why do women ignore the emotional wants of men

Well,mature girls don't do like this.Try not to make relationships with these girls,or maybe you can teach her about this thing.I'm sure she will understand.
-P.S-In my country,there's no mature girl.

 

Everyone has good days and bad days, but men are meant to be mentally stronger and more indipendent than women and so if a man become excessively insecure/emotional a woman might find it a sign he is mentally weak and vulnerable. Men are made to protect and women are meant to be protected.

 

India,@anon

 

This isn't my experience of relationships at all.

I can be vulnerable or I can be tough, all depending on the circumstances - I've never let this be an obstacle and if a woman has unrealistic expectations of me, well she can go and do one.

 

I would say women would want a mentally strong and stable man, we obviously have a very hard time fighting porn while other men just live with it, most of those men don't even get girls anyway. If you're emotional a women should be there for you anyway.

Just like us men, not all women are the same.

 

It is my experience that if your partner is criticizing you, that's a problem in and of itself. It was a while before I got into a relationship with a girl whose entire viewpoint is to constantly subject herself to discernment, instead of critiquing people around her. Selflessness is absolutely important for a good, strong relationship; selfishness drives wedges between people every time.

It's true, men are designed to compartmentalize and be stronger emotionally, but women have a more empathic heart than we do. We're never to be in competition with our spouses like that, though. I was designed to complement my wife and vice versa. I'll never criticize who she is, because attacking someone's identity is bad enough, but you're most vulnerable with your significant other. Whether you're a guy or gal, your SO has to take that responsibility seriously. Men need emotional tending, too.

 

One of the major reasons men have a hard time dealing with pornography is because it plays off of a healthy, true, and powerful part of us - the love and pursuit of a mate. The actress on screen plays that role for a few minutes, albeit in a very limited way. Think about it, and I'm sure you'll find that a lot of the emotions and desires you have when you're looking at porn stem from a very pure and noble source - the desire to love, pursue, and be loved by a woman. Makes it REALLY easy for us to fall victim to it.

 

I think it comes back to basic programming see back in the day men were the protectors and were supposed to be the rock for women. So the women were supposed to be the damsel in distress and the guys were this rock for them to lean on. See that actually damages guys I think to feel that they have to always be this rock because we can't there are times when things break down and the weight of life comes down on us. I actually feel relationships are starting to turn to a 50 50 thing but it really comes down to having a mutually genuine relationship between the girl and the guy.

See I'm not saying that you should take the role of the girl and be super emotional but when life comes down on you its ok to vent and to talk to her about it and to show her that your human. This idea of us just being able to do the job whatever the cost is impossible. I mean were not machines were human. So I think maybe its not enough communication. If the girl can't sometimes take the weight of your failures and losses than maybe its not a good fit because relationship is about give and take not just take take take it doesn't work. My friends last girlfriend was like that and it was very destructive.

 

I agree. In some cases, the man must be able to relent and break down and the woman must be strong, though these situations are usually exceptions to the rule. A perfect example of one such exception is the idea that, to the rest of the world, we men are invincible warriors, but our most sensitive, vulnerable part of us - our hearts - must be kept safe. The women in our lives must remain respectful, compassionate, and loving with our hearts; to do otherwise is to abuse the precious responsibility we've given them.

I'm glad to have my current girlfriend. You'll never find a more understanding, selfless girl, or one as patient and kind. It is with her that I can let down the shields and truly have an open heart - with everyone else, it is important to keep them at arms length, with shields raised. No one else truly gets access to my heart. Eventually, I may have children, but even they won't have full access to that - at least, not in the same way.

 

Not all of us do.

Some of us try extremely hard to be supportive. I am always there for my husband for whatever he needs, including his emotional needs. He is on this forum, too, so you could ask him if I am or not.

 

I am single, i've had relationships in the past. I have learnt a lot from them, a lot about girls, a lot about me, a lot about my own weakness and strength. And i am proud that now i am an improved version of my own self. So i will giving my best persona to my next gf, god knows though who will be the lucky one?
Now when i am 25 i am looking for a stable relationship to a girl to whom i would marry.

Now on this topic, All girls are different, there is NO universal Rule that you can apply on ALL GIRLS. At least my own experience says that. So it's better to make your Own Rule to deal with all girls. Ignore 1 Night Stand or kind of Relationships which are more based on physical needs, it will never give you fulfilment. Only a Stable relationships with a QUALITY GIRL will satisfy your all needs (emotional, mental, physical, social etc).

@annon2314 TO be more specific on your topic, Just disregard the fact what Girl Wants or what girl not wants? What they expect from you?..its nothing wrong to be emotional at times. Man is also a human with a pumping heart and emotional needs. If someone find it wrong than its their problem. So without bothering about them you just be yourself. You can't be a emotionless robot just to satisfy them. Can you? Yes, being a man it's good to be more emotionally stable, because if you are not than you will not be able to handle her at times, because women are more vulnerable.

My Rules with Girls : I have set some standards for myself, i won't allow a girl to be more than friends when she doesn't qualify those standards. The standards are nothing but some personality qualities which i admire in a woman. So it saves my time and doesn't make me needy or desperate who try on every other girl. And Most importantly it immensely help me in my Self Development Journey. Nofap is just a small portion of this Self Development journey, there's lot to do. Miles to go.

 

It's a weird patriarchal fantasy that encourages girls to act like attention-hungry babies, ignoring the feelings of everyone else. Those girls who buy into it wholesale are either spoiled or off in la-la land. And woe betide the home in which the mother acts like this! Can you imagine? My point is, seek out women who act like mature adults; they're out there. They're probably reading a book in a quiet corner, or working on a cherished hobby, not laughing too loudly in groups while wearing glitter. You have to make an effort to find mature women, but if you're a good friend to them, they'll be very good friends to you.

 

I don't really see how that's patriarchal. Are you saying that it's because men have encouraged or wanted this in women? Or that it's essentially a perverted perspective in which women regard their men as father figures? I know that no man fantasizes about a selfish woman, as that selfishness tends to be the biggest problem in a mate.

I tend to think it's caused by lack of good parenting. The parents are the ones who teach their sons and daughters how to be good men and women, after all. Hell, with actual good parenting, most of us would never have gotten sucked into pornography when we were younger and would have had the tools to avoid it when we grew to adulthood. Parenting is important.

 

The fantasy goes like this - males are for working hard, protecting others and being strong, females are for being provided for, protected and pretty. The twist is that reciprocity is forgotten. I know no man fantasizes about a selfish mate, but I know several who overprotect and overindulge their daughters, even while raising their sons to be responsible. The result, when unchecked? A lazy female who's only good for looking hot and spending money. You're right that it's a matter of parenting. There needs to be balance and sanity in how boys and girls are raised. In the cases I know, mom probably could have cut down the spoiling a bit, but she didn't feel she had the authority to, because dad was in charge, patriarchy. No joke.

I know this is a bit of a tangent, but there you go.

 

I recommend "Wild at Heart" for a good look at the heart of men (see here for more quotes from the book):

“Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.”


And for women, the excellent counterpart book is "Captivating" (more quotes here):

“We think you'll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive.”


Honestly? Society has it wrong, the culture has it wrong, the old chauvinist era has it wrong, the modern feminist movement has it way wrong. Men and women are designed to be counterparts to each other, and both need to be uplifted and valued.

 

Also, I tend to have a very... embittered viewpoint about most women, Kedvesem. I'm aware that there are exceptional women out there, but they do not really make much of an impact (and perhaps they should) when compared to the self-centered, emotionally-draining, acid-lobbing bitches out there. I've got my share of scars that, in hindsight, I never should have subjected myself to, but I'm more angry about the abuse that men go through from these stuck-up, selfish little prissy brats that are supposed to be women.

 

not every woman understands emotions of men.you need to leave her alone...

 

I am very sorry about that, Weiland. Actually, these unpleasant women (I do try to be ladylike, even when they are not), are as much the enemies of decent women as they are of men. They besmirch our reputations, and the fact that these ... women are more likely to be the "easy" ones makes it harder for those of us trying to be chaste.

For me, it is a moot point now, as I have my own darling husband, and I am not (nor ever will be again!) "on the market". As the mother of daughters, however, it distresses me for my daughters' sakes to see the women who will abuse men and make it harder for my daughters to find good mates. As the mother of a son, I shudder.