Why are you addicted?

Not really any of the things u mentioned. It is just the strongest stimulus that doesn't require some substance use. After PMOing for some time nothing will ever compare to the satisfaction it gives you except some substances.
Even now as I am quitting the world just seems plain boring even though there are countless things to do they are just not stimulating enough.

 

I see addiction to porn as a coping mechanism.

Grew up in a household where there was constant fights. I had to put up a stoic face. Vulnerability was a big no no. I was ever on guard and alone. Sex was taboo. when I came across porn, the taboo aspect hooked me deep, the drive to explore sex (dopamine spike) swept me off my feet.

At that time PMO was a release, a solace, an escape from suffering. I had not even the faintest idea that I would be addicted.

At 16 all I knew was that I am hooked to screen at nights or whenever there was no one was at home. It scared me because I had very little control over this compulsive act. I indulged even before appearing for career defining exams. ( loss of sense of judgement). I was trapped between the fact that on one hand I had no control over indulgence and on other hand I craved for porn. The novelty, the taboo, the extremes had me hooked and the feeling of one-pointedness and concentration was a "high" that kept me going for hours consuming porn without even taking a single drop of water. I indulged again even when my body was aching, when my eyes was heavy, when my brain was fogged and craved for sleep. I'd get the minimum rest to get the body going and then I was on again finding extreme stuff to wake up my limp dick. (compulsive addict phase).

What started as an escape became my dungeon.

Also I guess I got addicted to porn because I had high libido and could not form meaningful relationship with women. I got cheated at young age so became socially withdrawn but sexually curious. Also since porn involved engagement of neural pathway regarding to sex, it had the effect of summoning the primal reproductive instinct. The addict brain cannot see any difference between pixels and real women ( that's why your dick wakes up when you consume crap). The neural pathway perceived that I was propagating my genes and it rewarded the behaviour by producing more dopamine. With ample fertile pixelated women available doing kinks that triggered Novelty, I was easily caught in the Coolidge effect.

It took inputs from men such as Dr. Gary Wilson and forums like this to understand what's going on in me physiologically. It took works from people like Ram Das, Eckhart Tolle, Dan Millman, Dr Gabor Mate, a former fapstraunaut named solidstance, other fapstraunauts and loooots of self-exploration to understand and come to peace with the underlying emotional aspects of this addiction.

There seems to be psychological ( Stress, rejection and loneliness ) and social ( illiteracy about potential harmful effects of porn, mainstream culture which encourages people to use people, where human insecurity is monetised and where empathy is a rarity ) aspects that might have triggered my addiction.

What can we do? when we come across people who are suffering, maybe we can offer our sincere support and insights. If it can help at least one person to walk out of this suffering, then it would be worth it

 

I think for me porn is mainly a coping mechanism for various negative emotions. Sometimes though I have to admit I'm just horny and I don't have the self control to stop myself going overboard. I think the term people on here use is bingeing. I genuinely think if porn didn't exist I wouldn't be addicted to masturbation by itself, and if I were able to just masturbate occasionally I'd be fine. Sadly and obviously neither of those things are reality so cold turkey it is.

 

Another thing. I see it as similar to being addicted to junk food rather than something like a hard drug. My reasoning for this is both sex and food are natural human wants/needs and both porn addiction and junk food addiction give the addict an easier way of acquiring those needs with a much stronger rush. Junk food is so addictive to some people because of the fat, sugar, and salt content that would be impossible to source in one foodstuff in nature. Porn is so addictive because it's a super stimulus where your brain thinks you're having sex with all these hot women and thus it makes you want to do it again, even if rationally you know it's fake.

 

Witam.Ja przed masturbacją to zawsze cpalem i ostro mnie ciagnelo do dominacji kobiecej ,dominacji trans i rowniez ogladalem porno sissy i to mnie ostro pociagalo ,cuckold ,bisex i rozne perwersje ktore ogladalem calymi godzinami nawet dniami i nic mnie nie odciagalo od ekranu telefonu bo bylem tak wciagniety w filmy ze nikomu w domu nie otwieralem drzwi bo bylo najwazniejsze sie onanizowac i dalej ogladac kazdy rodzaj filmu pornograficznego .

 

I wouldn't go as far to say that I'm addicted, but when I was 12 to 13 years old, I had a female teacher who was physically fit and would wear tight clothing that accentuated her a**, legs, and thighs. As much as I tried to suppress the overtly sexual thoughts I was having about my teacher, it was to no avail. I began masturbating more frequently while thinking of her and not long after, I began masturbating to pornography over the Internet.

 

Theodore Kazcinsky divided drives into 3 branches.

The first drive being attained with little to no exertion
The second drive being attained with much exertion
The third being nearly or completely impossible to attain no matter the level of exertion.

The modern man primarily concerns himself with the first and third drive.

I find a lot of fappatiers lump finding a meaningful relationship with a real woman in the drive turning to the first being porn, which is easy to attain with little effort. I myself have made this mistake.

 

Because I can manipulate my brain and hijack the dopamine system effortlessly. It is too easy to be an addict.

 

Some of it rings true to me. I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family where sex was considered to be a great evil and I was told I should only date someone if I wanted to marry them. That made the thought of dating extremely stressful so I didn't do it and looked at porn instead.

Also, I felt like I didn't fit in. I'm mixed race and grew up in a majority-white neighbourhood. Along with that most people at school weren't Christians so my family being fundamentalists Christian made me feel even further out of place.

I find porn has become a coping mechanism that helps me deal with stress, shame and boredom.

 

I was raised in a Christian home. Sex was considered a beautiful and sacred gift of God, but, it is a gift to be shared exclusively between a man and woman who are married to each other. The balanced view of dating was that the purpose of it was to get to know a person better so you would know if you share feelings and compatibility. Dating was not just something you did recreationally. But it was not a foregone conclusion you would marry that particular person, but you were both interested in meeting someone with the purpose of finding a marriage mate.

It was neither a sport, nor was it taboo. I still hold to the reasonable ideals because it is practical. I wouldnt have wanted to waste someone's time or, more importantly, send mixed messages that could hurt because the heart is involved. Ita not fair to do that to another human being.

That is why a chaste lifestyle was in force because if you are loose with your conduct, you not only could be confusing if you were not actually on the same page. If my conducted yourself and aacrificed your morals and had sexual contact, now ita more than the heart. What if she got pregnant? Now you are in some way stuck her whether you like it or not.

So I remained chaste until marriage becaause it protected us God frowning on us, there were no unexpected events like pregnancy, and the relation lship was built on friendship and care for one another and not sex.

My dad told me when I was a kid that if you got married and it wasn't for the right reason but the sex was good I might go 6 months or so and wake up one day and say, What the hell was I thinking?? Who are you (to her)? Because all you knew was you could bang. But what about real life? He sis it would be a hard cold slap in the face if that happens and it would be all down hill from there. The beginning of the end. So save yourself the misery. He was a smart man.

If aomeone asks me do I have any children, I never have to say, none that I am aware of. Think about it. Ok your seeds in just one planter. Know what I am saying?