetration. I try to remain conscious of every inch as we hook up. We're still beginners when it comes to tantra, but I've had a couple of "full body" sensations that make me very curious to experiment more.
    • Contraception — Not ejaculating has become our primary form of contraception. With daily practice I'm very confident, and I encouraged my wife to quit the pill due to its many down-sides. My wife tracks her temperature, and we're more careful when she is "egging" -- using a condom, avoiding the most stimulating positions, getting close but not penetrating, or falling back to manual caresses.
    • On Practicing — At first, we both fell asleep multiple times while hooked up together for an hour or so! I've read that many people carry around sexual trauma even from what's considered "normal" sex, and just being connected together completely still for the first few weeks was incredible. We've both grown and feel like we've healed some of those trauma and are moving on to the next level -- and we'll probably keep going deeper and deeper into our connection with each other.
    • My Thoughts — I find this form of intercourse very rewarding; the deep sense of unfulfilled sexual longing has mostly gone. When a penis spends such long periods of time in a vagina (on a regular basis) it's like being able to truly relax "at home" and not worry about when the next sex will happen. It feels like /r/Karezza regulates my body and spirit at the same time. Of course I still get occasional reptilian urges to "fuck" my wife (e.g. in doggy-style hehe), but when that happens I try to relax into the position and not move -- channeling that strong energy into my or her body instead."
     
    hardowner likes this.
  4. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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    Tonight not going to fap. Instead read a book about history of bank of england and pack for gym.
     
  5. ukbritishbloke

    ukbritishbloke Fapstronaut

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    There are lots of reasons why a girlfriend or wife is better than porn or prostitutes.
    • you can hug, tickle and kiss her
    • you can joke about with her
    • you can just do silly sexy things with her like feel parts of her body
    • you can have sex with her every day
    • you can see, smell and touch her womanly things (her clothes, her perfume, her makeup)
    • you can have sex with her in any room
    • you can do any position with her and try new things with her
    • she and you can learn exactly what turns you both on, and get really good at it
    • you can go to the movies and eat pizza with her
    • you can have kids with her if you both want.
    Also, you can be in love with a a girlfriend or wife, and she can be in love with you.

    But because most men addicted to porn are I think driven by ideas about sex, I think the most motivating idea for turning them away from porn is how good real sex is with a real woman. (Apologies to any women who feel this is objectifying: I'm trying to speak persuasively to a porn user's mind). That feeling you kept looking for in porn (sexual satisfaction, and release of stress) is what you actually do feel when you've been inside your wife or girlfriend for the third day in a row.
     
  6. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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    yes, I spoke to a counsellor about the issue. I now look back and realise how magazines are porn also.
     
  7. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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    realised that the list of p-subs depends on mentality.... if you are using to get aroused or not
     
  8. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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    Interesting quote "The same applies to other symptoms such as social anxiety, energy levels, motivation, etc. They try to quit porn, so that the symptoms can go away, and so they can finally live life. People are focusing on the wrong things, they are not changing the way they think. They are not changing the way they live, they are not changing the way they view sex and women. They are just trying not to masturbate, while everything else remains the same That, is called abstinence, not recovery. "
     
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  9. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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  10. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    Guys aren't we forgetting something here? How we can do pleasurable things FOR our wife or girlfriend!
     
  11. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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    I am realising that p-subs can be boring - same old static images. They are only pixels. Often I feel sad when I orgasm like this. I believe the only reason I got into the p is that I was bored as a teenager
     
    hardowner likes this.
  12. SandsOfTime

    SandsOfTime Fapstronaut

    When I have came across this forums, it's intresting topic..but don't know my mind saying thinking once or twice is okay but don't think much, this fantasies may lead us somewhere..be careful we are writing big exam. Once we pass then automatically girl small love also make us happy
     
  13. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Welp, you're preaching to the choir, but I think you're aware of that.
     

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