Why Do I have Oneitis?

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/unrequited-love-oneitus.188493/

- Get to know her better
- Get rejected by her.
- Meet other girls.

 

I have been in the same situation as you. I have always belived in finding a "soul mate" and all that. But elevate makes a good point. (Elevate is actually one of the people that made me understand and how to move forward in my life).

And stuff like that may take time, but for me it helped to be social and be busy. The more busy I am the less I think about it - and as time goes by the easier it will get. When you are social and busy you will most likely meet someone else that is interesting and keep your mind of her. But if you don't do anything, you will think too much about her, which is not good.

At the same time, I had to learn it myself and I guess you will have to learn it too. We are both still young - we will change a lot and so will they. If I asked myself when I was 15 years old how my life would be today, I would not be even close to what the reality is. But I am still happy! I am happy that my life is not the same as I thougth when I was your age (or myself when I was 15 years old).
We have to remember that there are many years where we can meet new great people (we are still young!), I like to belive that we will most likely find a person that is even better fit for us.

 

Oneitis is partly a result from a lack of experience, partly from unrealistic expectations (which will of course be reduced with experience).

 

Take it from a guy with some experience, I have gotten a lot better regarding "oneitis" or what I would like to characterize as deep infatuation. There's an illusion that a certain woman is always more 'alluring' or more special than she really seems and that's because of the mixture of sexual tension/lust/gametes. We are wired as Men to procreate and inseminate as many females as possible.

When I went through a bad breakup what helped me was actually other women. I'm not saying it is the best advice, but the illusion that there's this "one" special woman and no other woman is like her is a bunch of poppy cockey balderdash because we are thinking with our little heads instead of rationally. In truth, there's many other females like "the one" that are either comparably equal or maybe even better.