Why am I struggling lately?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction Recovery' started by We CAN Do This!, Jun 20, 2017.

  1. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    Ok, so I'm gonna start by saying that I have never had a decent streak. The longest streak I can remember is *drum roll*.... 8 days. Which is pathetic. But nonetheless I will usually go 5-7 days without PMO or at least P. Lately though (since Friday) i can't make it past 2 days. Friday was my last school day ever, and when I got home, I did PMO, which I was very ashamed about since it was Friday and was supposed to be a happy day.

    Then, I visited my grandparents on Saturday, which provided a distraction, but on Sunday I was left home alone and, surprise surprise, I did PMO. Yesterday, I was out all day in a nearby city after having a college interview, but I had to wait 3 hours for a but and it was 18:30 before I got home (which i was actually happy about as it meant I didn't have time to PMO). Today however, sat around doing literally nothing all day, and yes, I did PMO about half an hour ago.

    I'm usual pretty good at passing 3 days without any problems, but lately I just can't get past 2 days and I honestly can't work out why. I've put it down to the chaser effect.

    If I can break the 7 day barrier I think I will have the energy to push further, so can somebody give me some suggestions as to what to do to push through the next week.

    I no longer have any hobbies (and also not many friends) and my friend just cancelled on me for a day out on Saturday, so I have nothing planned all week and I just KNOW I will PMO. I know it.

    Cheers,
    Matt
     
  2. Brow, you need to focus on creating habits that makes you strong otherwise you'll be in the same place like before.
    Develop a new habit like workout, reading, playing music, medidation, martial arts training, etc. There are so many things to do if you look outside.
    Just go for a new habit & you'll see the change after couple of weeks.
    Stay strong & clean.
    Peace.
     
    We CAN Do This!, Mixtec and SuperFan like this.
  3. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    Well, I think we discovered two big problems right there.

    If your focus is simply on abstaining from PMO, then you're likely to fail. I just wrote this in another thread, but it's important enough to repeat anywhere and everywhere that it's needed: it's far more important to focus on doing positive things than to focus on not doing negative things.

    You need to fill up your free time with healthy activities. Go to the gym, read a good book, meet a friend for coffee. Don't have many friends? Sign up for MeetUp.com and find a get-together in your area around a topic or an activity that interests you. You need to be around people and you need to make more friends, because this is an addiction that thrives in isolation.

    It's been said that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but connection.

    They've done studies with lab rats that were intentionally addicted to water laced with cocaine. When the rats were put in new cages that had the option of normal water and the laced water, they'd go for the cocaine water every single time. But when the rats were put in cages with healthy water, laced water, and other healthy things the rats enjoyed (like toys, obstacles, other rats, etc), they stopped going to the laced water. We aren't much different. With a little time, you'll discover that going to coffee with a friend or spending some time in the sun with a great book is enormously more fulfilling and rewarding than PMO.
     
    We CAN Do This! likes this.
  4. justmyusername

    justmyusername Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, sound like you kinda already know the answer - you mentioned you no longer have any hobbies. Most guys say they have to not just try to abstain but replace PMO with other positve things - working out etc. If you stay home by yourself you'll likely relapse, then you'll feel bad and worthless and then you wont want to go out, its a cycle you have to break. You need to push yourself to get out. Think about all kinds of things you could do - do you like space? - join an astronomy club. There's heaps of things to do - if you get more social in that way you will make other friends and that will help you fill in your time even more