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Why Do I Do This...? (possible trigger)

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by ryan23, Aug 31, 2019.

  1. Aug 31, 2019 #1
    ryan23

    ryan23 Fapstronaut

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    So one girl my roomate sees is pretty attractive. I heard her making loud noises from the room next to mine (having sex) and I got close to my door and fapped listened to her. I don't like what I did, but I remember when I was younger I would look at up youtube videos of people recording people having sex next to their doors and things.

    I think it's the getting away from it aspect. And she sounded really hot having sex. I'm not trying to rationalize but sometimes I make myself feel like a freak for my actions. I'm working on getting better. One day at a time.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2019
    ryan23, Aug 31, 2019
    ryan23, Aug 31, 2019
    #1
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  2. Aug 31, 2019 #2
    Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut
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    A thought enters your mind -- "I am going to focus on those sexual noises I am hearing." That quickly escalates to -- "I am going to go over by the door to listen more closely." Before you know it your pants are at your ankles and you have reset once again.

    The moment to stop the train of these thoughts is before they leave the station. When that first thought enters your mind, that is the time to assess it for the unhelpful thing that it is and then replace its lies with truth. You know that thought will lead to a situation you do not want to be in. The consequences could be far worse. (Imagine if you were caught!) The truth is that you do not want to violate this woman and her privacy. The truth is that the respectful thing to do would be to leave her alone to her pleasure, which has absolutely nothing to do with you. You could decide to leave the house or put on headphones or any number of things.

    1. Freeze the thought
    2. Run it through your truth filter and find the lie
    3. Exchange the lie for the truth
    4. Exercise the truth -- take positive action

    See? Do this, and you will be FREE! :)
     
    Tao Jones, Aug 31, 2019
    Tao Jones, Aug 31, 2019
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  3. Aug 31, 2019 #3
    ryan23

    ryan23 Fapstronaut

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    At the same time, my room is right next to theirs so all I have to do is barely open my door and can hear them loudly. But you're absolutely right, especially if I were to take it a step farther and come closer to their door. It's none of my business. Thank you for sharing your insight!
     
    ryan23, Aug 31, 2019
    ryan23, Aug 31, 2019
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  4. Aug 31, 2019 #4
    Chappie77

    Chappie77 Fapstronaut

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    How about having a chat with your room mate?
    Just let him know it makes you feel uncomfortable listening to him having sex.
    Most guys who are not assholes will change their habits.
    Maybe have house rules on overnight stays.
    Two nights a week and he let's you know in advance.
    You could disappear for a couple of hours when she calls over.
    I'm sure he would feel more comfortable with such an arrangement
     
    Chappie77, Aug 31, 2019
    Chappie77, Aug 31, 2019
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  5. Aug 31, 2019 #5
    Harry Pottery

    Harry Pottery Fapstronaut

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    I would probably do the same as you. Talking to him would be the best way to avoid this kind of situation in the future.
     
    Harry Pottery, Aug 31, 2019
    Harry Pottery, Aug 31, 2019
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