Why do nice guys finish last ?:(

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Daviesmark1, Sep 29, 2015.

  1. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    So I'm friends with a group of 8 girls and 2 guys at sixth form at school and this one guy in the group I can't stand as he is a complete dick, had managed to pull one of the girls in the group despite this... We often have small parties at each other's houses and drink. ( I'm 17 btw) and he gets this girl drunk and tries to take advantage of her... He's a massive dick and she just allows it. Where as I'm the nice guy who is always there for everyone and is always nice but always goes unnoticed ... Why is it the nice guy always finishes last ?:( I did like one of the girls in the group before but I realised I'm just stuck in the friendzone :/ I walk home with her everyday after school and she flirts a bit , but I think I'm only seen as a friend, I don't get it !-.- can someone explain why as it's bloody annoying! I can't just be something I'm not , I'm not overly loud and massively confident which is mainly what girls like so meh
     
  2. CrossGlow

    CrossGlow Fapstronaut

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    Hey buddy. It may be tough to accept, but just being a nice guy doesn't entitle you to anything. You need to drop the woe is me attitude immediately while you are still so young and start building self-worth and confidence.
    Do you have talents,passions, gifts, or ambitions? Are you working out and minding your appearance and hygiene? Are you doing anything else in terms of personal growth?
     
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  3. calo9025

    calo9025 Fapstronaut

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    I've struggled with the "nice guy' issue all my life. It's best to realize what CrossGlow said now when you are 17 then when you are in your mid 20s like me. I'm going to give you a website that has helped me and it will definitely help you. It's called goodguyswag.com. It has all sorts of advise for how we can grow as men and how to get meaningful relationships.

    Chin up buddy. Things will get better.
     
  4. WarriorSpirit

    WarriorSpirit Fapstronaut

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    Before I answer your question I have to point out a few things so that you understand where I am coming from

    There is a difference between a ''Nice Guy'' and a ''Decent man''. A nice guy is only nice to a girl because he wants sex so he will be the girl a drink and expect sex. Or he will do some friend zone stuff and then get mad when he is put in a friend zone. So why would a girl choose a bad boy/player over a nice guy? why they both want sex yes, The player/bad boy is upfront about what he wants while a nice guy will try to smooze his way into her legs by buying her a bunch of stuff and rubbing her feet and listening to all of her problems and shit talking her last boyfriends as if he was one of the girls friends? Well that don't work and you ''Nice Guys'' are creepy as fuck and lack alot of confididence. And thats coming from womens mouths not mine.

    Learn the game Play the game and better yourself and finish first. STAY AWAY from the PUA(pick up artist) community because they finish so last it's not even funny. shit I think nice guys finish before the PUA's do.


    come to the realmens channel and come up in your game.
     
  5. Phyzik

    Phyzik Fapstronaut

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    I understand what you say, even though I completly disagree.

    Badboys/players do get WAY more girls than nice guys. This is a fact. Although, these guys will mostly get into superficial relationships because their personality is superficial. This ''confident'' attitude towards women disconnects you from your heart. They will attract superficial girls who will love them for their attitude and not for what they truly are.

    Nice guys have big hearts. They are respectful. They do get less girls, but the girls they attract are the ones with the biggest hearts. Think of it as a filter... Nice guys don't have to deal with all the bad girls, they get few girls, but these girls are usually awesome. There's no bullshit to deal with.

    That being said, to answer the thread maker, it depends what you want. If you're looking for superficial relationships that will not lead you anywhere, then you can listen to the video and become a total heartless douche. You WILL get tons of women, but none of them will love you for what you truly are. They'll love you for your douche attitude and as soon as you'll try to be kind, they'll dump you because you're not bad enough. If you want one night stand and tons of women, become a douche. If you're looking for true, meaningful, powerful and lasting relationships with respectful women, stay as you are. This is the true beauty.

    I'm attracted to guys and I can assure you that nothing turns me on more that a nice guy who REALLY cares about my personnality and not only about my body. Biggest turn off are those douchebags who only care about themselves... Actually, worst thing ever is a nice guy who TRIES to be a douchebag. This breaks my heart when I see one. Why cover the true beauty of a kind heart?
     
  6. CrossGlow

    CrossGlow Fapstronaut

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    Phyzik, I think what WarriorSpirit was trying to say is that many "nice guys" don't act out of altruism and only use niceness as a means of masking their shame and lack of self-confidence.

    Truly kind men love themselves and will never be the ones complaining because they take care of their own needs before the needs of others.
     
  7. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    in my opinion there are also two things to consider like:

    it also depends on what is your definition of finishing first or finishing last. in a school exam a kid can copy and get more marks than the kid who studied hard. i once got full marks in an exam and the entire class had copied with books hidden under the desk. i dont think much of it. but its the other exam where i worked hard n got good marks, that i'm proud of. i still have the answer mark sheet with me. its a proof of my ability.

    the guy who robs or fools others through a cult or something else earns more money and recognition n praise...than the guy who sweats it out. i'm not judging but it all depends on the way in which you finish the race.

    second thing is one neednt only be nice. one can be
    nice and funny
    nice and muscular
    nice and hardworking
    nice and a streetsmart
    nice and a great chef/artist/intelligent/witty

    a bit strange analogy but just as we need vitamins and carbs and proteins for a healthy body...being nice alone wont help you get far. you also have to earn other adjectives before your name.

    it feels good to be nice though. like the other day i was in the bus queue and a rickshaw(small taxi) passed by and a coin fell from it. the rickshaw slowed n the passenger looked back. i picked the coin n handed it to her. she said thanks.

    i didnt do some mega great stuff n if it were a busy street or i were in a bad mood i wouldnt have done it...but theres nothing wrong in being nice just as theres nothing wrong in being muscular and hygienic.

    just being a nice guy doesn't entitle you to anything

    i like this.
     
  8. Spidey2Dope

    Spidey2Dope Fapstronaut

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    Just wait buddy. Dont change who you are! I was and still am the nice guy and never really got the girl either. I've found an amazing woman now and she loves the fact that I'm not a dick and I don't treat her like dirt. She has told me many a times she feels so lucky to have me because when she looks into my eyes she can see how much I truly care and love her. You will find that girl. I promise! I thought I would never find the "one" for me but I did and you will too!
     
  9. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    I'm not suggesting that at all !;)) I think everyone has misunderstood me. I just feel like I should get noticed a bit more. Some girls that I know have even said to me " how have you not got a girlfriend"? And I don't know myself I see guys in my year with achne all over their face and long greasy hair and still manage to pull? I get that it's not just looks that are important obviously and I believe that too, it's more about personality which I totally agree with. I'm a average looking I'd say , I don't have any spots, I have short blonde hair and I'm around 5ft 9 . Just your average guy really haha:) yes my talent is football commentating :) I do it for a team near where I live :)
     
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  10. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Cheers :)
    I think you may have misunderstood me aswell haha ;) I'm not a nice guy who tries to get sex at all.. I'm just nice to people as I'm generally a nice person and a lot of people notice that . I don't know if I do friendzone stuff? What would you class as friend zone stuff? Woowwww ok jeez! I'm not like that at all! I do listen to their problems and try and help them but I'm but no means sleazy! What I do is just chat to them and have a bit of banter .
     
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  11. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot :)
     
  12. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    I'm not saying being nice entitles me to a girlfriend at all! It's just I see people getting girls who are no where near good enough for them and aren't very nice people... And I don't see what people find attractive about being a dick, seems to work maybe I should just be a dick! See where that gets me... I wouldn't want to be like that at all though . I'm fairly shy but can be loud , I'm not going to be something I'm not, and a dick is one thing I'm not going to be to pull girls. I just find it kinda annoying , as people often describe me as kind and funny. And I always make these girls laugh but it just seems like I'm just in the friendzone idk
     
  13. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man :) it's just annoying when I see guys pulling girls who are way out of their league and they're not very nice people... Don't get what they see in them... I'm always kind and make them laugh but it just gets me nowhere
     
  14. Spidey2Dope

    Spidey2Dope Fapstronaut

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    Don't change my friend. You will attract the right kind of girl if you continue being the nice guy and being genuine. There is a quote from a rapper I like called MadChild..."I'm a nice guy but I'm not gonna finish last"!
     
  15. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

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    Listen buddy, being a nice guy to girls is the worst thing you can ever Do in you life. Shit. Girls love bad boys.
     
  16. Knight Solaire

    Knight Solaire Fapstronaut

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    :rolleyes:
     
  17. Knight Solaire

    Knight Solaire Fapstronaut

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    Just as @Spidey2Dope says, you will find someone eventually. I went my whole life, not particularly being the "nice guy", but I never treated anyone badly unless I was treated badly by them.

    I went through many friend zones and bad relationships when I was your age. High school is nothing. Once you get out into the world you will realize just how many people are out there waiting for you. I say to stay yourself. Don't change yourself because a good majority of (immature) women want men who are dicks.

    If you can just hold it out and work through it, I'm sure you will th girl for you one day. I had given up hope, just like you. I blamed the world and the screwed up way society is. Then, I realized, I don't want some robot, run-of-the-mill woman. I want the woman for me. The person to fall in love with.

    I met my love when I was 19 at a LAN party for Halo lol. She was one of two girls there and she was gorgeous. We have been together since then (two years)

    All it takes is some patience and a tad bit of confidence. Don't become friends with a girl you want to have a relationship with. Tell her you are interested in her before someone else does. The main problem I believe you are having @Daviesmark1 is that you are becoming friends without realizing that you may be putting yourself in the friend zone.

    I have been in your position and I know how you feel. It hurts and you want to blame the world, but there are ways around it without having to completely change yourself.
     
  18. Be confident. It's all about your attitude.
     
  19. WarriorSpirit

    WarriorSpirit Fapstronaut

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    And thats where your wrong. A badboy/players attitude/confidence/personallity isn't superficial its how they are just because it isn't what you might see as righteous dosen't make it a superficial personallity. Thats like saying a criminal's personallity is supperficial when it really is how they are. And they are the ones who usually do the heartbreaking and walking away.

    The guys who wear the game like a clown suit when they go out and don't have the game inside of them will find themselves getting shit tested real fast and will wind up being sol when someone who really does have the game inside of them rolls up . Decent men have good hearts yea. Decent men being the guy who just wants to get married have kids grow old and retire and just wanna go to work and come home to his wife and kids yea thats a REAL MAN.

    these Nice guys you see creeping around are plain freaking creepy and what makes them creepy as I said before is the fact that they are only nice to a girl to get sex and thats it. And whats even more creepy and silly is the fact that they think that just because they took a girl out to dinner and bought her all these meals/drinks/clothes that he is entitled to have sex with her. And thats why they do and always will finish last. And of course they will come to the internet and fall into traps like MGTOW or go to silly forums like Sosimp(sosuave) which will only mess them up more in the head.

    And yea your right sooner or later the ''Nice guy'' usually does get to keep the girl for marriage when shes around 28 and the bad boys/players/Real Men(who don't have that weird shy guy thing going on) have already been around the block and she is ready to settle down. Then yes...Yes the nice little cute nice guy will get a few sexual crumbs. But because most of these Nice guys suck in bed(they usually lack confidence which then translates to them lacking sexual confidence) their newly founded wife will always be craving a real man(not necessarily a bad boy) in her life and after 5-6 years of being married to this edgeless Nice Guy who could be likened unto a bowl of warm milk, then she will probally start having an affair in which the Nice guy is probally so squishy that he would probally not even give a damn!

    BUT HEY WHO COULD BLAME HER? IF HER HUSBAND WAS A REAL MAN THEN THIS WOULDA NEVER HAPPENED.

    SORRY NICE GUYS(NOT DECENT MEN) DONT HAVE BIG HEARTS AND HAVE ALWAYS AND WILL ALWAYS FINISH LAST ESPECIALLY IN TODAYS AGE.

    WHY YOU ASK....?

    BECAUSE WOMEN AREN'T TOLERATING BAD SEX ANYMORE.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 5, 2015
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  20. WarriorSpirit

    WarriorSpirit Fapstronaut

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    But hey guy you go unnoticed because you don't vibrate at a high enough level, women don't even see you. You lack confidence and the appearance/swagger of a real man. Once you start working on yourself from the inside and dressing better you will get noticed as a woman can and will notice a confident male. not that fake steroid arrogance but real confidence. Start lifting weights or join a sport get some bigger arms. do things that will increase your testosterone level and your masculine energy and keep nothing but positive thoughts in your head and youll notice a difference. hell watch motivational speeches/seminars every morning when you wake up and youll notice a difference.

    A good one that you can find on youtube is called We are what we think by nightingale
     

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