Why do I relapse early?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ignacio1, Nov 19, 2020.

  1. Ignacio1

    Ignacio1 Fapstronaut

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    I am new to nofap but I've been trying to quit for years, there are a couple patterns I've seen but mainly that I relapse mostly within the first week or two. Any tips on how to make it the first two weeks? I've noticed that it always starts with thoughts of P and then Looking at P then M then I. I hate it and I want to make progress but it is hard to see the progress when I can't get past a week or two. Please help I need to quit.
     
    Jzclo, SaiyanWarrior and Gold Blood like this.
  2. GeeJ

    GeeJ Fapstronaut

    Do you have a porn blocker and have you tried fighting thoughts. I know fighting thoughts are not easy.
     
  3. Ignacio1

    Ignacio1 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I have a porn blocker on my phone. What would you recommend for fighting thoughts?
     
  4. Gold Blood

    Gold Blood Fapstronaut

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    This is something that happens to all. It is just the Chaser Effect tormenting your life.

    For serious addicts, the first month is tough. For veterans, the first two years are.

    You got everything figured out. That's a big deal. What's stopping you from reaching your goals, is implementation. For this, you need discipline, a strict hardcore discipline.

    My advice is -
    -----------------
    Disassociate from your regular chores for two weeks. During this period, read some books on NoFap and Brahmacharya. Stay busy. Read every page slowly, do not rush it, absorb the contents thoroughly. After a reading session, binge-watch youtube videos on NoFap. Make this a daily habit. Avoid porn completely (no chats, no pics, no videos). You must understand that porn is incompatible with a healthy NoFap lifestyle. If an impure thought pops up, meditate, and pray to God for strength and protection. Chant some hymns if you feel overwhelmed. In case of an urge, postpone watching porn and masturbating for 10 mins. After 10 mins, postpone it for another 10 mins, all the while keeping a check on your thoughts. Keep repeating it. Eventually, you will wean them off.

    Your primary task is to make it past one week, then two weeks and gradually build up your streak. Do not test yourself after a little achievement.

    Be crazy about NoFap. Saturate your mind with pure thoughts, day in and day out.

    All the best. May the Force be with you.
     
  5. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    Worst case is battling the thoughts and urges. It feels so compulsive when an urge hits. Hard to stay disciplined that time and therfore relapse.
     
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  6. Jzclo

    Jzclo Fapstronaut

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    I would suggest not thinking too much about nofap and just do it like it’s a normal, everyday thing. This has helped me a lot and it probably will for you too. The more you think about it the less you will succeed, so just focus on other things; school, work, etc.
     
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  7. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    Can't agree less. What you put focus on, you strengthen that.
     
    Jzclo likes this.
  8. GeeJ

    GeeJ Fapstronaut

    I have a bit of chaser effect now. Try and distract yourself with other thing.
    Relapse.
     
  9. We have much in common, are you looking for an accountability partner to chat with?
     
  10. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed again. 5 times in 2 days
    Knees and lower back starting to pain and thinking ability almost gone but still can't stop. I don't know how can I claim my life back and beat this addiction. I'm in my lowest phase. Only 7 days streak in 2 years. Been relapsing almost every 3 days for years now. Please pray for me.
     
    Gold Blood likes this.
  11. "Only 7 days streak in 2 years" - we are similar - I think I maybe did 10 days, but no more. We can both do it
     
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  12. GeeJ

    GeeJ Fapstronaut

    How can you best be helped?
     
  13. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    I don't know man but I'll never quit trying that's for sure.
     
    GeeJ likes this.
  14. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    It sucks bro, doesn't it. Seeing life and opportunities pass you by and knowing that you could've grasp them if only not for this PMO
     
  15. GeeJ

    GeeJ Fapstronaut

    For example: How does the whole process of relapsing usually go and maybe you can figure out parts you could change or adjust?

    Just try not to trigger yourself.
     
  16. again

    again Fapstronaut
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    Good one!
     
    Gold Blood likes this.
  17. Agreed, thanks for your response. In my case it is also causing me physical pain (sore/cramped pelvic/abdominal muscles) and disability (ED, PE, inability mental and physical to have normal sex).
     
  18. Jzclo

    Jzclo Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed last night, felt a bit shitty but I managed to stop my self with the chaser effect. I woke up today with energy though which kind of makes no sense. However, I will get back on it. What doesn't kill me can only make me stronger. A positive mentality is the best mentality.
     
  19. ToMMy.H

    ToMMy.H Fapstronaut

    I am also in similar situation.
    I have a book tip for you: How to thrive in the 21century: By avoiding porn and other distraction - Havard Mela

    Its very important to find your true answers to couple of questions:
    Why I want to do NoFap?
    How my life will look like if I am able to free myself from porn/masturbation?
    Whats my triggers? Are they random or is it always the same shit?
    Whats my strategy? Whats my personal strategy to stay clean?

    f.e. myself, I am addicted to masturbation+fanatsizing. Mornings are the worst. I noticed that most relapses happen in morning. Most relapses are triggered by me looking up my phone, news web and searching for some spicy shit.
    So the best strategy is to get up from bed asap. If thats very hard, which it is. I will go to bed without my phone. That way I might get cravings to check up my phone -> have to get up -> the classic bad habit chain is broken -> now instead of laying in bed, browsing my phone, fantasizing, I am up from my bed and broke the bad habit so can change it.

    I had some 30/40+ days streak but at the end I always revert to my old masturbation habit.
    I noticed that everytime I started to think I dont need all that shit -> leaving my phone in different room, going for walks, meditating, staying sober, cold shower ->I always reverted back.

    Wish you good luck! You can fucking do it!
     
    again likes this.

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