Why Are You Really Here? What Is Your Driving Force to Change?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Boomer49, Nov 28, 2015.

  1. Boomer49

    Boomer49 Fapstronaut


    I’ve been actively on this site now for about 10 days. I’ve also not PMO’ed for those days. I’ve read a lot of stories, journals and relapse tales. What I am not seeing much of is a real motivating reason why people want to stop their habit/addiction. Sure, we all want to get away from porn and masturbation, but what is going to keep you going when those urges and temptations show up? And, you know they will.

    Here’s what it is for me: it is the vivid and unpleasant memory of not being able to satisfy my wife because I couldn’t keep it up (ED); the avoidance at all costs of that embarrassment in the future; the elimination of guilt; and the restoration of the mental health and freedom that comes from living porn free. Every time I feel an urge or spot a temptation I superimpose those thoughts in front of it, wait the very few minutes for the feeling to dissipate and applaud myself for keeping on track.

    So, what is it for you? When you look for yourself, look beyond just wanting to end your PMO addiction - peel back another layer and look deeper. What fuels your burning desire to eliminate PMO from your life? What is your heart felt, rock solid, unflappable motivation?

  2. yoyo1

    yoyo1 Guest

    To obey the precepts of my religion and starve sin out of my flesh and mind to be a better disciple.
    In doing so, I hope my married sex (eventually) is the best ever with no P or M.
  3. britaxe

    britaxe Fapstronaut

    I never ever want to get up from a chair again and see shit and sweat stains where i'd been sat for hours edging away to porn that i couldn't even get off on in the end. 32 years is long enough for me to be "satisfying" myself. No more, i came here, i meant it and i still mean it.
  4. potvis22

    potvis22 Fapstronaut

    Reset and reboot.
    I am here to kick my sicknes
  5. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

    first and foremost I'm here because the person I want to be doesn't watch porn and objectifies women.
    Second reason is because I just feel more at peace with myself when not pmoing
    third reason is because I don't want to be someone who watches porn in a relationship. I think it's something very disrespectful to watch porn when there is someone who wants your attention and love. I don't think porn has a place in a healthy relationship.
    TakingTheSteps, hope4now, JTT and 2 others like this.
  6. calo9025

    calo9025 Fapstronaut

    The reason I am on here is because I am tire of what porn and masturbation are doing with my life. It seems like I have used them as a crutch or a substitute for things that are missing in my life. I am 25 and never really had a relationship and PMO is keeping me from those things. There are other reasons for me being single that I must address but this is at the top of the list.
  7. nfprogress

    nfprogress Fapstronaut

    Motivation comes and goes, but my desire to think, learn, solve problems and help others is lifelong. Those things will be with me long after my rebooting is over.
  8. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

    Am here because I was Lost in PMO. This Demon took away;
    My self confidence
    My self-esteem
    My sharp and strong brain
    My willpower
    My reputation
    My pretty girlfriend and so much more. I still remember how I used to be Confident.

    This addiction is strong but I come above it all. I am here to kick out this Demon out of my Life through the Key hole on the door.
  9. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

    Too many reasons to list, but here's some driving reasons for me to not PMO:
    - I'm bored in my career and work out of my house. I used to pass hours per day with PMO and lost many jobs because of it. Now I'm not running to my favorite porn sites and I'm finding productive ways to get through the boring, stressful times.
    - Instead of being a loner, who prefers to spend time with PMO, I'm pushing myself to be the man I always thought I should be by being: Productive, living an active social life, physically fit, getting the most out of my marriage.
    - Dealing with stress and boredom with healthy outlets, and not running to PMO for a quick fix.
    - I'm not getting younger, time to change or die with regrets of spending too much time looking at porn and not enough time living life to the fullest.
    I could fill up pages, but I this is enough to keep me going.
    Take care, be strong.
  10. kevinkevin19

    kevinkevin19 Fapstronaut

    Mainly to have a better life, to experience all the benefits of quitting and to change my perspective of women from sex objects to actual humans.
  11. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    Yours is always a great image that stays with me, Britaxe - raw and real - shit and sweat stains, not to mention any other stains that may have traveled nearby one's feet on the floor, which only a black light might reveal. How many wooden chairs have you been through now? I recall one or two such instances whereupon I needed to clean the black vinyl upholstery, which was easier to do, even though sickening as fuck. Then, there's always the funky jockey shorts on laundry day when one chose to take better caution against furniture defilement.
  12. redclover

    redclover Fapstronaut

    I'm a 32 years old virgin with anxiety issues who masturbates at least twice daily. I have to try some things if I want to change that. NoFap is one of them.
  13. Going super saiyan

    Going super saiyan Fapstronaut

    Primarily because I miss the ability to get turned on my average women in normal sexual situations, and needing porn to get horny all the time.

    I miss just being able to look at attractive women and get excited and just desire to want to have sex with them.
  14. Man, this is such a great question! There's so much encouragement here, reasons I never even thought of before but now resonate with me. I suppose these are my reasons:

    I want to have the deep, personal, love relationship I used to have with Jesus, and that is coming back little by little every day that I strive to change and remember that he loves me anyway.
    I want my sex life with my husband to be the absolute best it can be, and PMO will ruin that.
    I want to have a healthy outlet for stress, anxiety, and boredom, as nomo said. I want to be productive with my time, stop wasting hours a day on something so destructive and start using those hours to change the world and love on people, like I used to.
    I want to get rid of the anxiety that this whole mess causes. Stop feeling guilty, worrying about someone walking in a room at the wrong time, hoping that I don't slip an "F" word into conversations with my conservative friends, because porn has altered my language so much and made me so comfortable with phrases and words that would make those types of people gasp in shock. Phrases and words that probably used to make me gasp in shock, too.
    I want to, for the love of all that is holy, STOP facilitating a world that goes against everything I believe in! I mean, seriously, I've been an advocate for the eradication of sex trafficking and slavery for years, and somehow I just forget that the porn industry is a huge, huge reason that all of that exists. I wouldn't go watch a movie that promotes women being forced into sex, beaten, humiliated, etc., so why am I okay with watching it on my computer screen? Because it's glamorized enough that you forget what goes on behind the scenes. But I don't want to forget, or neglect, that truth anymore.
    And as you said, Boomer, just the restoration and freedom of mental health. I want to be a healthy, happy individual.

    Most of all, I want to stop being someone I'm not. This isn't the person I've ever wanted to be, and it's not a person I ever want to be again. I want the life I project to others, the parts of myself that all my friends and family know me as, to be the real me, free and rid of all the excess darkness.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2016
  15. SmiesznyKot

    SmiesznyKot Fapstronaut

    First and foremost I want to make my willpower much stronger. I know it's really precious in further life, because I always dreamed to be good father and husband.
    Moreover while NoFap I realised myself I'm more energetic and eager for action. I do things that have not done before, I feel positively and feel like to socialise. It makes me resistant to urges.
  16. xoer

    xoer Fapstronaut

    I'm here to fight myself. I'm here to conquer myself. I'm here to be the best that I can be.
  17. Boomer49

    Boomer49 Fapstronaut

    There is great power in all that you have contributed to this thread. Each of us has something to contribute to the others, and we should. This is almost like a holy war, a war to restore our sanity. Keep sharing.

  18. This addiction has definelty affected me in so many different ways. I don't find the small things in life good. Like a smile from a beautiful women or even a hug. I've missed plenty of chances to be in relationship. I personally feel at times I can be socially awkward. Idk if that's due to Porn but during my long streaks I've felt more clear in my head. I also am tired of abusing God's grace.
  19. [​IMG]

    To shatter the bonds of PMO, forever. To obliterate this heinous plague of humankind (from my life and people who want to see the virus purged for the rest of their life as well). If I need a reason beyond simply separating my life from demonic energies, I would rather die an honorable death on the spot.

    To hold a torch of Truth among the other truth bearing lions here, a burning light in a dark world so caught up in lies.


    Last edited: Nov 28, 2015
    Boomer49 likes this.
  20. Vincit qui se vincit brother.

    xoer and terminalparadox like this.

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