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Why do I always want to be under the influence of something?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Sep 27, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I'd rather be PMOing than not PMOing. I'd rather be drinking alcohol than not drinking alcohol. I'd rather be smoking weed than not smoking weed.

    I hurt my rib and was prescribed co codamol for it which is codeiene, and it is very addictive as far as I am aware. But after taking the co codamol tonight I really like the way it has made me feel. I feel really calm, relaxed, spaced out, tired and a sort of out of it feeling. But what worries me is why do I like feeling like this better than being sober?

    With PMO I used to love just sitting around PMOing the entire day. I just feel like I always want to be under the influence of something. I don't know why I am like this.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  2. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    Maybe it's something chemical. Not long ago I read about dopamine and their receptors as a factor in people's tendency to be addicted to anything.
     
  3. You are in a dangerous situation right now. You're exteriorizing yourself and your coping behaviour might suffer the most.
    The best you can do now is give up on these destroying distractions all at once. Don't make it up for PMO with alcohol or otherwise. Save yourself!
    Stay strong!
     
  4. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

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    You want to be under the influence of something, because you are avoiding the pain of your inner childhood trauma. When you are sober, you start to feel bad, scared, anxious. Ok, firstly nowdays it might be withrawal symptoms, but if you didnt have those, you still felt like crap. These are the feelings of traumas you havent dealt/faced with. If you want to feel better, you must go through this pain. I know that it feels unbearable, and its easyer to numb yourself with "medicine" of your choice, but thats the road to self destruction. Take it slowly. Try to go one day and endure that pain and memories that come up. Then relapse if you want, but continue to find the root cause of your pain. We do this addictive behaviour to avoid dealing with painful inner problems/traumas. Thats a FACT.
     
  5. Prob cause that’s how escapism works .
    Great post
     
    Despicable me likes this.
  6. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    You are in deep addiction now. Basically you need your fixes (porn, alcohol, weed) just to function. You need to take this very serious and it doesnt look like you are.

    Codeine is HEROIN. Stay away from that stuff, no matter how you feel.

    Given you are already addicted to other substances, falling for the opiate trap is even riskier.

    Stop the codeine and face the pain. Stop running away from pain, it will fade away just like the euphoria from substances does.

    Again, STOP the codeine. You would not or should not have been prescribed it if you came clean with your other addictions.
     
    Despicable me likes this.
  7. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Can I just say I basically never smoke weed these days. I do drink alcohol which usually is binge drinking either once or twice per week. This is the first time I have ever took cocodamol.

    I wouldn't say I am deep in addiction. I have took 2 cocodamol tablets and enjoy the way I feel off them. I admit I usually prefer being under the influence of something more than being sober. But I am usually sober much more than I am under the influence of something.

    Like I said this is the first time I have took cocodamol, which I was prescribed after an injury to my rib. I only ever smoke weed once in a blue moon these days. I will admit though I do think I might be an alcoholic. I don't drink every day. But when I do drink I get drunk, and I do seem to want to drink far too often.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2019
    Despicable me likes this.
  8. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

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    You know, its non of our business how much you use any of these things. Important thing is that you asked help, and admitted to yourself that you have problems. Thats a first step, and you did it. We are here to give you advice and help you through our experiences. You have to do the work, and I hope you will find the strenght and willpower to do it. God bless you on your journey to Healing.
     
  9. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Thanks very much man.

    Yeah I mean I do think I have issues. But as far as being addicted to something I would say it's alcohol and maybe PMO. I mean I go without porn for weeks at a time and things like that.

    But even when I was younger I always liked being under the influence of weed being stoned or getting drunk or something. I just seem to find it enjoyable being under the influence of things more than being sober a lot of the time.

    I have had traumatic things happen through out my life. So maybe that's what has caused it. I'm not really sure.
     
  10. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

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    I can say as an addict, who had f***d up childhood, that these traumas are the reasons for addiction. First time you use something, you feel great, then you want to feel great again, and so the downspiral begins. Later you are physically and mentally addicted, and thats a bad place to be. Alcohol in itself is a depressant, means that it creates depression. Its a double-edged sword. When you drink, it calms you down. And after that the "fun" begins. You feel bad, your head aches, depression levels are higher than Before, the Shame and quilt, why did I have to drink again. It takes vitamines and minerals out of your body. It kills brain cells. So now lets do the math: average night, drinking about 6 hours, first three are fun, last three you are wasted. You have poor sleep. You wake up, hangover, all the depression and quilt and other shitty things all day, and a little next day. So for 6 hours, of feeling numb you got two days even worst depression than Before drinking. If you love yourself you wouldnt do that to yourself. Not twice a week. Maybe once a month, or even less. You feel good without it, if you deal with your inner problems. The same with porn, you give up feeling better in a long run for some 30min session and 3 seconds of orgasm. Endure the pain and youll see that you are much more happier and wholesome person after that. You attract more quality people in your life, and Yes there will be allso quality women;)
    Women like men who can endure pain and dont run away from problems. Thats allready coded inside them. So go and accept the pain, and life will smile at you.
     
    Fenix Rising and Hold it in like this.
  11. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I meant you are deep in addictive behavior (alcohol/pmo) if you need them to function properly.

    I again encourage you to face the pain and stay away from opiates, especially given your situation. You should never crave the way you feel from a drug.

    Did you tell the doctor about your addictions?
     
  12. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    You're just exchanging one addiction for another. Term is called "cross addiction". It's very common fenomena. When you abstain from PMO, your brain enters in dopamine deficiency state and seeks high dopamine rewarding behaviour or substance to fix the deficiency. To avoid this you need to get dopamine from healthy highly dopamine rewarding activities like daily aerobic exercise, socializing, meditation, prayer etc. and not allow bad dopamine rewarding activities to replace PMO. I stopped drinking alko altogether, eating sweets (chocolate and ice cream in particular) once I noticed I tend to drink and eat them way too much. My next goal is to limit social media and screen time to the minimum as I'm noticing I spend a lot of time mindlessly browsing the web (highly dopamine rewarding activity again).

     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2019
    skaterdrew likes this.
  13. I feel this post on another level. I can totally relate
     
  14. You are clearly describing your problem, I am not sure why you do not understand it. Your normal state of being, is not enjoyable.
    When you are sober in every sense of the word you do not feel good about yourself and about your life. This state is called mild chronic depression, which you should address before it gets you on the way to substance abuse and addiction.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 28, 2019
  15. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    A really big issue I have is I have a very overactive mind. I get extreme obsessions. Non stop thoughts that keep coming in to my head constantly.

    When I am under the influence of something or PMOing this goes away completely or near completely.
     
  16. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I used to be the same way, overanalyzing everything. I even made career in risk management out of it. PMO calms your mind because orgasm releases neuropeptides oxytocin and vasopressin which act as multifunctional analgesics. BUT there are ways how to keep your mind calm and focused at the same time without PMO, alco or drugs. You'll have to figure out what works best for you. For me it's 60-90 minutes of aerobic exercise (walking, running or cycling uphill), WIM HOF breathing/meditation and 10 min cold shower daily routine. For you it might be something different. The important thing is to stick with behaviour that gives you benefits until it becomes a habit, your second nature, so you'll do it every day without even thinking about it. Here are some additional suggestions I came across:
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2019
    skaterdrew likes this.
  17. Healthy people with very active minds are some of the most motivated people, they enjoy thinking and using that mind to explore ideas. You are not doing that, you do not want to.
    It really makes no difference how you explain your desire get drunk or do something else. Main issue is that from your own description you do not like being in normal state of mind, and that means you feel depressed. You are trying to escape life.
    The only reason I am posting this is for you to see, so you may understand what is actually happening. This is same thing psychiatrist will tell you.
    Typically people do not have goals and objectives in life, so they do not move in any particular direction, moving aimlessly, this leads to apathy loss of self respect and low social status, which eventually leads to chronic depression then substance abuse, then poor health and misery.
    We humans have to have goals, have to have good self esteem and self respect by keeping ourselves accountable in achieving those goals we set, have to interact with and help others to be healthy. Not just exercise and eat well.
    Just stop for a moment and think, would you let your best friend do what you are doing to yourself with drugs and alcohol?
    You would judge him/her, you would say - how dare you throw your life away, you deserve better, you have to do better.
    So you would care more about your fiend than you do about yourself,
     
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