Why do i hate myself so much?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Uchinaru Heiwa, Aug 2, 2019.

  1. Uchinaru Heiwa

    Uchinaru Heiwa Fapstronaut

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    I really can't see anyway out. I am stuck in this state of mind for over a decade.
    Tell me please. Is there any hope left? Is there a way out of this struggle ?
     
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  2. Hero:HOPE

    Hero:HOPE Fapstronaut

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    Yes... there is a way out. Even if it's just a wall without any door. There is a way out sometimes you need to make the way out yourself. I was depressed for years as well. I am no longer depressed. I know many people that deal differntly with their depression. Most of the people endure it and wait for things to change. But I didn't. I can't do that. I was suffering so bad and there was no Hero coming to save me. But I made it. There is Hope... always. It's inside your heart locked up where the darkness can't reach it. Waiting for the right moment when you are ready.
     
  3. Tripolar Ape

    Tripolar Ape Fapstronaut

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    Hey Uchi,

    I bet it almost feels like a really bad dream... And of course there is hope. What is your struggle? There is a solution to every problem. I just relapsed yesterday and came in here looking for answers. Just the fact that I am actively looking for a solution helps my state of mind. We just have to stay strong. What are your goals? What is stopping you from achieving them?
     
  4. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    What have you done lately to make yourself proud?

    Do more things on a daily basis that makes you respect yourself than hate yourself. Soon you'll have more reasons to love yourself than to hate yourself. Reinforce why you should love yourself.

    But if you're waiting around wishing and hoping that things will become different or that you'll magically become different someday, you won't see much results.

    You have to change if you want your quality of life to change. Not the other way around. The people who wait until their quality of life changes before becoming someone better are the same people who will always wish and hope that things were different.
     
    Uchinaru Heiwa likes this.
  5. Uchinaru Heiwa

    Uchinaru Heiwa Fapstronaut

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    First of all. Thanks for all the response.

    I try so hard to change. It's not just that Nofap thing its about everything. I made a plan and i tried to work it out. The only achievement i got so far this year is that i lost almost 50lbs. I need to study hard for my bachelor but i just can't focus. It's like i want to do so much but i just don't do it. I am feeling paralyzed in this moments. My thoughts are hitting me every night and so often i think about just let everything end.

    I have so much to do ... i want to become so much more. But i am that fat lazy bastard sitting every day in my room.

    I just don't know why i can't change. This is why i hate myself.
     
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  6. Subzero-32

    Subzero-32 Fapstronaut

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    Man,stop that mental resistance, I suffered from this state of mind too but It got a lot better by realizing that most of my thoughts were usless and just bad for me and I had to shift my thought pattern to support the changes I made
    Nofap and good habits alone aren't enough..you need to change your self image
    Take it one day at a time..everyday is a new opportunity for you to get better
    It takes a lot of time to build concentration and focus after getting used to a lazy life style..so be patient with yourself and don't hate yourself for failing to achieve the goal..rather respct yourself because you are trying..and try to be better the next day
    It's all in the brain..it takes time to create neural pathways for new habits and strengthen it..so don't strive for perfection because you will never be satisfied then
    I respect you because you are a fighter..and so should you..respect yourself and your efforts
    Be patient with yourself and at all cases be a friend to yourself
    If you got mistreated by people or parents in the past then you should know that it's their problem not yours..don't occupy your mind with their evil voices..be understanding and respecting to yourself because you deserve
    Nothing can hold you back except your own thoughts
    It takes time..but it's worth it
    You have potential man don't ever give up on yourself
    Much love
     
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  7. Dat95

    Dat95 Fapstronaut

    You had the answer all along.
    First tactic of changing mood: change the environment and situation! You’d be amazed how a walk in the park with your head held high, chin up, chest out just improve your mood drastically!
     
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  8. Uchinaru Heiwa

    Uchinaru Heiwa Fapstronaut

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    You can't imagine what that means to me. Thank you.

    I will not try to change it. I will do just do it.
     
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  9. Hero:HOPE

    Hero:HOPE Fapstronaut

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    You wanna know whats funny. Even if you cure your depression. You will be the same. Even if you stop hating yourself. Because thats where I am. I am a Student. I achieved to build up muscles. But when It comes to do stuff that will change my life. Like learning or working on myself I just resist. I want to be ao much more and do so much more. But I keep staying in my room sometimes. I want to do something and expect progress. But this is maybe not how it should be. Dont do it because you need progress. Do it because you want it. Maybe that will help. What helped me a lot is that I stopped trying to prove anything to anyone. Said: I don't need to prove that I can do all those things. Not to anyone and especially not to myself. Because I know already I can do it.
     
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  10. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    I want to tell you something. Your question really saddened me I had to write about it.

    Before I found nofap I was a guy who just ran away from his problems by doing pmo until I could not walk, work, function or even sleep. I did it for everything.

    Of course doing something like this that you know is wrong sets you up for all kinds of mental problems because you hate that you do it, you feel so shitty. I hated myself and thought everyone else should too.

    I was tired of trying to quit. I spent years failing , I just wanted to give up.

    Then I discovered a bodybuilding website. I started watching the videos hoping that they would help me become more like a body builder mentally with strength. I saw in those ppl a huge mental strength and commitment that I needed.

    I watched one video of a guy who sounded like you. He weighed over 700 lbs. he hated himself terribly. He looked like I felt about myself. I instantly felt a connection.

    I read His story.
    He joined a body builder site and uploaded his pics in a degrading attempt to make fun of himself —because he hated himself and expected the other people in the forum to make fun of him.

    That did not happen.
    He got encouragement and encouragement. People sent him notes of ideas on how to burn calories, how to exercise, they sent him stuff to wear or things showing they were accompanying him on his journey to better health... he hadn’t been able to shower in over a year—-someone donated a pool.

    The whole thing was just a loving community. Showing him love, until he changes.

    It was so eye-opening. I then realized that if that guy could change —I could change. I just needed a community. Coming here was hard. Not everyone is understanding. Some people DO make fun of you, but you will be surprised how mich you can change once you feel loved, listened to, and supported.

    Don’t let you, stop you, from being the best YOU, that you can be.
     
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  11. Hero:HOPE

    Hero:HOPE Fapstronaut

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    I see. The key is so feel loved and get support. Well I will stop making promises. Not because I think I will break them but because I don't need them.
     
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  12. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Yeah. I think at its core , self hate destroys us. If we can accept ourselves we can love ourselves. Acceptance requires zero shame. Shame is the worst piece of this. It clogs up our emotional toilet and we never let go of the refuse and pain. Let go shame , you can start to evacuate all your toxic emotions.
     
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  13. Hero:HOPE

    Hero:HOPE Fapstronaut

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    Yeah... its true when I was depressed. Letting go of self hatred and shame was the most effective healing part
     
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  14. Breadman

    Breadman Fapstronaut

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    The best advice I ever got about my depression was two things. See a Dr. Antidepressants helped a good bit but I didn’t like the sort of not caring part. The second and best advice was to start thinking about other people. Try to relieve some of their sorrow, pain whatever. Help serve the poor, feeding them visiting the sick etc. soon you’ll see your own good fortune. It really helped me.
    By the way. You are not fat. You have fat. You are loved by your creator, where you are, as you are and who you are. You are meant to be. A new idea in the mind of God.
     
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  15. Uchinaru Heiwa

    Uchinaru Heiwa Fapstronaut

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    I don't know what to say. I'm sitting here and crying the shit out of me.
    The feeling of being alone even when you have family, even when you
    have a GF is just overwhelming. I know that I'm not alone but i felt
    nothing. It felt like I'm slowly died from the inside.

    I never expected so much support. Finally i can feel something again.
    I'm so sorry that made such a horrible headline.

    Just thank you..
     
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  16. Hero:HOPE

    Hero:HOPE Fapstronaut

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    Oh I promise you that you got the worst ahead of you. I was there too. For me it was the hardest moment in my life. I hit rock bottom. I cried with 20 years right in front of my parents for the first time. I cried and screamed all out. I was about to give up mentally and throw away everything that is important to me and makes my life worth living. My feelings, my dreams, everything dear to me so the pain stops... but when I was about to throw everything away I started to scream right in front of my parents. I closed my eyes and cried and screamed everything out. All my self-hatred, all my pain, everything. I was screaming it to the darkness that was around me. I screamed louder and louder. Until it started to break. The darkness in my mind was shatterin. So I screamed louder. The only thing holding me back to not throw everything away was a child that cried and told me not to jump into the void. It was my younger me. He begged me to forgive him. I told him that I won't let this darkness hurt him. So I screamed louder! I didn't give up. If I give up everything that is important to me, then it makes no difference to be dead or live a worthless life. I couldn't speak for 3-5 days
    HA HA HA!
    That was the turning point for me... from that day I told myself that I would rather die than give up. As long as this heart beats and my lungs are filled with air I will fight no matter what even if it costs my life. I declared war! It was not the final act against my depression but the day that changed everything :D

    Now ^^ you know my story.
    I hope it does help you understand that you are not alone.
    There is a way out of hell. Its the way that goes through hell.
     
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  17. smoke_ash

    smoke_ash Fapstronaut

    Here's a great video for you to cheer up by a PhD in psychology.
    You can do it, just be patient and never give up!
     
    Hero:HOPE likes this.
  18. Breadman

    Breadman Fapstronaut

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    I am saying a prayer that God gives your heart the knowledge that you are created for a purpose and you are loved always.
     
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