Why do guys stare at me but don't approach?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by green lion eating the sun, Oct 19, 2017.

  1. Opportunity For Better

    Opportunity For Better Fapstronaut

    It was just clumsy flirting.

    Well, keep going to clubs to meet guys, because fuckboys never go there. :rolleyes:

    Because people don't go to clubs to talk. And they don't often go to pubs to talk to strangers, unless they intend to have sex with them. And guys don't want to get into a fight over a girl, so they won't talk to you if you're with a guy. And girls see you as competition, so they won't talk to you unless they came with you.
    wake_up, Hitto, Gotham Outlaw and 2 others like this.
  2. yes of course, the club is the reign of fuckboys i know that very well
    i would never think to be interested in a guy met at a club
    I am just very scared of being hurt again

    i go to pubs where i can talk, same thing with clubs (rarely when i go to clubs) i don't like noisy pubs and clubs
    plus i don't dance. i just drink alcohol, but within the limit, coz i work and i don't wanna get sad-drunk

    there were some language exchanges at these pubs so basically you start talking to people that come from different countries. it is a fun stuff

    i make it very obvious that when i am with a guy friend, he is a friend and i talk to him like i would do with a girl (they usually look sort of nerd)

    damn, girls are so envious among each other. i find it harder to talk with girls. i just wanna reach having a couple of stable friends. more girls and then cultivate these friendships. it looks like i met recently a 20-year-old guy who is a writer like me. wow. let's see
  3. Opportunity For Better

    Opportunity For Better Fapstronaut

    What about joining hobby groups or other social groups, instead of trying to meet people at bars and clubs?
    Reborn16, Sc8r51o1n and Gotham Outlaw like this.
  4. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    If you're going to use them to be confident in a club, at least talk favourably about them. Let's all take a moment of silence, for our beta orbiting brothers, in the friend-zone :emoji_pray:

    Okay now join a social club, sports club, book club, or smile at guys in the shops. Basically (no alcohol = less douches)
  5. It is a normal thing for guys to just stare and not do anything about it. I am one of these people. But this is because the onus to make the first move is always thrust onto the men. So with this, they have a constant pressure to "be the man" and that in my perspective is what makes girls appear as scary.

    So I guess my advice would be to make yourself as approachable as possible. Let them know that girls aren't actually scary, and make it easier for them to approach you. Smile, be friendly and acknowledge that they are probably the most nervous they've been in a while just talking to you. This is actually a great sign because it means their feelings are genuine. If you do this you will attract the right people. Because realistically, most of the guys who actually approach you first are probably the douchebags.

    There's also no rules saying you can't approach guys. If you like what you see then you can go over and let them know, dare them to do something about it if they are interested as well. You don't have to see this as "being the man", it could be better seen as you taking the initiative for something you want instead of it waiting to happen. Cos like I said before, the douchebag to every other guy approaching you ratio is very unbalanced.
  6. I had a guy some months ago when i was about to sit with a book in a coffee shop part of a bookshop. and i heard this guy saying i was beautiful. it made me smile. that is what I want. a nice guy who compliments me in a nice way. maybe i should sit more often in bookshops. i love books and that is my reign :emoji_blush:

    I am just trying to get a social life again. i would prefer getting more girl friends but guys are easier to convince to hang out. even though tonight i will go with a couple of girls too to the Halloween party :emoji_jack_o_lantern:

    btw the guy friends i choose to hang out are guys with whom i like to talk but with whom i would never be temped to be dating, no attraction at all on my side. a guy friend invited me to his house, he said he would have cooked i just declined the invite. lol yeah cooking :emoji_x: no thanks, don't wanna get in uncomfortable situations
    Noelle likes this.
  7. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

  8. doubledave

    doubledave Fapstronaut

    A lot of helpful replies and not so helpful ones.
    1. Don’t go with guy
    2. If u think u are that pretty, then u are the one selecting. Tea house or club where will u rather pick a partner.
    3. Genuine guys are likely shy compared to players. So green light then he will be encouraged
    4. Class and respect commands same. Be nice, approachable and courteous to everyone and you won’t even need to look too long
    5. Staring at you doesn’t mean they want relationship. Esp at clubs.
  9. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    If you're waiting for the guy to approach you will have to deal with a lot of "alpha male" types. That nerdy guy who doesn't approach? Yeah, that's teh one you want. He's the guy who is not going to approach some other woman too after you're married. He's the one who will want to stay home with you and the kids Friday nights.
    I think someone side it right on an earlier reply: pick your target, and let him know you're interested. Give him the green light, encourage him to approach.
  10. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    This. I've met some 10/10 that were complete biatches... making them a -5/10. Would i have f-ed them back in the day? sure. but it'd be for pleasure only.
  11. That is the kind of guy I want. I want to commit
  12. TIMMY0110

    TIMMY0110 Fapstronaut

    Hi green lion eating the sun,

    I am one of those guys who is a bit scared to approach a pretty girl. I have improved a bit now...but have a lot to improve.

    I read all the comments in the thread. Now that a lot of people shared their opinion why guys don't approach..could u share a few points to be kept in mind while approaching a girl. Now, I know that libraries are the places to meet girl haha.:confused:

  13. last night for example a guy friend told me he thought this girl at work liked him very much. finally she showed him the picture of her and the girl she is dating. she is lesbian :emoji_joy: i think it is hard for guys to understand the signals from girls. or they think oh she is playing with her hair so she likes me. it doesn't work like that

    i would say body language is really important. you see if there is a chemistry and she is attracted to you and would like to kiss you. my advice is to be very confident, so improve that. you have to go for it and be upfront. the more people you talk to, the more it will be natural. in this way even if a girl rejects you, it doesn't affect you badly. Be courageous. Get out of your comfort zone. It is amazing

    i used to put my worth just if a guy told me i was beautiful. no, you have to believe you are beautiful. when a guy left me i usually felt not worthy enough. your value doesn't depend on what others may think of you. love yourself and appreciate who you are totally then other people will appreciate you too :emoji_green_heart:

    personally i love books and when i am at a good bookshop i feel at home:emoji_orange_book::emoji_books: :emoji_green_book::emoji_notebook::emoji_notebook_with_decorative_cover:

    btw last night i was a this pub with this guy friend and a guy with whom i hang out once a month ago started talking to me saying he saw me while he was sitting inside the pub. i even stopped talking to him coz he said by accident he removed me from facebook. same thing he did with another friend of mine he met

    this is just to say if you feel good and are working on yourself and have something to offer to others in the sense of you are not bored in your life and can have lovely conversations and be a beautiful person inside and out (above all inside) people want to be around you and appreciate your presence:emoji_princess::emoji_prince: and you are a people's magnet

    It is based on the law of attraction, the second movie is the full movie based on this concept "The Secret" :emoji_grinning: it will change your mindset

    Sc8r51o1n, Reborn16 and TIMMY0110 like this.
  14. TIMMY0110

    TIMMY0110 Fapstronaut

  15. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    That's so trippy seeing a room full of women getting dating advice... But everything that guy said seems to be on point :emoji_thumbsup:
    Gotham Outlaw and Eternal Fire like this.
  16. HacKadi

    HacKadi Fapstronaut

    Exactly, men cant tell if its your friend or your boyfriend or t least your date. Stop going out with guys, simple as that...
  17. I love threads like this because most of the time it’s guys coming in to play the nice guy by saying “a lot of men are pussies which is why they didn’t approach” or “technology has made men weak” or my favorite “men are clueless when it comes to signals” etc etc in a way of saying “it’s not you OP, it’s them”. That is until @Lazarus Shuttlesworth came in keeping it real af with the possibility of “maybe it’s you OP?”

    So you’re jumping back into the dating scenes and expecting instant results, which I would say is your first problem. With dating apps and such there are tons of options for guys, so we’re no longer going to jump for the first available option. Plus let’s be real, a guy who does jump like this is a turn off for most women anyway. Secondly, if you are coming off too forward then you look desperate and desperation is a turn off to men just as much as it is to women. When I’ve had women do it to me it instantly turns me off, even if she’s a 10. Thirdly, stop bumming smokes. It makes you look like a mooch which could be why the guy asked “what are you going to give me”? I know I would have asked the same thing if I saw a girl bumming smokes from everyone until she made it my way.

    Lastly, do you want to know what works better than bumming a smoke? Well how about going up to them and saying “Hi! My names is....what’s your name?” This is called an introduction and it’s incredibly effective in conveying the fact that you’re interested in someone.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 2, 2017
  18. {Ananta}

    {Ananta} Fapstronaut

    My Journal
    if you are serious about meeting girls for potential gf id say you need certain spots that have loyal customers to come to like coffee shops or something or take up some kinda lessons,time is your friend here,a girl that well frequently visit that place to have her coffee an read her book or something then just randomly talk to her like you would a good friend slowly an each day open up to her ,thats my guess i have no idea how to get girlfriend lol
  19. Generally speaking guys can be such pussies. It's hard to approach someone especially at a nightclub by yourself without coming across as a total dickweed. But, ultimately it stems from confidence I knew buddies who could approach women with no problem whatsover. For me it was harder to go up to women at a club especially a complete stranger and hit on them. It depends on the guy I guess.

Share This Page