Why do I do this? I can't answer so I'm unable to help myself

Brother, it's a difficult process that makes you feel terrible, sometimes for a longer period of time. Your own body fights against you, because it's got accustomed to an overdose of happiness hormones and such.

There are different things you can do in order to get free, but none of them is easy. So to say, if you want to be free, you have to choose from a number of thorny paths. However, at the end of each journey is sure freedom. Moreover, you become a much better yourself, because you know how low you can fall.

What drives you to get rid of the addiction? Make a list of such things.

Have you read everything on https://nofap.com/glossary/ ? You should get to know your enemy before even attempting to fight.

What other aspects of life would you like to change? Have you ever wished to do something fun? Recovery is the best time to take up a hobby, sport etc., because it shows you that PMO is simply boring and pathetic, while there are so many things to do.

I have this rule that I remind myself of: I will never watch/see any PMO until the end of my life. It's something an addict has to realise. You'll never PMO again in your life (of course the last letter is understood as an effect of the previous two, not with your wife, duh).
You don't need it in your life. Really, in fact, now when I'm 99% free I feel like I've only started living my life, and I'm doing it to the fullest without any obstructions from something as pathetic as PMO.

Also, a free person is always a person who's in reality 99% free, because urges happen, but they're easily ignored. Such a minor inconvenience is nothing. It's a reminder of sort.

So, can you try again? I know you can! Stand up and start fighting from this moment on, and believe me, the end result is worth all the pain.

Cheers!

 

The question is brilliant. The answer ought to be taught in school from an early age because it is the truth.

Let's alter the question slightly and ask: Why do I get hungry?

Why do I want to eat?

Why, when I eat certain foods, do I feel satisfaction? Why is a cheese burger better than celery and ranch dressing?

So, why do you get hungry?

You get hungry because your brain is wired to want to eat because wanting to eat leads to eating, and eating is a successful survival trait. Cheese burger=a prize of protein and carbohydrates. Celery=just not so much.

This is the same for all life, all living things.

There are really two hard wired instinctual drives in all successful species: seeking and finding food; seeking and finding sex. Doing those things are rewarded with a brain reward event, which can be simply defined as a dopamine high. It is all neuropsychology. You were born to seek both sex and food. You seek food at an earlier age, because if you did not you would die. You seek sex--and by "you" I mean all humanity--just prior to puberty. Does that mean you actually want to have sex then? No. But it starts to become fascinating to us about then, and by "fascinating" I mean that around that time it begins to result in a dopamine high--a brain reward--for thinking about it. That is nature's evolved way of encouraging reproduction.

It is not so bad, but we should all be aware of it, what it is, why it is, before it happens.

Now porn. Let' be specific, it is not just porn, it is specifically High Speed Internet Porn. We (us, you, humanity) liked porn before HSIP was invented, but the invention of HSIP made getting that dopamine high (dopamine reward, aks reward for thinking about sex) more efficient and easily obtained than prior to its invention. While we call it "porn addiction" it would be more accurate to call it "dopamine addiction, using porn to think about sex" but that's a mouthful.

The answer: You watch porn because watching porn leads to thinking about sex A LOT. Thinking about sex leads to a brain neurological reward, a dopamine rush, and you like that feeling, that high, even if, at the time you are getting it, you do not conceive of it as that or understand it as that. You can use porn to boost that high to a high more high than you can get without it. We are clever monkeys and have figured out how to do that. So the question you should be asking is perhaps not why you watch porn, but why do you "like" watching porn? You like it because it results in a dopamine high.

Ultimately, the dopamine high is nature's evolved way of encouraging reproduction, in us, and in all species. Well, mammals anyway. The drive to reproduce is any species most successful survival trait. In humans, thinking about sex often leads to actual sex, and actual sex often leads to reproduction. Ergo, thinking about sex is "rewarded" with a neurological brain reward event: A dopamine rush. Currently, the most efficient means we have invented to "think of sex" is High Speed Internet Porn. By the way, we can achieve that rush via other means, such as--actual sex, drugs, alcohol, nicotine, and other behaviors, most of which are quite unpleasant.

You watch porn because you get a rush from it. This is the why you get a rush from it. If you want to quit, you must accept you are giving up that rush. Giving it up is eminently doable, but is difficult, because by the time you have arrived at "porn addicted" you have trained your brain to want it every day, all day. The key to quitting is training your brain back to pre-porn normal.

You really have to understand the why before you quit, because until you understand the why you will not understand what you are quitting. A lot of people stumble around here for years while trying to quit watching porn, when in fact what they should be quitting--and understand they are quitting, is using porn to boost sexual thought, which lead to a dopamine high.

Knowing yourself is key.

Hope this helps.

Much love.

Will I AM.

 

Your title sums up very well what in my opinion is one of the big truths of this whole deal.
You usually develop an addiction to porn (or to anything else, for that matter) as a way to cope with other problems in your life. Finding those problems and dealing with them is the true path of recovery.
In the meantime, you learn to avoid porn and find healthier ways to cope, but until you identify and address the core problem the urges will continue, and quitting will remain an impossibly hard goal to achieve.

That's why introspection, reflection, or therapy can be of so much help.
In my case, I had self-esteem issues throughout my teenage years, and I found in porn a perfect way to evade.
Shyness, lack of social skills, or just plain fear and anxiety kept me from putting myself out there, bonding with others and interacting with girls, and that left me feeling inferior to everybody else. Binging porn was very effective at shutting those feelings down for a while.

Although I tried quitting porn during that time, I found it impossible. It was only after I made positive changes in my life to get out of that hole that watching porn became less frequent for me. It still took a lot of willpower to kill the habit completely after so many years, but at that point it felt like something I could do.

Reflect on your situation and the stresses and anxiety in your life. When do you typically feel the urge to watch porn? How do you feel at that moment? Stressed, scared, depressed? What are you trying to evade?
These are all key questions to ask yourself.
As you very well said, until you can answer them you won't be fully able to help yourself.

Good luck on your journey.

 

Short answer; dopamine. Longer answer; easy, stress free, massive amounts of dopamine.

You need dopamine to live, literally. It's one of the things that makes life good. If you don't get enough your ability to concentrate, to prioritize, they are compromised. You can't function at normal levels of competence and you wonder why, then you decide it must be because you suck as a person and you get depressed. O gives you a lot of dopamine. It's your body saying "good job, do that again!" The problem is PMO is about a billion times easier to do than real S, and can get to where you prefer it over real S. Then your body gets used to a lot of dopamine on demand so when you notice side effects you'd rather not deal with, like PIED, and you quit, your body throws a tantrum. It throws a LOT of signals that previously worked, to get you to PMO. Anything that reminds you of your P consumption makes you want to use it again, and the triggers get progressively sensitive. A guy who couldn't get it up until he saw something very specific, after a few weeks, gets hard to the intimates section at Wal-Mart.

It's not because you're a bad person or a deviant. You (probably) don't have an overactive libido naturally, and you don't have to be this way forever. You've simply trained your body to do this through an honest mistake, and it is difficult but you can train your way out of it. It doesn't happen overnight, though. It doesn't even necessarily happen in 90 days. It is possible though, and I can tell you for certain it does get harder, but after a certain point (different for everyone) it gets easier.

 

Muy buenas reflexiones...Dios te bendiga

 

Humans are designed to enjoy sex. It’s for the sake of the survival of the human race.

Porn preys on loneliness and people’s sexual desires. The porn industry knows this and it’s why they are a $100 billion dollar industry.

Call me a radical but I think if (insert your country here) would fight loneliness as a health epidemic. Then porn addiction may go down.

 

Looking at porn feels good. Those feelings come come at high price, but that’s the reason. You want to and you can, so you do. Of course, you want to break your porn habit too, but wanting to quit is just part of the cycle. Is there something that you want that doesn’t have anything to do with porn?