Why do you still fap?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Walton, Jul 19, 2018.

  1. Walton

    Walton Fapstronaut

    I guess most people here want to succeed in NoFap. But still many people keep on relapsing. When you know PMO does no good for you, why do you still gap?

    I have obvious reasons why I should stop with PMO. It promotes a wrong mindset in which it's OK to waste time for a short sexual pleasure you haven't earned. Instead I should be doing something useful. If it helped to get laid, great. If not, then I could at least proudly say I've done something productive. If I fap, I have achieved nothing, I've just fed a harmful addiction.

    But sometimes it's so damn hard to remember that. I tend to relapse when I'm frustrated. I mean, in those moments when I don't know what I want from my life (NoFap has challenged me to set goals in my life), or when my goals feel like they're out of reach.

    I need to learn to embrace the struggle, knowing the success is there if I stay tough and make the right choices. I need to remember that in both good and bad moments.
  2. Bubbles

    Bubbles Fapstronaut

    Why do i? It's not logical. But sometimes I can't think right for some reason :(
    420blaze420 and slitebg like this.
  3. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

    Life is what causes me to relapse. When I’m having a lot of luck and things are positive and going well. Then I’m unlikely to relapse. For example if I’m trying to date and I’m using apps or doing approaches. Then I choose to believe that I will meet someone eventually. So relapsing would only give me PIED which would be a problem when it comes to sex. I learnt this the hard way once. When I had PIED and I was binging over porn and trying to date at the same time.

    I did eventually meet a girl which lead to sex but I was just totally numb! I couldn’t get it up! I lied and told the girl it was work stress and alcohol. She probably thought I was not attracted to her... It was weird and awkward. So after that experience I will never try to date a girl during a reboot to avoid these problems...

    I find that it’s very easy to relapse when you have a lot of problems in your life. I have attempted to reboot 10 times this year already! I kept relapsing and binging to porn. It’s because I’m at the lowest I have ever been and this could be the worst year of my life. Unemployed struggling to get a job. Anxiety, high stress, health problems in addition to the PIED. Barely a social life, no dating life. I could go on and on but you get it. It’s just all negativity.

    So part of me just wanted to give up on this year. Give into the porn and just binge. And hope for better luck next year... Every day is a struggle I haven’t relapsed yet but everytime I get another negative experience. Like a job rejection, or my mum causing me to doubt that I will ever get a job. Or comparing me to other people and saying that I should already have my own family by now. It just pisses me off makes me feel worthless and I start thinking about the porn for comfort again...

    I had a few chances to go on dates with girls this year... But because I’m unemployed and I’m trying to do this reboot I held back. I just find it hard to believe that anyone is going to accept me while I’m in this rut... So the conversations died and I didn’t meet any of them. This frustration is partly the reason for why I relapsed a lot this year too.
  4. conversion123

    conversion123 Fapstronaut

    I have been all over the map trying ti figure out what got me into this compulsive behavior. I have come up with information that seems to add up. It seems that this addiction' for me started very young " is linked with somekind of emptiness I have in my soul. Even though I go to confession I repeatedly fall back into the same bad behavior. Now though when I relapse I feel guilt and anxiety even dispare. Its gonna be a tough battle. Im married and my wife doesn't know about it. Even if I get control of my compulsive behavior before quitting would be a start. I relapsed hard recently after a stressful situation between me and my wife. Gonna keep getting back up and moving forward.
    Max Fisher and slitebg like this.
  5. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

    Because i'm lonely and in need of a loving relationship that I don't have and probably never will have.
    slitebg likes this.
  6. slitebg

    slitebg Fapstronaut

    Very good question. Lately I'm starting to realize, even though I know all the pits and downfalls of PMO, I still derive some sick pleasure from it. I am not talking pure hormone pleasure here, more like a warped view or perspective. I've come to realize I am not so 'pure' as I once thought, or at least I've let myself become tainted. The only good part is that this inner darkness only really manifests itself in this particular way those fetish-like PMO sessions - so when I shake myself off this those I feel free and light, renewed.

    In a nutshell, for me the question is not only quitting the habit anymore, it's more 'cleansing' my inner feelings towards this whole PMO business. Without achieving this, I am sure I will always relapse eventually..

    It's like that for most of us, brother. We got hooked on this filth so early in our lives it almost becomes our second nature. Add that to the stresses and expectations of the modern lifestyle, the culture of consumerism and overindulgence in sense-pleasures and we are almost doomed to our fate. However, thankfully, God gave us free will. Our newfound awareness of how PMO is ruining us should be the only needed motivation to channel our will and finally break free of this hellish cycle. You even have a wife, something the last poster and I seem to feel is a lifetime away from us! Cherish what you have and don't let childhood habits ruin what you got there!

    I feel for you, man. I also have doubts about that. However, you and I, people like us should learn to be more self-sufficient on not depend so much on others, their attention, affection etc. I realize human beings are social creatures but one reason we are not finding the right partner is that we are always looking, always craving that so we become needy and clingy. Or at least I know I am sometimes. Sorry for the cliche, but never say never. I mean you literally don't know what will happen in the next moment. I realize for people like us for something like that to happen it would be nothing short of a miracle, but hey, weirder stuff have happened :) Main thing is not to despair! Second but still very important - break the PMO cycle. The dopamine rushes/lows we constantly give ourselves cause depression, anxiety, make one more unsociable etc. so PMO itself causes us to be like this. I know that for a fact that even 30 days without that junk can literally change your life. You may even go out and meet someone, who knows ;)
    ANewLeaf, Quiet warrior and Ghost79 like this.
  7. Because I'm weak. I tell myself that I won't do it ever again and yet I do it again and again. I even peeked at some girl's pictures for few minutes today but somehow managed to stop - usually it led to full relapse which I somehow prevented.
    Youssif and Deleted Account like this.
  8. My heart is empty and it can only be repaired with marriage to a great lady.
    Ghost79 and Deleted Account like this.
  9. Read too much TRP and MGTOW stuff + my sisters and mother taught me that unicorns don't exist :(
  10. Well, first off is the addiction, like, just like I have my counter of how many days I've gone off (just relapsed after 30 :\ ), the addiction has its own rhythms. Like a week or so is the time it starts ticking with urges and then it's an uphill battle. Then the thing is that I start fantasizing with the perfect dating situation, which of course would require me to get off my ass and look for the perfect girl which might not even exist. And then the frustration starts to pent up. Add boredom and frustration from other things in life an voilá you have PMO
    Deleted Account and Youssif like this.
  11. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    It's difficult to say 4 me. But i think it's my mind. I don't enjoy it as much as i did previously, and i haven't hated it as much as i loved it. But I'll win for certain.
  12. 420blaze420

    420blaze420 New Fapstronaut

    Relapse usually occurs because of the strong neurological patterns which have emerged due to continuous habitual practice. Every slight cue or trigger that is associated with masturbation immediately sets off a craving for the pleasure reward from jacking off. The behaviour becomes so automatic, it occurs without conscious thought or decision.

    Moreover, the surge of dopamine you get from busting a nut is one of the strongest rewards nature has ever provided. It's supposed to be a reward for reproducing, which is one of the major aims of all living creatures: to pass on their genes to future generations. Unfortunately, this system of reward can be very easily cheated with masturbation, making your brain think that every nut you bust is a child with your genome.

    Although not impossible, getting rid of pornography and masturbation is hard. VERY HARD. It takes a ton of willpower and a fuckload of hard work. As Charles Duhigg explains in his book 'The Power Of Habit', destroying a habit is virtually impossible. The triggers of the habit remain all around you, and your brain still craves the reward. The secret to overcoming your addiction is (drum rolls please): Keep the triggers, deliver the same reward, but CHANGE THE ROUTINE. You can't completely wipe out a neurological path; you have to redirect it towards something useful. Switching towards healthier habits is key when it comes to abstaining from PMO.

    Anyways good luck fellas. Please like this post for me to be able to have a signature (I'm new here).
    mghyper17 likes this.

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