I had been making good progress. I haven't looked at porn in 38 days. I had sex last night and the chaser effect was too much and I wasn't prepared. So I masturbated while fantasizing and came. I did this morning at work, and now I just did now before I tried to fall asleep. I'm stressed, but not really unhappy. I don't know if what I'm doing is some deeper psych thing or just dopamine. I need help understanding what's going on. I'm not struggling with porn, I don't have much desire for it at all. So, did I just trade a dopamine addiction for another one? Why is porn not problematic but now fantasizing is? Wtf... At least I could turn off my phone and make it difficult. It's so easy fantasizing. Now I have to fight this? My brain needs dopamine that bad that now I have another fucking addiction?! God What Is wrong with me? Will I always have this dark passenger in my life? I want to be left alone!