It's 5am and here I am once again letting go of my hopes and dreams of a better life for a five minute pleasure. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Right now I've got a lot of shit on my plate and the only way I know to control my feelings, to take in the hit of rejection, is through PMO. I thought having sex would weaken my addiction, it's only manged to make it worst. I've attempted to build relationships to handle this addiction, both sexual and emotional and I've only managed to make things worst. I keep saying I want a better fucking life, but here I stand once again resetting my counter with an unbearable headache and the critic in my head telling me I'll never get out of this pit. Fuck porn.