Why are Americans so weird about sex?

Disclaimer: I am an American. I just think that our culture is really weird about sexuality. I don't know... Maybe it's just that we're still living with some echoes of the outdated Puritan values that founded our country as it is now. On the surface, we seem to be very "hush-hush" about sex. We censor all representations of it from popular television, movies, books, music, and art. Any artistic medium that is raw and down-to-earth about sex is considered immoral, depraved, just-for-shock-value, or even dangerous. The only times we catch a glimpse of sexuality in our day-to-day lives is when we see women represented sexually in advertisements because we know it's effective for selling things, or through pornography, which is a perverted representation of what sex is really all about. It's something that we do all the time, but at the same time it feels like it's something we're collectively scared of, something that is used to coerce us or control us.

I'm really just rambling here, but I think about this stuff from time to time and I was wondering if other people (Americans or otherwise) feel the same way.

 

This statement here raised a lot of red flags for me. I should clarify that I don't disagree with you. I think that a society with an out of control sex culture will allow sexual abuse to go unchecked in many cases. I think the red flag is more about my suspicion that you and I might not agree on what it means for a society to be "out of control sexually".

Here's a question that will clarify the matter: do you think that if we stopped censoring representations of sex in popular media, music, art, film, and literature that our culture would be "out of control sexually"? I don't.

 

Please, let's keep this thread on topic. I'm not trying to shut down discussion surrounding sexual harassment, feminism, or the #MeToo movement. I think those are valuable topics that merit discussion, but maybe not in this thread. This thread is more about censorship of sexual content in the US and the general understanding of what sex is about in American culture.

Yeah, this is more on topic with what I was mentioning, and I really think it gets at the heart of what I'm talking about. In the US, it seems like you're being constantly bombarded with sexual imagery and talk about sex, but it's only okay to talk about it in the context of advertisement or for entertainment purposes. Once you start to talk about sex in other contexts such as criticism, poetry, art, acting, describing particular sex acts, or even just in casual conversation, it becomes taboo or, even worse, perceived as some sort of vague threat to society.

 

You're saying that tight, social censorship of any discussion of sex unless it's in the context of advertising or entertainment is the way that things should be?

I agree with you on this point.

 

That's exactly what I'm criticizing about American culture. We're happy to talk about sex all day long... As long as you're talking about it in the context of entertainment or advertising. Talking about it in other contexts such as art, history, or even just conversationally is where you cross the line and things are considered "taboo"

 

I guess I'm mostly referring to the widespread censorship of (arguably) harmless sexual content. Books that describe the intimacy or details of sex are deemed inappropriate for children, movies that show people having sex (even if it represents them as a loving, monogamous couple that uses protection) are rated NC-17, which prevents a significant portion of people from seeing these films (mostly referring to teenagers here, I don't think a young child would get much out of seeing an NC-17 movie), and slang referring to sex acts on television or radio are often censored or replaced with more "appropriate" terminology.

Often times, the justification for such censorship is that such content is threatening to our youth, or that allowing this sort of content will make adults more okay with sexual crimes like rape or assault. I'm skeptical of both of these claims.

Even in conversation, I've had many experiences where sex was considered a taboo topic, especially when talking with my parents about it. My parents were okay with me having sex, they just wanted me to do it safely. They had a difficult time communicating this idea to me because they had some sort of notion that talking with your kids about sex was an uncomfortable topic. That discomfort is the "taboo-ness" that I'm referring to, and I think it is deeply intertwined with the censorship we see surrounding sex.

 

I actually wasn't referring to you when I asked to keep the thread on topic. Although you mentioned sexual harassment and other topics, you mentioned them in relation to censorship and American sex culture, so it seemed appropriate.

Yeah, this is how I feel, too. I think that there are a lot of movies, books, and other social commentary that represent sex in a healthy, loving, safe, appropriate manner, but that are deemed inappropriate or even dangerous for children.

 

I think this is a separate topic entirely from what I'm discussing here, so please keep discussion about the legalization of pornography to a separate thread. I actually think that pornography ought to be legal, but not because I think that pornography is morally permissible (I actually think pornography is immoral and harmful to society).

If you want to see my argument on why I think porn ought to remain legal, check out this post

 

Yeah, and I think that's harmonious with what I mentioned in my OP about Americans clinging on to outdated Puritan morals.

Emphasis on the slightly. I think if we were to debate about whether or not American religious morals and ideals hold up on their own merits, then you would have a point about it being off-topic. However, so long as you're talking about how religious ideals in America relate to our culture surrounding sex, I think it's fair game. It's not off-topic to criticize some of the New Testament's views of sin, sex, and marriage, because a lot of the values from the New Testament are treated as common-moral-law in the US by many people.

Yeah, I agree with you there. I think the impact that sexual material has on children depends on the context in which the material is presented. I don't think that censorship of the content itself is the key to protecting our children, but rather education and communication.

Yeah, I see your point there. And I should be clear that I don't mean to throw my parents under the bus about this, either. Part of the discomfort was on my part as well. Perhaps my parents would have been more willing to talk openly with me about some of the confusing things that happened to me when I was going through puberty (like wet dreams, growing hair, discovering my attraction to women) if I had asked more direct questions. I just think that the reason I didn't ask about that sort of stuff was because I was taught that it was an uncomfortable topic or a taboo topic, and that it was embarrassing to ask your parents about stuff like that.

 

I don't think that anyone here is disputing whether or not internet porn is healthy. It's obviously not healthy...

I'm really not sure what you mean here. First of all, I don't think that "being weird towards sex" or being "normal towards it" are well defined from a neuroscience perspective. Second of all, I'm not sure what you're arguing here. Are you trying to say that Americans have a lower brain capacity because we're weird about sex? Third of all, where's your evidence, dude? How is your cultural perception of sex related to your brain capacity? Which experiments proved this relation exists? I'm calling you out.

 

That isn't my experience. It doesn't seem to matter whether you're in a more conservative or liberal area: sex is pretty prevalent. However, it's only prevalent if it's used for advertising or for entertainment (including porn)