Why do other people care.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Fractured Mindset, Nov 20, 2019.

  1. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    For most of the four years at my old workplace, the guys there would always give me a hard time about not having a girlfriend. It only got worse after I was sexually harassed by an autistic woman twice my age. I did the best I could to stand up for myself, but that was one of the things that made my job way harder than it needed to be.
    Strangely, I didn't see many improvements until (of my own accord) I tried to get a girlfriend, and then mostly stopped after my rejection.

    So I ask, why would other guys, some around my age, others twice my age care that I've never been in a relationship? So far at my new workplace, no one's even asked me about my status.
     
    Hold it in likes this.
  2. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

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    If someone laughs at you it means he tries to move his inner pain onto you. Hes crippled as well and wants ti hide his issues.
     
  3. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    EXACTLY!!!!! Perfect answer.

    Pity these folks that give you a hard time and move on to improve yourself. Encourage others when you get the chance. Be a good guy that builds up yourself and others.
     
    WanderTruth likes this.
  4. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    This reminds me of a guy I used to work with back in the ‘90’s. He would harass people about everything and was the biggest A-hole I ever met (actually second biggest). He especially enjoyed targeting minorities.

    Turns out away from work he was a hopeless drunkard. Once in a moment of transparency he revealed a bit of his childhood to me that told me he was a hurt and angry man.

    He was divorced and his only child, a daughter, wanted nothing to do with him. He died alone.

    The point here is that many of these a-holes are people that are messed up and going through life angry/miserable and are trying to make others angry and miserable. We can make the choice to not let them have control over us.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2019
    zig likes this.
  5. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    Yep, but it sure isn't easy.
     
    Cool I Can Use Spaces likes this.
  6. johnmicormick

    johnmicormick Fapstronaut

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    Exactly bro, I go to school with a lot of people that like to treat their experience like trophies, rub it in your face, and god forbid they ever find out about any of your won will taunt you. But it’s alright, half that shit is made up. A lot of those mfs can’t even get it up, they might seem charismatic or whatever have a lot of issues, relationships probably don’t last long for them. Keep your head up and find someone you can vibe with, don’t just fall in love with the first woman you meet, and wheel her in a wheelbarrow down the street.
     
    Cool I Can Use Spaces likes this.
  7. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

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    It happens to me all the time at work. "Why don't you have a Girlfriend?" Etc.

    And you know what I say back? "I'd like to know that too!"

    Shuts them right up usually. Why do people do it? I think it's subconsciously done. It's herd mentality, people all want you to be like them. If you're the different colored crayon in the box you might be weird, different and ultimately, possibly a threat.

    Thats how I see it anyways. I pay it no mind anymore, people will get the hint eventually, and will answer their own question
     
  8. glasgow

    glasgow Fapstronaut

    They don't care, they don't care about your situation nor you. And you shouldn't care about them either.

    They give you shit about not having a girlfriend because they need an excuse to feel superior, yeah... you were their target, their ego-booster. But no, they don't care about you, they just care about themselves.

    What do you need to do? Just do not give them the attention. Be firm when they ask you things you do not want to answer:

    Them: "Hey man, when was the last time you got laid?"
    You: "Why? Do you want to know how is to have sex, kiddo? I don't have time to give you the talk"

    That worked for me in my loner days and gave me some laughs (and enemies). Delightful.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2019
  9. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    I'd always get told it's because I don't try.
     
  10. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

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    Do other people's opinions matter to you if you try or not? I know it can be a bummer when people gang up on you at work about shit but you really have to either stand up for yourself and tell them it's none of their business, or if they continue to harass you about it, go to your Human Resources department and make a complaint. Nobody deserves to be harassed in the work place
     
  11. IAmLegion

    IAmLegion Fapstronaut

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    When anyone asks me why I don't have a gf, all I do is gesture around me and say:
    "What a fine range of choices I have, don't I?".

    The girls shut up instantly.
    The guys laugh and feel insecure about their own gf's.

    It's actually not my real reason for being single, but it's an answer that works very well.
     
  12. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    I did eventually learn to stand up for myself but it didn't help much. I remember complaining to the boss about a different issue once- while I forget what he said exactly but he said it was more immature than anything. Also, I had been responsible for much harassment against other people as well. While I wasn't as bad as the others were, there's no excuse for what I still did.

    ALSO... when I got sexually harassed, I didn't dare tell management because I thought I'd get picked on by them as well (but in hindsight, they probably would have done something).
    And... numerous times in the past me and other people tried going to the union about other issues.
    we tried multiple times to get the union to stop the managers from telling us we couldn't go to lunch until we got an entire trailer done, but nothing would ever happen.
    The woman who sexually harassed me once ratted out the most notorious lunch denier to the union right after it happened, and that manager got suspended for a day. right when the manager came back, she started chewing her out for what she did (I didn't see this, only heard it second hand).

    Sometimes, I wonder why I never just quit.
     
  13. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    I once peeved a coworker by saying I wouldn't go out with a girl because I didn't know anything about her.

    his response (my best approximation anyways)
    "can't go out with a girl because he doesn't know anything about her. that's the worst excuse I've ever heard. a girl is just a piece of butt."
     
    IAmLegion likes this.

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