why am I so lonely? Why nobody wants me or pursue me?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by zeke27, Nov 19, 2021.

  1. zeke27

    zeke27 Fapstronaut

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    Yes that’s right. Well at least in the States a Federal Court forbade Biden of applying those shorty measures of asking the vaccine
     
  2. im_done

    im_done Fapstronaut

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    That's what I mean. What you're saying isn't supported by many of the countries enforcing it. Well, I can't say or do much for you since I'm a dumb American with no true understanding of island living. A lot of the advice given here reflects that. I will say that I respect your motive for not getting The Jab. Stand by your convictions.
     
  3. zeke27

    zeke27 Fapstronaut

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    I don’t think you are dumb. There is more on this. You see, the prime minister of Australia said a couple of days ago that the vaccine obligations should end and that governments should quit that. In European countries where there is this obligation, protester and rioters have started to cause chaos in the streets. The French Parliament rejected the law to ask for the covid vaccine passport. I think that people who are taking the vaccine, are doing it without any concern and just letting go with the current, you can’t tell me that because of the situation need it, a vaccine was developed in no time and now Pfizer adds a pill that will start selling soon. Something is not right here.
     
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  4. im_done

    im_done Fapstronaut

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    Interesting...
     

  5. If your life is boring and difficult, then make your life what you want it to be.
    It takes work, effort, struggle, learning, and suffering.

    If your avatar comes from a video game, that is the problem, is my guess.
    Once you were a child and you could toy around.
    Now you are grown, it is time to work and/or get educated.

    How would you feel if you had to work or study really hard,
    and your buddy didn't do that stuff, yet he came around just expecting to
    be an equal? You'd think he had separated from reality, you'd rather associate with motivated people who are working on important goals.

    Those people are probably thinking, why is that guy so idle? How is he going to survive in the world?

    But you don't have to feel bad about it. You are here, this is the place where you turn things around.

    Start with a 90 day hard mode reboot. I would cut the video games too, and start getting in some fitness. Get a job, deliver, go to college, man do SOMETHING!
     
    zeke27 likes this.
  6. zeke27

    zeke27 Fapstronaut

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    You're right
     
  7. All of the things you could want from life, will come because of work.

    People will want to be friends if they can respect you.

    Respect is only gained by earning it.

    That is what people attach to, which is basically money.

    They are simple like that.
     
    zeke27 likes this.
  8. Don Peter Clemenza

    Don Peter Clemenza Fapstronaut

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    That's accurate. Being super polite and available or Mr. Nice guy is not going to get you friends at all. Accept the fact that if you're yourself there are people who will love you and people who will hate you but if you behave like Mr. nice guy you'll be secretly hate by everybody because they will always think you're fake or behave like this only to get something in return (personal experience).

    After High school/college it becomes hard asf to make friends. Even if you go to the gym and do plenty of things, it's hard to find people you like and be accepted in their groups because usually the people you like are always socially people and have their groups since teenage years and don't want to introduce you cause you'd be the new stranger one and it's dangerous to present a new person in a well consolidated circle. And if you find the person that wants to make friendship with you usually is some kind of socially akward loser like you that is loneliner than you.

    I want to figure out how to make friends too, but I think I'll never have succes in this. I think I can even become a millionaire but there are 2 things I will never have: girls and friends. I'm trying to deal with it. Hope you can be luckier.
     
  9. Why do you think you'll never have girls or friends?
     
  10. zeke27

    zeke27 Fapstronaut

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    Because what @Don Peter Clemenza said. He’s right, I have analyze about that even before he said it. People have established their friendship groups and when someone who is not known comes, rarely their let him/her in
     
    Don Peter Clemenza likes this.
  11. Nah, that's just a cop out.

    Forget about that. Look, here's what i want you to do:

    the next time you meet someone, focus on them. Keep it all about them.
    If they want to talk about you, just say, "I don't know. But that thing you are doing with the _________, when does that / how does that / why is that / where is that?"

    What's going to happen is that some people will talk to you and bounce.
    Accept it.
    Other people are going to love your attention.
    Stick with those people.

    It takes a lot of practice. Keep doing it, you'll get it.

    And what you'll find out is that by keeping it all about them,
    they will invite you to places, you'll get dates, you can make business connections,
    you just need to change it up.

    Never listen to people who say "you can't." They are never right.
     
  12. zeke27

    zeke27 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah you're right. I'll do that. Naysayers are the most toxic people who can advise oneself.
     
    Don Peter Clemenza likes this.
  13. Don Peter Clemenza

    Don Peter Clemenza Fapstronaut

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    Despite me trying hard I can't have success. I'm done
     
  14. Sometimes they mean well. But fear is the currency of this culture.
     
  15. Consider completing a 90 day hard mode reboot.

    It will give you a solid footing in your confidence.
     
    Don Peter Clemenza and zeke27 like this.
  16. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    You are not lonely its better to be lonely sometimes then to be with people that do not add any value to your life anyway you are here "the nofap community" whe are all family here! if you need someone to talk to please send me a pm. Whe are here for you my friend
     
    zeke27 likes this.
  17. zeke27

    zeke27 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your concern buddy, I appreciate it! You are right too about what you said, but the thing is that I don't seem to find this value people, to my life only comes trash people
     
    captainteemo likes this.
  18. Start investing in yourself, through work and this reboot.
     
    zeke27 likes this.
  19. Adon1s

    Adon1s Fapstronaut

    You and I have different interpretations of "How to win friends and influence". I don't see the tips as being Mr.NiceGuy, but rather stop being selfish in interactions and make everything be about the other person. Put away your own ego and play on the ego of everybody else. This will make them feel good and in return they will want to make you feel good. This is called the rule/law of reciprocation. You have to give to be given. Ofcourse you will meet a lot of people that don't give back, and who don't give back what you want. Forget about these people and move on until you find those you want to be friends with.

    I'm 28 years old, moved to a new city several years ago and still don't have any friends, so I might be the completely wrong person to give advice here, but it might also make me the perfect person to give advice. This summer I started challenging myself on approaching strangers for small talk. I noticed sometimes it was very easy to get a good conversation going. I even got some girls phone numbers and even if it didn't lead to anything more, I think it's progress. Last weekend I used the principles from 'win friends and influence' and got the number to some possible friends. Slowly but surely I'm building social skills.

    Also we only want to be friends with people that brings us value. You say you want people that accepts you for who you are, and that means you find this acceptance to be valuable to you. Other people will find other things valuable. You can choose to develop "niche values" (example: super knowledgeable about dungeons and dragons) and hope to find people who values that niche (dungeons and dragons fans), or you can develop characteristics that are more generally considered high value, and that will give you a better chance with the general population.

    You have already gotten good advice earlier in this thread, but not me or anyone else can help you. Only you can help yourself. You have to take action.
     
  20. zeke27

    zeke27 Fapstronaut

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    You’re right in some points but the problem is that it seems like valuable people interested in me doesn’t come along, only people who want something from me and then leave. I guess is something about the environment, never had a good one, always against my odds and now with this whole thing of the covid and vaccination passport, you’ll tell me… :emoji_disappointed_relieved:
     

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