WHY ARE WE IN THIS SITIUATION?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Feb 4, 2018.

  1. Hi all.

    Have you ever wondered: how come I'm struggling with this when I see so-and-so, who is living life and not worrying about anything?

    I've come to think about it.

    This is all our own fault.

    There is deeper level of truth about taking responsibility and drop the excuses. That level is about we are all responsible for our own life, our own happiness and our own joy. That Is because of 2 reasons:

    1. I think that we at anytime can CHOOSE to be the best version of our self.


    2. We are basically the ones who create our own reality.

    We are what we think
    All we are, arises with our thoughts
    With out thoughts we make the world

    - BUDDA
    It can be hard to accept that we always can choose, and that we always can choose responsibility, and that we have created our own reality, and thus this current situation we are all in.

    But we always have a choice, and our reality right now is a product of our thoughts, feelings and actions from the past up until right now.

    We never experience people, situations or events on the exactly same way, because we all have our own 'filters' of beliefs/convictions, that we dont question. These are 'glasses' that we observe/experience the world through. And we are not 2 people with the same exact 'glasses'.
    The interesting here is how each of our individual 'filters/glasses' are, and most importantly - how we can get free of this limited way of seeing and experiencing the world with. This model of our own reality is affected by our past, yes, but nevertheless we have each second of the present an opportunity to choose something else than what the past is dictating for us!

    And I know it is very hard to see these filters, because for ourself it doesn't seem like a filter, but a fact, like something we conclude with our senses is true. So it is very hard to see them, but also very hard to change something that we have seen as reality/fact. It takes time to get to identify those deep convictions we have, and usually the first things that comes to our mind, isn't the ones.

    Some of these convictions/beliefs came from our parents (as a rolemodel, childhood, and even their relationship) others from close friends/surroundings like family, school, friendships etc. And some might come from the culture of the country we live in. Or the religion which is dominating.

    But the important is, we are often not aware of these beliefs/convictions we carry around with us. We interact, make choices and act upon without knowing it. Its like an autopilot.

    When we are not aware of these convictions, they can control us without our knowing. Even worse, we might enforce them in our everyday life.

    So think about it.


    Which convictions/beliefs do you carry around?
    What is your truths?

    fx.

    1. I can't speak in a crowd.
    2. I never get good at earning money
    3. I have low self-esteem and therefore I can't .........
    4. I can never be a part of the group because of my religion/etnicity/etc
    5. I will never get a relationship that works because I ..........
    6. I will never quit PMO because of ...........
    7. I will never learn to control my urges because .......

    You get the point?
    I am trying to be much more aware of my convictions, which actually are the limitations I set for myself. No one else can make me do anything, unless I myself Choose to do it. So therefor I will be trying to read up on meditation. It should be a way of becoming more aware. But I'm also trying not to let this take overhand. sure its good to meditate and become aware. But then I need to start to take action. Or else it will all be waste of time, because we have to reinforce the good convictions and beliefs we have.

    Hope for the best for all of us.

    - xMan
     
    Rocky11234 and Sahdude7201 like this.
  2. M90mv

    M90mv Fapstronaut

    30
    45
    18
    I'm in this situation because my sexuality developed with porn and fantasy while I was an awkward low confidence pimple faced kid with no hope in the world at having real sex.. In hindsight I should have stayed on the path of not watching P and keeping my M to a minimum which I absolutely did not... At the time I didnt realize how damaging it was. For that reason, I pay the price every single day of having issues with intimacy and an inability to find normal sex appealing.. hopefully someday this won't be the case.
     
  3. So basically it has reinforced it self since that time?
    Its long time it has affected, but lets all break the illusions/thoughts that led us to pmo.
    I guess ur not an awkward pimple faced kid anymore, but our mentality might not let that go that easily.
    Lets break this chain of enforced imaginations.
     

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