Why do so many porn addicts fail so much in NoFap?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by FeelTheThunder, Nov 27, 2019.

  1. FeelTheThunder

    FeelTheThunder Fapstronaut

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    So I'm honestly amazed at the response I get for creating threads that are kinda controversial and not for everyone.
    Here are my opinions:
    I made a mistake on considering that there are people with 5+ years of addiction.
    I usually post in the Under 20 forum so I forgot to consider others. My bad. I apologize

    I also got enlightened by a lot of factors which this PMO thing depends.
    I also related to a few factors which caused my relapse in my previous streak.
    Good Luck to everyone going through hard times. I know 2019 has been a life changer for most of you all. We all (most people) went through hard times in 2019, We all went through hard times which may be personal and stuff. Let's just keep going on one day in the hopes of achieving our goals.
    All the best to everyone.
    Peace.
     
    goodnice 2.0 and cr7da8055 like this.
  2. rideronastorm

    rideronastorm Fapstronaut

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    I'd like to say this about willpower: anyone who believes he can quit an addiction on willpower alone is going to have a rude awakening the day he relapses. "Quitting" and addiction is abstaining yourself from going back to the addictive substance or behavior for the rest of your life. Saying that you will be able to prevent yourself from relapsing based on willpower alone is like saying that you are certain that your willpower will never falter for the remainder of your lifetime. No one can say this.

    Also, don't fool yourself into thinking that 200 days without porn is an indicator that you have managed to quit for good. It is not. 200 days in the process of overcoming an addiction is nothing. Don't get cocky about it. I once relapsed after 6 years of being a non smoker because I thought that just one cigarette wouldn't hurt. In less than a month I was back to smoking a pack a day. During my second recovery I've met a guy who went back to smoking 17 years after what he believed was his last cigarette. There are documented cases of former addicts who went back to their addiction after 20 years sober.

    No one can say with absolute certainty that they will never relapse. That is why any doctor who deals with addictions will tell you that there is no true cure for addiction. However, it is possible to live the rest of your life without a relapse. Many people did it. But don't ever fool yourself into thinking that you are rid of your addiction for good. That will be your demise.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2019
  3. FeelTheThunder

    FeelTheThunder Fapstronaut

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    Agree with that mate.
    I'm not cocky (just an experiment to see if i get better responses over topics like these XD)
    ANYWAY NOVEMBER IS OVER
    DDD HERE I COME
     
    cr7da8055 likes this.
  4. The way I am

    The way I am Fapstronaut

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    Are you trying to be kind while imposing your thoughts? Have a much stronger willpower? As far as I am concerned, There is nothing much willpower can solve here. And is that equal to 10 or more addict's mind to recover when compared to only 6 months or a year addict's mind? I cannot even call this an addiction. That's ridiculous.

    Well, good on you for your streaks and achievements. But just bear in mind people are trying to recover from deep and intense use, abuse of pornography would you mind not to demoralise them?
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  5. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    Nice post, that really is what it comes down to. Reminds me of a video I watched on youtube. A man became addicted to morphine while in the hospital, but he was going to college with friends, and had a very supportive church and family. This was so powerful that the thought of returning to the substance never crossed his mind. Many people are living unhappy lives, for whatever reason, before they become addicted to something, whatever it may be. Porn isn't our problem, it's our solution. Of course porn use comes with it's own negative side affects, but even if you succeed at nofap for two years, if you hated life before, there is a good chance you will hate it afterwards, unless you make an effort to change it.
     
  6. TheAbyss

    TheAbyss Fapstronaut

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    Great post, man!
     
    DerSchütze likes this.
  7. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Yeah, thanks for sharing that. It reminds me of Rat Park.
    (How did I forget about this...?)

    Rat Park is an experiment on addiction conducted in the 70's by a Canadian researcher, Bruce K. Alexander, to test how an environment can relate to addiction. He made 2 environments for his rats.

    One environment socially isolated the rats by placing them in individual cages, let's call this Rat Hell. The other environment, Rat Park, had lots of open space and toys for the rats to enjoy where they were free to do whatever they wanted, including having sex with other rats. Both environments had two water bottles. One water bottle was filled with water, the other was laced with morphine.

    Alexander found that rats who spent their lives in Rat Hell far preferred the morphine-water over the plain-water. From what I've read, some of the rats even overdosed. The rats in Rat Park seemed to have resilience against the morphine-water and preferred the plain-water. They'd sometimes drink it, but not much and not often. None of the rats in Rat Park overdosed.

    I just saw that Vice has taken this experiment and made it into a documentary of sorts.


    Knowing these perspectives of reality helped me formulate my way out of PMO-addiction. I could fight and struggle against my desires to no end. What I needed was to change how I felt about and saw life, and then through that internal shift I could change how I was able to live. Before I could find connection and meaning, I needed to believe I could have these things. I needed to believe I was someone who could be loved and accepted. So long as I believed I was worthless and shameful, I couldn't take the steps to find my way out of isolation into Letter-Park :)

    Yeah man, this stuff is more than anecdotal...
     
  8. Priceless

    Priceless Fapstronaut

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    Then reason is because a lot of guys don't have a strong valid reason to quit.
     
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  9. e123

    e123 Fapstronaut

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    I just wanted to say that this has turned into one of the bests threads I've read on nofap. Thanks for the contributions, guys.
     
    TheAbyss and FeelTheThunder like this.
  10. FeelTheThunder

    FeelTheThunder Fapstronaut

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    Yea man i'm honestly gonna do more threads like this.
    Like i never got such response in any journals or any tips tricks threads i did.
    Totally loving the response
    and I get to learn more :D I Can still grow so i'm happy
     
    DerSchütze likes this.
  11. rideronastorm

    rideronastorm Fapstronaut

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    That is utter nonsense. An alcoholic with cirrhosis or a smoker with lung cancer don't have a valid reason to quit? How many people in this situation continue to drink and smoke? How many people have their physical and psychological lives in shambles and don't manage to quit? Wanting to quit and not being able to is the definition of addiction itself and the drama that millions of addicts worldwide live everyday: they want to quit but they just aren't able to.
     
  12. byker

    byker Fapstronaut

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    Great thread and important for me cos I'm back after a replase.

    I have a few thoughts. The main one being anyone who is saying it is harder for them because of time being adddicted, circumstances etc is just making excuses for their addiction which is not helping them and making it easier for them to replase.

    A few people were talking about quitting smoking. I quit 8 years ago after smoking 40 a day for 34 years. I did it cold turkey and just willpowered my way through it. I must have tried to quit over 50 times during those 34 years, usually with the help of nicotiene substitutes. i'd have my 3 - 6 month free of cigarettes and always relapse.

    In the end I also quit my trigger for smoking (smoking grass with a few beers) for good and quit drinking until there was no longer a link between beer and cigarettes.

    The reason I have not relapsed is because I never want to go through the hell of quitting smoking again. I hope that story proves that no matter how long you are addicted to anything you can do it.

    For me, giving up porn is harder but still doable.

    Coming here after a relapse is damn hard cos I have to admit that I failed again.

    My plan and advice is

    1. No more excuses for my porn like im stressed, I've been addicted too long.

    2. Search for the triggers that cause you to look at porn and eliminate them or replace the action the triggers cause with something else.

    I saw an article online about why porn destroys your will power

    https://www.covenanteyes.com/2014/02/28/hypofrontality/
     
  13. Priceless

    Priceless Fapstronaut

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    what's utter nonsense is your post. You have to have a good reason to quit or it's not gonna happen. If you're still an addict you don't want to stop enough. It really is that simple.

    What you posted is loser talk.

    If I put a gun to a smokers child head and said if you smoke again I'm gonna kill them, I bet they would stop.
     
  14. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

    It all depends on what you consider a success. In my case, I've been addicted (not being aware of it) to M since I was 13, to P since maybe 15 or so. Now I'm 44, so ... do the math. In the last 15 years or so of my life, I've tried to quit and failed. 4 years ago I had my first small achievement ... 2 months without PM. Later I got to 3 months and ... in my third try I even got to 5 fucking months of fucking freedom. Yes, then I relapsed. Did I fail? Nope, since my last try .... my addiction has changed completely for the better. Now I can't spend more than 30 min "per session" ...it's like my brain says "you have lots of things to do ... enough of wasting your time". Some days I fap more than once, but usually I do it only once and I even have days without it. I feel I'm nearer to the 100% freedom of this shit ... but it's hard to get rid of it when this shit has been carved into your neuronal pathways for decades.

    I don't really mind if I also fail this time again .... I'm not the same person that I was when I started trying to quit ... and that ... believe me ... is a fucking humongous success in my life and I'm super proud of myself.
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  15. goodnice 2.0

    goodnice 2.0 Fapstronaut

    Emphatic YES. You gotta be all in
     
  16. goodnice 2.0

    goodnice 2.0 Fapstronaut

    that’s good but in addition to you becoming more and more in charge, it could also be that you are getting older and older. At 44, your libido is way down compare to when you were 20. You simply can’t afford to be relapsing 3 times a day. only teenagers can get away with that for a period of time
     
  17. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

    It's probable, but many of the times I've fapped in my life, I wasn't excited at all before I started, so ... not sure it has anything to do with my libido.

    Well, I did it until I got to 39, so ... I'm completely sure here you're wrong. I'm also sure I will be still doing it if it wasn't because something changed inside me at that age.

    If you're still not convinced, I recommend you to read some journals from older sections and try to find differences with the younger ones.
     
  18. Fighter369

    Fighter369 New Fapstronaut

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  19. Fighter369

    Fighter369 New Fapstronaut

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    Everyone who is on nofap is strong... counting day does not matter, one accidentally setback will not destroy all progression...
    congratulations you have overcome came this but if want to motivate others encourage think positive, you should think positive about them others.., I respect everyone on nofap, because they are working towards greater good
     
    engelman likes this.
  20. StonePlacidity

    StonePlacidity Fapstronaut

    they just ain't dedicated. This is why only a minority of people succeed in life, are rich, do not PMO, are respected by the public
     

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