Why do Veteran Journals get little attention?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Squeaky Soul, Nov 7, 2015.

  1. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

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    I've had mine for a few months...

    I've now abstained from PMO for six months. I've noticed whenever I write in my journal, rarely anyone will respond.

    While, another person, who can not abstain for very long, gets a lot of attention.

    Shouldn't we all support each other, regardless of our streak lengths?

    Yes, the new guys struggling need a lot of support, but I need support too. Even at six months, it can be a real tough battle sometimes.

    I suppose people assume that I don't need any help because I've gone a long time from flogging the dolphin?

    What do you think? Thanks for reading.

    -Squeaky Soul
     
  2. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Well, it is certainly not personal @Squeaky Soul because you are one of the 'good guys' here. You have shown outstanding commitment to the challenge for the last couple of years and you are friendly and helpful in your interactions. The answer would appear to be complacency and I am as guilty as anyone. There are those established members, like yourself which I follow avidly, yet there are others (with streaks similar and longer than yours) whose journals I never read. I have nothing against these other guys, but I cannot support everybody, so I concentrate on a select few. I am proud and privileged to include you among the few people I follow avidly. Don't lose heart my friend. :)
     
  3. DisciplineYourMind

    DisciplineYourMind Fapstronaut

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    I think it's just because people like to encourage the "new guys", and see the veterans as people that don't need as much encouragement. That may not be true, but I think it's only natural. Besides, it's always nice to encourage those just starting out to boost morale. The more veterans the better, right?
     
  4. Personally I think people will respond to journals that don't intimidate them so to speak.

    If they see a person on some next level NoFap progress like you are, they simply may feel they don't have anything to contribute to your journal like helpful advice, because your journal may be helpful advice for them?

    My 2 cents.

    Btw I will check out the journal, 6 months well done mate!
     
  5. nfprogress

    nfprogress Fapstronaut

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    I enjoy reading longer veteran journals. Having said that there is a sort of tldr effect that is hard to escape. When I look around for journals, it is easy to read a 5-10 page journal and then respond if you have something helpful to add (then watch thread to keep up). However, when a journal reaches a higher page count, the story changes. Logically, it would be very easy to read 10 very long journals, but when you do the math and consider that we have 100's or 1000's of such longer journals, it becomes a logistics problem of wanting to read so many journals in limited time.
     
    Loverofwife likes this.
  6. slipher

    slipher Fapstronaut

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    I personally think that its connected to the readers needs.

    an example:
    I just startet with noFap (day 14)

    So ive read a lot of journals to inform myself about the very first moments of rebooting.
    So obviously i looked into the ones from people who started alongside with me.

    Then there are other veterans who might enjoy readings of fellow other veterans because they can relate better.

    As a matter of fact, the mass of newcomers is like 10 times higher than the veterans..
    as a conclusion i guess its classic supply and demand behavior.
     
    ekoluomu likes this.
  7. Mrbond

    Mrbond Fapstronaut

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    Yeah nobody has replied me either but oh well.. I am on day 10 now and trying to push harder
     
  8. Kiddy

    Kiddy Fapstronaut

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    OMG, I have been struggling with this point too. People have just stopped commenting. At first I felt abandoned, like noone cared about me anymore because I didn't have any dirty stories to share. Then I realized that I have also stopped commenting on other people's posts. Kkkkk. Doy! In fact I have been spending much less time on Nofap recently. So I decided to start giving more attention to Nofap. I think it's healthy to just stop caring whether people comment on your thread. If you want attention just comment the fuck out of other people's threads. That will also increase the chances of them looking at your journal.
     
    iborntobefree and Loverofwife like this.
  9. MewtwoHidden

    MewtwoHidden Fapstronaut

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    I don't get any comments either.
     
  10. diesel2256

    diesel2256 Fapstronaut

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    I thought that journals were for the writer's benefit, not the reader's?
     
  11. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

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    Well, yes, but my complaint at first was, I'd ask a question in my journal... and never get a response.

    I learned, if you want a question answered, just start a new thread.
     
  12. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    Hi Squeaky! In the past I experienced the same, as I began with a group of people in 2014 and then for some reason or the other, they started leaving NoFap. Then I was just writing my thoughts for myself and no one seemed to read them. I've felt that when no one reads you, the act of journaling loses its power. I agree with the previous answers: sometimes newbies feel more comfortable beginning along with others; sometimes there're just too many journals to follow. A good way is to start commenting in other people's journals (as it was previously mentioned), although you don't have any guarantees. I'm greatful to have found a great group of guys, @ronswanson, @Loverofwife, @Toven. We read each other and support each other. How did we form the group? One of them started writing on my journal, then I started reading and posting there and I started following the people who were also commenting there. But those guys could be somewhere else, or we could have a different timing.

    Since the site renewal, you have the tag function, which is a good way to call the attention of certain users if you need help or just support with something.

    When I returned after my relapse after 336 days, I was very glad to see you both and @IGY still here as active members. :)

     
    Loverofwife likes this.
  13. ronswanson

    ronswanson Fapstronaut

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    Hey Squeaky Soul

    Honestly, I would love to get more involved in the journals of the real veterans like you, but I am intimidated by you! I see your whopping great streak, and I think about how much longer you're been doing this than me, and I think "what could I possibly add? What knowledge have I got that he hasn't already learned? Why would my encouragement matter? My streak pales in comparison to his" and other self-defeating thoughts. I guess I should try to be a little braver!

    I feel very lucky that galaxim started commenting on my journal, because he has been going a lot longer than me, and he has already gone through many of the things I'm going through now. His advice and companionship is invaluable to me. If you were to start commenting on my journal I would be thrilled - your experience would be extremely welcome.
     
    ekoluomu, galaxim and Loverofwife like this.
  14. Earnest Lee

    Earnest Lee Fapstronaut

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    I tend to read discussion forums more than personal journals now that I've been on the site for a while, precisely because the likelihood of being responded to is greater. I wish there were live chat-rooms on this site. I don't even know how to "follow" threads- after I post this, I don't even know if I'll even be able to find what I wrote again. (I'm not very savvy with navigating forums)
    I've been on the site for more than a year now, and after I found an accountability partner, most of the time I spend on this site is checking in with him. I stopped writing in my journal and opted to communicate mostly with my a.p. because that way I knew at least one person was responding! I also said something on one of the forums that was misunderstood, I felt like a jerk and accordingly laid low. It was a little difficult finding someone who checked in on the site on about the same schedule as me (once a week or every other) there were a few false starts with guys who ended up not staying on the site.
    I reset whenever I MO- but haven't PMO'd since September 27th. I think 55 days? I need to update so I have a dual counter, but haven't gotten around to it.
    The best strategy for interaction I think is commenting on other threads- (like how I'm trying to do now). I'm glad you're still on the site- I remember you from when I joined up.
     
    galaxim likes this.
  15. There are 52000 registered users here. Most of those nicks are very likely completely inactive. Many of the ~relatively~ active ones just lurk here and maybe occasionally post a question in the Reboot-section or something like that. Also, many of the active users only/mainly come here to update their own journals, I've noticed, for accountability's sake. Then comes the interactive, active users that participate on numerous conversations and e.g. post on other users' journals. But in the end there aren't that many of them, so it's not a surprise if someone's journal doesn't get as much attention as some other.
     
    Loverofwife and galaxim like this.
  16. ronswanson

    ronswanson Fapstronaut

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    I was thinking more about this, and I wondered whether it might be good to create a "veterans" group thread, or possibly even a subforum, and invite all the people who have long streaks to contribute: success stories or struggles that are specific to those who have been PMO free for a long time. It might turn out to be a useful resource for those of us who have been here a long time who are missing that daily interaction that the newbies get. What do you think? I would certainly be a regular reader.
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2015
  17. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    We can give it a try. Altough rather than creating a group (which don't have a good interface), perhaps it's better to create a thread and tag several users.

    We should establish some rules to post, something along these lines "altough everyone is welcome, this thread is to adress the challenges of people who have crossed the critical period of their recovery". As most of the threads are "newbie" oriented, it would be good to have a single one to group all the long timers that are still active.

     
    ronswanson likes this.
  18. NetherRey

    NetherRey Guest

    I encountered this problem too. Well not really experienced it but read it in another thread.

    I get your point too. Once you start living here longer and longer you lose the support you need. But I guess the comments don't matter that much because I think the purpose of journaling is to get your thoughts out here whether they be positive or negative. It helps to loosen up a bit and maybe a sense that somehow somewhere someone is reading your journal and maybe they are motivated to do like you did. But they did not comment or anything because they feel like they are needed because you already had everything you needed. My opinion's a bit raw but you get my point right?
     

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