Why do I still miss my ex guy after 8 months?

[green lion eating the sun]

I am a 25 year old girl. My ex guy left me in January for another girl( i didn't know about this other girl before). i loved him so much. last time we talked was May

i still want him to come back to me or be next to me when i wake up. I am 7 months PMO free. after him i haven't been with anyone else (no s, no kiss). why do i still miss him?

 

[nofepper]

I also still miss my ex gf, she left me also in January, but January 2016.

 

[arunguttu]

Engage in something productive, you like the most.
Or go on some trip, be childish, every thought will be washed away!
If you try not to miss him, you'll miss him badly! ;

 

[Hard gainer]

I am a 25 year old girl. My ex guy left me in January for another girl( i didn't know about this other girl before). i loved him so much. last time we talked was May

i still want him to come back to me or be next to me when i wake up. I am 7 months PMO free. after him i haven't been with anyone else (no s, no kiss). why do i still miss him?

Things happens. Nostalgic feeling towards our older life or older self become painful some times. But he failed to realize your worthyness. Don't waste your energy thinking about past. You deserve to live a beautiful life. You will soon find a partner who is worthy to have you. Keep believing. You already know that law of attraction works.
Stay happy..........

 

[green lion eating the sun]

I also still miss my ex gf, she left me also in January, but January 2016.

it still hurts. have you been with another girl since that breakup? and are u still on speaking terms with her?
I deleted his number and blocked him on facebook for good. if we won't be together, i don't wanna see his face ever again

I think that if i dated a new guy now i would start feeling much better and completely forget about my ex guy
Usually in a month or couple of months i would have a new guy. never been single for this long especially after a bad breakup
I am ready to date

Since I quit my addictions, I improved as a person but still i wanna go back at being the person i was before meeting my ex guy
thing is i am surrounded by fuckboys or guys i don't like, i haven't found an attractive guy who treats me good, that's all

Congrats on your 50 days PMO free, keep going

 

[Deleted Account]

For me I've found that there isn't a set amount of time where I stop missing someone - I stop missing each ex girlfriend after I start interacting with new girls that I'm interested in. When I start developing those first hints of feelings - those initial butterflies in the stomach - for someone new, that's when my ex loses their hold over me. With my first relationship this took me such a long time because I actively avoided pursuing new girls and simply acted possessively and tried to "win back" my ex. However one day when I was out socialising, I met a girl that awakened in me that same excitement I had when I first met my ex, and as if by magic, all of those desires to get back with my ex vanished, just like that.

So since then with every relationship I've been in since, immediately after break up I've made it a goal to interact with other girls. If I interact with enough girls, I'll meet at least one or two that spark some initial feelings - and I'll move on very quickly from my ex.

It has worked 100% of the time.

So I suggest the same to you. Make an active effort to meet some new guys, and spend time with the ones that you are attracted to and who do make you feel good. You'll find that quickly in their company, you realise that your ex wasn't "the one" and that you can have those same feelings for numerous other people, and this'll allow you to move on. You don't actually have to start dating any of them - just spend some time with them and when those feelings start to awaken, your old feelings will start to wilt away like dead leaves.

It's the best way in my experience

 

[nofepper]

have you been with another girl since that breakup? and are u still on speaking terms with her?

I had a couple night stands, but i wasn't in relationship. Yes, we are ok, only reason for break up was distance, she went to Germany, 1500 kilometers from me. We congrats birthdays each other and it's almost all when it goes about talk. It was hard for both of us.

I just want to mention, you need time. First year i was totally broken, i was drunk almost every day. Now it's better, but i still sometimes miss her.

I think that if i dated a new guy now i would start feeling much better and completely forget about my ex guy

Same here. Now i think i am ready for new relationship, but i want to make full reboot (90 or 120 days, not sure yet how long i want to go with noFap) and then find nice girl and fall in love again.

Thank you for congrats. My score is not bad, but your score is unbelievable and really great.

 

[green lion eating the sun]

@Hard gainer @arunguttu
due to my reboot, i have improved a lot. working out at the gym or outdoors, more committed my job, cannot go on holiday now for work

I thought that in 8 months i would have gotten over him. 8 months is a long time. last year i was able to feel happy in an explosive way sometimes. you know, that unique sensation when you are in love and everything looks so beautiful now I am more cynical

@JesusGreen thanks, i will follow your advice. before I felt quoting a sentence by my favourite book “I have nothing to offer anybody, except my own confusion.” Now I know I am an interesting person, now I wouldn't be empty and bored while entering a relationship as I used to be in the past.

Before i avoided contact with other guys coz i didn't want to have s in the middle of the breakup, also being an ex s addict. i am starting to think that if i dated a guy now i will delete my ex from my mind. i just wanna have a hot guy who treats me good lol but for real that's all i want in a guy. I found 3 days a ago a screenshot of a convo i had with him a year ago and i cried all day. yesterday went out with a bunch of people and guy asked me "did you get dumped recently?" i didn't reply but that question wasn't pleasant for me

I found a good looking guy at my gym weeks ago who was doing a gym lesson but haven't seen him again. He was the copy of my ex just with blue eyes. Same hairstyle, more buffed with muscles but similar, a little bit taller, same accent, same face. for a second it seemed I was looking into my ex's eyes. so basically i can only like guys who are the copy of my ex

that the only reason why my last guy is still stuck in my mind is because i haven't kissed or had s with anyone else. is this the reason?

I am confused. If he won't come back to me, i don't wanna miss him anymore. he has been the last one i had in every sense. I would like dating a good guy, getting texts from him, getting ready for dates. With my successful reboot i know i am ready to date and make it right now

 

[Deleted Account]

For me I've found that there isn't a set amount of time where I stop missing someone

I agree we're all different. Different things break relationships and people react differently. I remember it took me 3-6 months to get over my ex. I found listening to a lot of music help me get over it. For some reason I listen to Mat Kearney constantly (especially his Ships in the Night). It's strange I found myself drawn to his music since a number of his songs are about working out problems in a relationship. I also found working helped a lot. Back then I had a job in a warehouse and I had all these physical tasks to do, plus I started a mini part-time university course and I knew if I kept dwelling on my ex I would write bad assignments and fail the final assignment. I guess I kept so busy that I didn't have time to think about her.

I think that if i dated a new guy now i would start feeling much better and completely forget about my ex guy

Not sure about that. Dating now could be a train wreck for you. I had a thing going on with another girl about 3 or 4 month after my relationship ended and I consider that to be a mistake. I hadn't fully gotten over my ex and I was kind of looking to her to replace my ex. It was unfair on her and I basically wasted her time. If you're gonna date now don't date someone you want to be with for a long period of time, because you probably won't be with them for a long time if you still feel for your ex.

A great way to have a crappy relationship is to look to your SO as someone who can heal or complete you. Here's a brilliant article on relationships (it's brilliant because he interviewed 1,500 couples who have been together for 10+ years). In it he talks about how looking to someone to fix you ruins relationships.

I understand you may hate what I've just written in the paragraph above, because it would drive me nuts when I would hear people say you need to heal up before getting in a relationship, but I can't argue with those who have been interviewed for the article for they know what they're talking about.

IDK maybe seeing a counsellor will help. I see you're a Christian so maybe reading scripture will help such as Lamentations 3 or Psalm 34. Maybe reading positive affirmations every day will help. Or listening to music could help when you're thinking about your ex. I think Leona Lewis song Better in Time is one of the best break up songs.

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's going to hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile because I deserve too
It'll all get better in time

 

[green lion eating the sun]

I agree we're all different. Different things break relationships and people react differently. I remember it took me 3-6 months to get over my ex. I found listening to a lot of music help me get over it. For some reason I listen to Mat Kearney constantly (especially his Ships in the Night). It's strange I found myself drawn to his music since a number of his songs are about working out problems in a relationship. I also found working helped a lot. Back then I had a job in a warehouse and I had all these physical tasks to do, plus I started a mini part-time university course and I knew if I kept dwelling on my ex I would write bad assignments and fail the final assignment. I guess I kept so busy that I didn't have time to think about her.



Not sure about that. Dating now could be a train wreck for you. I had a thing going on with another girl about 3 or 4 month after my relationship ended and I consider that to be a mistake. I hadn't fully gotten over my ex and I was kind of looking to her to replace my ex. It was unfair on her and I basically wasted her time. If you're gonna date now don't date someone you want to be with for a long period of time, because you probably won't be with them for a long time if you still feel for your ex.

A great way to have a crappy relationship is to look to your SO as someone who can heal or complete you. Here's a brilliant article on relationships (it's brilliant because he interviewed 1,500 couples who have been together for 10+ years). In it he talks about how looking to someone to fix you ruins relationships.

I understand you may hate what I've just written in the paragraph above, because it would drive me nuts when I would hear people say you need to heal up before getting in a relationship, but I can't argue with those who have been interviewed for the article for they know what they're talking about.

IDK maybe seeing a counsellor will help. I see you're a Christian so maybe reading scripture will help such as Lamentations 3 or Psalm 34. Maybe reading positive affirmations every day will help. Or listening to music could help when you're thinking about your ex. I think Leona Lewis song Better in Time is one of the best break up songs.

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's going to hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile because I deserve too
It'll all get better in time

Thankfully I passed the phase when I listened to sad love songs! A song that always cheered me up when I was feeling bad after breakups is

He left me in January. I feel it has been a long time and maybe the only reason I still think about him is because I haven't had anyone else after him. For example yesterday I was in a pub and there was the song "Baby boy" by Beyonce. That song was me and my ex's song and I used to call him baby boy and I then he started calling me baby girl. I reckon I'm not a train wreck anymore. I had time to go through my grieving period. I love reading the Scriptures

Thank you for the post on relationship advice I realized I went onto that same website a year ago and the post was about not being afraid about your dreams if you wanted to be a writer in particular and to go for it. It was very inspirational

I agree with what you say. In these 7 months that's what I have been doing, healing myself up. I think now I would bring something in the relationship not just me being bored and with no idea what to do with my life. Now I'm taking care and loving myself

Just wanna go on dates with a guy who I cannot wait to see, who treats me good. Now I know I wouldn't do the same mistakes, I have worked on myself. If my ex won't come back, I don't wanna think about him. I feel stupid thinking about him since he left in January. I feel I shouldn't miss him anymore

 

[Deleted Account]

I feel it has been a long time and maybe the only reason I still think about him is because I haven't had anyone else after him. For example yesterday I was in a pub and there was the song "Baby boy" by Beyonce.

Yeah, there's certain songs that remind me of my ex. I find thoughts about about her come in waves. I find myself laughing or smiling over something that happened between us, or getting angry over how she treated me. When that happens I just need to except I'm thinking that and don't let it ruin my day. I guess for me there's more anger than sadness regarding the break up. When I have such feelings I need to remind myself I've forgiven her and let it go, but such thoughts only come to me occasionally. I think if I was with someone else I wouldn't have such thoughts, but I've decided to not date anyone until I'm completely rebooted.

Anyway @green lion eating the sun you sound like you're in a better place now. In my first post I planned share this article about getting through a break up but forgot. Here's the article. Maybe you don't need it now but maybe it'll be helpful.

 

[cud]

that the only reason why my last guy is still stuck in my mind is because i haven't kissed or had s with anyone else. is this the reason?

No I dont think thats the reason. You cannot say that within 6months (or after sex or kiss) you should be cured. There is no time frame - you probably heard about that but it is a time to believe in that. For example ME - It took me long long long time to be out of the desperete feeling and sometimes still not healed. But when I compare how I felt 2 years ago and how I feel now - it is very much different. But not healed thou. It will come...I know it will.

As JesusGreen said - socialize, be with people, make mistakes, just always go forward and if you miss him sometimes, what can you do? Nothing. I kind of think that missing someone is part of forgeting someone. I remember when my break up was fresh, friend of mine told me that only time will heal it, I rememeber how I hated this quote, but thats true. Meanwhile you try to do your best, it will come to the best conclusion. Well at least thats what I believe in . Everything has its own reason.

Dont worry, you are not alone on this road. And you are doing good impoving yourself - we all do that, right?

Take care!

 

[Deleted Account]

I am a 25 year old girl. My ex guy left me in January for another girl( i didn't know about this other girl before). i loved him so much. last time we talked was May

i still want him to come back to me or be next to me when i wake up. I am 7 months PMO free. after him i haven't been with anyone else (no s, no kiss). why do i still miss him?

I would say there's two big reasons this has been hard for you to get past.

1. The breakup wasn't your choice
2. Lack of closure

I had a boyfriend once who dumped me completely out of the blue (at least it felt that way to me). I absolutely did not see it coming at all, and I was totally in love with him. The thing is, when it's not your choice to end the relationship, it's not like your feelings of love for that person just end because he said he doesn't want to be with you anymore.

That breakup was crazy hard on me, mostly because there wasn't much closure, being that I didn't quite understand why I was even being dumped. And also because it wasn't my choice, so my feelings for him hadn't changed at all. It was suddenly unrecipricated love, aftee months of having that love be fully reciprocated and getting used to that feeling.

Breakups can be so hard. Honestly, for me, that breakup was probably in the top 5 of worst experiences of my life, and I haven't exactly had a perfectly easy life. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself for still missing him, but it is important, for your sake, to move on.

One thing that helped me move on and have more hope (and Idk if this will help you, because you might have different beliefs) is knowing that God is good, and if I thought that relationship was so perfect for me, and it didn't work out, then I highly doubt the guy I end up with will be LESS good for me. It's only logical that if you end up eventually being with someone else, they're probably going to be even better, and your relationship will be even better, which may seem totally impossible. But that's something to look forward to.

Also, meeting other great men helped me move on. Not necessarily dating them, although I did date a couple people in between that guy and my husband. But even just meeting lots of good men and seeing how many amazing people are out there is really refreshing and gives a lot of hope. You might see men who have qualities that your ex didn't have, and that can open up a whole new realm of possibilities.

But even that doesn't necessarily fix the heartache of just missing that person. I would say I missed my ex for years, even after being with other people. I had moved on from the stage of still wanting to be with him, romantically, but I still missed him, as a friend. It's hard to devote so much to somebody and then have them just vanish, never to see them again. It's basically like dealing with the death of a loved one, honestly. Only in some cases it's even harder than that, because you know they're still out there, and that gives you the hope that maybe you'll be together again or be friends again someday. The door is kind of left open a crack, leaving you waiting for the gust of wind that will blow it open further. But in time, it gets easier. Time is really all that can heal a broken heart, I think. Which is frustrating to hear when you're in the middle of it, but it'll keep getting better.

 

[green lion eating the sun]

Yeah, there's certain songs that remind me of my ex. I find thoughts about about her come in waves. I find myself laughing or smiling over something that happened between us, or getting angry over how she treated me. When that happens I just need to except I'm thinking that and don't let it ruin my day. I guess for me there's more anger than sadness regarding the break up. When I have such feelings I need to remind myself I've forgiven her and let it go, but such thoughts only come to me occasionally. I think if I was with someone else I wouldn't have such thoughts, but I've decided to not date anyone until I'm completely rebooted.

Anyway @green lion eating the sun you sound like you're in a better place now. In my first post I planned share this article about getting through a break up but forgot. Here's the article. Maybe you don't need it now but maybe it'll be helpful.

yeah thanks.btw also I forced myself to stay single without looking for another guy immediately after just to lessen the pain and deleted a dating app for good. I just wanted to behave like i could replace him in a second, show i didn't care about him

I hated him a lot for leaving me like that when i thought we were going to get back together. I wanted him to suffer. but never been able to really hate him. i made peace with that. i forgave him. it wasn't easy and def a long process but it is better for me, also being Catholic. so I recoomedn you to forgive your ex too. My ex did and said awful things to me but no matter what he did, hating him won't make you feel bitter

I went to hold his hand when we crossed the road in the morning and i kept holding his hand while he was driving. I felt i came back home

 

[green lion eating the sun]

No I dont think thats the reason. You cannot say that within 6months (or after sex or kiss) you should be cured. There is no time frame - you probably heard about that but it is a time to believe in that. For example ME - It took me long long long time to be out of the desperete feeling and sometimes still not healed. But when I compare how I felt 2 years ago and how I feel now - it is very much different. But not healed thou. It will come...I know it will.

As JesusGreen said - socialize, be with people, make mistakes, just always go forward and if you miss him sometimes, what can you do? Nothing. I kind of think that missing someone is part of forgeting someone. I remember when my break up was fresh, friend of mine told me that only time will heal it, I rememeber how I hated this quote, but thats true. Meanwhile you try to do your best, it will come to the best conclusion. Well at least thats what I believe in . Everything has its own reason.

Dont worry, you are not alone on this road. And you are doing good impoving yourself - we all do that, right?

Take care!

thanks for your words and take you too!

Congratulations on your 9 days PM Free, Keep going. In the weekend i put the effort to go out and I laughed a lot with a bunch of people
I felt good. You are right, if i miss him, i can't do anything about it. I def feel much better than i was 8 months ago. everyday i try to focus on only good stuff and be thankful for who and what i have in my life

I saw you put on your profile that you come from Czech Republic, I would like to go to Prague, I love alchemy and in Czech Republic have been conducted so many studies and experiment about alchemy https://theculturetrip.com/europe/c...s-stone-a-brief-history-of-alchemy-in-prague/

 

[Mavricko]

Maybe you loved him. Maybe you are scared to meet someone new. Maybe you aren’t ready for a new partner at all and better being single. Lots of possibilities.

 

[green lion eating the sun]

I would say there's two big reasons this has been hard for you to get past.

1. The breakup wasn't your choice
2. Lack of closure

I had a boyfriend once who dumped me completely out of the blue (at least it felt that way to me). I absolutely did not see it coming at all, and I was totally in love with him. The thing is, when it's not your choice to end the relationship, it's not like your feelings of love for that person just end because he said he doesn't want to be with you anymore.

That breakup was crazy hard on me, mostly because there wasn't much closure, being that I didn't quite understand why I was even being dumped. And also because it wasn't my choice, so my feelings for him hadn't changed at all. It was suddenly unrecipricated love, aftee months of having that love be fully reciprocated and getting used to that feeling.

Breakups can be so hard. Honestly, for me, that breakup was probably in the top 5 of worst experiences of my life, and I haven't exactly had a perfectly easy life. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself for still missing him, but it is important, for your sake, to move on.

One thing that helped me move on and have more hope (and Idk if this will help you, because you might have different beliefs) is knowing that God is good, and if I thought that relationship was so perfect for me, and it didn't work out, then I highly doubt the guy I end up with will be LESS good for me. It's only logical that if you end up eventually being with someone else, they're probably going to be even better, and your relationship will be even better, which may seem totally impossible. But that's something to look forward to.

Also, meeting other great men helped me move on. Not necessarily dating them, although I did date a couple people in between that guy and my husband. But even just meeting lots of good men and seeing how many amazing people are out there is really refreshing and gives a lot of hope. You might see men who have qualities that your ex didn't have, and that can open up a whole new realm of possibilities.

But even that doesn't necessarily fix the heartache of just missing that person. I would say I missed my ex for years, even after being with other people. I had moved on from the stage of still wanting to be with him, romantically, but I still missed him, as a friend. It's hard to devote so much to somebody and then have them just vanish, never to see them again. It's basically like dealing with the death of a loved one, honestly. Only in some cases it's even harder than that, because you know they're still out there, and that gives you the hope that maybe you'll be together again or be friends again someday. The door is kind of left open a crack, leaving you waiting for the gust of wind that will blow it open further. But in time, it gets easier. Time is really all that can heal a broken heart, I think. Which is frustrating to hear when you're in the middle of it, but it'll keep getting better.

thanks, def i had those 2 things. hope keeps me going. i am in a better place than right after he left me. been through all the phases. I have worked on myself also to avoid to end up in the same failed relationships I had till my last one. No one of my guys loved me. I couldn't take another relationship like that anymore. so i put together all the common factors of all my relationships with guys and realized what i had to do

 

[green lion eating the sun]

Maybe you loved him. Maybe you are scared to meet someone new. Maybe you aren’t ready for a new partner at all and better being single. Lots of possibilities.

I loved him. now i know what i deserve and i won't settle for anything less. I have found just fuckboys and guys i didn't really like in these months (personality or body or both). I think there is still a part of me hoping he will come back to me, now with me changed I would do things better with him

 

[cud]

I loved him. now i know what i deserve and i won't settle for anything less. I have found just fuckboys and guys i didn't really like in these months (personality or body or both). I think there is still a part of me hoping he will come back to me, now with me changed I would do things better with him

Yeah, you bet you would. But nothing is the same, thats the thing.

As he didnt have any strong reason to change he could be more or less same personality. Well thats what I have been saying to me about my exgf - it helps me a lot . Is he coming back or not, that really should bother you a lot. What helped me was the passion for something else - in my case it was guitar and my band. But as guy this can be different.

Well, I am not from Prague directly, but its not very far away. And yes, you are right it was the centre of alchemy that time, pretty cool . When you get here, let me know, it would be cool to meet.

Cheers

 

[kasper.PMO]

For me I've found that there isn't a set amount of time where I stop missing someone - I stop missing each ex girlfriend after I start interacting with new girls that I'm interested in. When I start developing those first hints of feelings - those initial butterflies in the stomach - for someone new, that's when my ex loses their hold over me. With my first relationship this took me such a long time because I actively avoided pursuing new girls and simply acted possessively and tried to "win back" my ex. However one day when I was out socialising, I met a girl that awakened in me that same excitement I had when I first met my ex, and as if by magic, all of those desires to get back with my ex vanished, just like that.

So since then with every relationship I've been in since, immediately after break up I've made it a goal to interact with other girls. If I interact with enough girls, I'll meet at least one or two that spark some initial feelings - and I'll move on very quickly from my ex.

It has worked 100% of the time.

So I suggest the same to you. Make an active effort to meet some new guys, and spend time with the ones that you are attracted to and who do make you feel good. You'll find that quickly in their company, you realise that your ex wasn't "the one" and that you can have those same feelings for numerous other people, and this'll allow you to move on. You don't actually have to start dating any of them - just spend some time with them and when those feelings start to awaken, your old feelings will start to wilt away like dead leaves.

It's the best way in my experience

I also miss this girl I "dated" sometimes. Basically we were not in relationship but were in dating phase. We dated for quite a long time too. She decided I was not the one. Although we were not in relationship, it still hurts feeling that I was not good enough. I was also wondering why I have not completely gotten over her yet. What you said hit me in a good way. I guess it is true that you never truly move on 100% unless you meet the new person. I hope that new person of mine comes soon