Why do you relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Daxos, Aug 9, 2019.

  1. Daxos

    Daxos Fapstronaut

    My brothers,

    I have been on the NoFap boat for approximately 2,5 years. I have been through a lot. Suffered a lot. Won a lot, and then lost it all again. I have learnt much about NoFap and all that makes our addictions. I recently finally figured out why I relapsed all those hundreds of times. This might very well be the same case for you, especially if you are also suffering from PIED like me and many others. So read along and reflect.

    For months I was afraid that maybe PMO was not causing my ED, but something organic or whatever. This fear caused me to relapse. Relapsing gave a sense of feeling of still being able to express myself sexually, since I was afraid to death that there was something wrong with my tool that I might never be able to express myself sexually again if I were to do NoFap for life.

    This fear, coupled with the fact that our brains would rather stick with the devil it knows, than to improve but having to change in order to do that, makes it so that relapsing often times when you are triggered may seem like your best option. I fell for this deceiving option so many times...

    But this option that I choose, the option of fear, is one that is destroying me and making me lose myself. I know finally see this. Relapsing was never really because of cravings or urges, because I had multiple good streaks where I resisted them, but the relapses were always because of fear. Fear made me want to go back to a place of comfort and a place where all was good and familiar. That place was porn. Porn has been infecting my emotional system for far too long now.

    so how do we fix relapsing by fear? I do not know for sure. But I now know what is triggering my feeling of relapsing and that knowledge gives me power. I once experimented with the idea that you tell yourself every single time something goes wrong that all will be OK. When you catch yourself wondering, struggling, doubting and whatever about the NoFap healing process, tell yourself that you will be OK. Whatever our demons throw at us, we will be OK.

    NoFap is by far the hardest thing I have ever tried. And that comes from a guy who is in the military. NoFap separates us from the rest. The ones who complete NoFap have achieved true greatness. Pursue that greatness my brothers.
  2. DeepParkWater

    DeepParkWater Fapstronaut

    Urges from the PA, not having regular sex. Not getting laid on the reg is such a struggle. Great in certain ways but for me i was used to having sex for the past 3 years.
    Will say going to P is a negative cascade in that it kills motivation for real sex. Your insight on fear is interesting, but the struggle to battle instant gratification is real
    Daxos likes this.
  3. LeHso

    LeHso Fapstronaut

    I used to relapse because of fear, anger and running away from reality.
    Daxos likes this.
  4. Daxos

    Daxos Fapstronaut

    Like so many. Did your PMO habit and relapsing change after you figured out this was the reason behind relapses?
  5. LeHso

    LeHso Fapstronaut

    Yes, of course, knowing the reasons for relapse will help you control them.

    Whenever I feel fear or unwanted reality, I know that I should live with it and figure out corrective actions.

    Not running away and relapse.
    Reborn16 and Daxos like this.
  6. When I am weak and do not care about consequences, I relapse. Even when I know I will be back at the beginning, and realize I made a mistake.
    I need to grow up :mad:
  7. im’possible

    im’possible Fapstronaut

    I quit driking sodas for 5 years, I stop playing video games for 6 months, but PMO was never completely. I was alone.

    So this time I surround myself with battle buddys (APs) and having a easy time so far.

    It looks like to quit PMO, I need people more than just a will of myself.

    And that's not the only purpose for me to be here. I want to get my life ASAP.
    Reborn16 likes this.
  8. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    I notice a pattern, when I turn down social opportunities (invite to something, saying hi to a girl that I like, talking with family).

    If I miss too many social things, I sometimes believe the bullsh*t story my mind comes up with. "I'm a loser".

    Right now I'm thinking the only way forward is to accept anxiety and take opportunities head on, make the most of real-life situations. I sometimes do this, and when I do the thought of relapsing is non-existent.
  9. Mistakesweremade

    Mistakesweremade Fapstronaut

    It's quite simple why I relapse instead of that long explanation. When I am about a week in the urges become greater than my want to go on nofap. It never had much to do with fear. The only fear I get is the fear of missing out on pretty women. I am simply a compulsive person who constantly give in to my desires. It's only after I overmasturbate and get a temp impotence is when I can say to myself I will quit pmo. As soon as my sex drive goes back to normal levels I am back to my old self again.
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2019
  10. shamrock19

    shamrock19 Fapstronaut

    i relapsed previously as my withdrawals symptoms begin to clear and i start to feel 'normal' again. As soon as this happens my guard goes down and bam, i relapse...

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