why does everyone have premarital sex

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by goodnice 2.0, Sep 11, 2019.

  1. goodnice 2.0

    goodnice 2.0 Fapstronaut

    Is it the worst thing in the world? No. Is it hard to stay virgin till marriage? Yes

    I want to have discussion about this topic because it seems today’s society’s values are just so BACKWARDS.

    My cousin called me on the phone and was telling me how bad and ashamed and failure he felt since he was still a virgin and never had sex before.

    I says to him that it’s much better to be a virgin than to have promiscuous sex and hookups. I’m defying the norm in western society that says you’re a loser if you are a virgin or if you never had a girlfriend. It’s so so important that people realize the consequences of sex. It’s not just some trivial act; it has tons of complications and it is a big deal, even if you just hook up and forget about it.

    I think having sex with many different ppl is damaging to you and your soul.

    I think treasuring your sexual purity is extremely important. Furthermore i believe the hookup culture and increase in sexual promiscuity and ofc pmo has somewhat contributed to the downfall of our society.

    Some may disagree but i at least want to reach a few people and impress upon them that they are not losers if they are virgins. I also want to hopefully generate a shift in mindset and values of the culture
     
  2. Souvent08

    Souvent08 Fapstronaut

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    It’s hard not to follow what culture says. I’m glad to see that some men are strong enough to value and keep sexual purity. Your future wife will be a lucky woman.
     
  3. goodnice 2.0

    goodnice 2.0 Fapstronaut

    Krishnamuti said "It is not a sign of health to be adapted to a sick society"

    I’ve seen you around before btw, welcome back. Glad to see you, and i’m glad you value sexual purity
     
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  4. Souvent08

    Souvent08 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you! I was away for a while while I kept my self busy with things. Now I have more free time and coming here helps to keep on moving forward. What you say is so true and it’s definitely something that I have been feeling in my life. A lot of times I feel different than my peers. It’s kind of like moving against the current. I’m glad I’m not the only one and your comments give me hope and courage.
     
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  5. Hello Friend

    Hello Friend Fapstronaut

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  6. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    Because people today let others get into their heads and dictate what to do and what to feel and it's mainly the main cause of all the different issues most face today, be it marriage, or job, or kids or anything else.
     
  7. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    I'm with you on this. I've only intercourse 2 times. Both were when I was drunk. One was actually in a strip club in el Salvador. I paid, not my most brilliant moment. There were only 3 other times where I was on top, ready to go but I think the Lord said don't so I got off. One girl who slept around, the first girl I "loved", looked at me and said "you should wait". I was 25.After 2 years or so the drunk one night stand happened. Instant regret, STD fear, all that dumb sex entails. It was basically because that girl broke my heart and I thought hell, forget love, I'm getting some. You don't think until after. I will say after that, around 2002 PMO was big for me. High speed internet..18 years later I saw nofap and was like hmm.. maybe that's why I'm so miserable. So my counter is low only because I've been touching, M, no O. Something big has to happen for P. One thing I will say at 46, time is not on my side anymore where I hope I don't go back to I'm getting some thoughts. The lord is in my life now/again so hopefully I'll have strength.
     
  8. goodnice 2.0

    goodnice 2.0 Fapstronaut

    thank you for sharing
     
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  9. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    Thank you! would like to generate a movement like that aswell!
     
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  10. Washwaverr

    Washwaverr Fapstronaut

    I think you are mostly right but I just want to share my own opinion on this topic.
    I've been virgin since i was 17 y/o which is a lot since most of my friends already had sex at this time and yes i felt ashamed but nobody mocked me for it (mostly), but i can only imagine what it would've been like and what pressure it could put on someone's shoulders. But noone should feel forced into it since it really is a special thing. But there my contradictory nature fails me. As special sex is it still can be fun when you do it with a lot of people especially at young age where you really have that need to explore everything and I don't see anything bad in that I can only see the beauty of exploring someone you
    barely know's body and letting him explore yours too.
    IDK its a personal opinion not disagreement, just wanted to share it.
     
  11. Tiger1

    Tiger1 Fapstronaut

    I'm a proud 27yr old single virgin(never had a relationship..want to beat mo/PMO before)... I am a follow of Jesus Christ and in his word it mentions sexual immorality a countless times...

    Ephesians 5:3
    Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people

    Genesis 2:24
    This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

    Mark 6:9
    Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

    Hebrews13:4
    Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery

    1Corinthians 6:18
    Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

    Matthew 5:28
    But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

    Etc...

    If it's mention a countless times it must means some sort of inportantance right? God has a unique design when it comes to sex, he design it to be only done with marraiges, that it should be share about a two people, should be kept pure and loving and clear from all sexual sin....it frustrates me how a lot of Christians knows all of this but yet they are willing to throw this aspect of the Christian walk to the in the reject pile. Like seriously why do Christians believe that having pre-marital sex is ok?? I ask my brother that cause he has premarital sex and he said that,"he was horny, and I love her" the key word is "Love" it shows me that people love themselves and they think they love somebody more than God.... In John 14:15 it says “If you love me, obey my commandments".....we should show our love towards God in all aspects of our lives by obeying his commandments. In the end my brother's relationship was a diseastor and they ended up broken up their engagement in bad terms (my brother was also pretty much force to get marry cause of pre-marital sex)....in the end if you have premarital sex to somebody that you think love, who says that relation is going to last and then what? that special moment of impurity is now officially tarnished and in theory was robbed from the both of you and now you have to confess or should confess to your new relationship and hopefully with another CHRISTIAN (I have another et peeve when it comes.to Christians dating non Christians).

    I was working one summer at a school and a close christian co-worker of mine ask if I was a virgin? I told.him "I am" and he used that and made me feel different in a bad way that I was a virgin and that it's not not.al.kr.unheard of these days that somebody around my age is still a virgin...he even suggested to me that I should hook with with a hooker to experience what it was all about and what not even though it's illegal....yeah I didn't do that and will not do that cause I want to lose my virginity how God meant it to be lose it with a wife and that way it will be meaningful and pure..

    Anyways that's my thoughts, I apologize if I offended anybody on here, wasn't my intention at all.
     
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  12. goodnice 2.0

    goodnice 2.0 Fapstronaut

    i would trust that things would work out. The only way things wouldn’t click is if i had some PIED or one of us has an unmatched sex drive. But I would be fine either way if she had low sex drive or if she had voracious sex drive. But that’s just me

    Also look at the flip side: people who have already had premarital sex are more likely to end up in divorce. And sex is oftentimes good in the beginning but then ppl confuse sex with love and lots of relationships break down before marriage bc of sex. If you are married, and you have some issues with sex, you can’t just leave other person. You committed to them and will strive to work it out

    Your argument sounds logical but it also sounds like an excuse to engage in that behavior. It’s better to put Gods law before your own desires, but that’s obviously incredibly hard to do sometimes such as in this case


    Idk man, its up to you what you do, im just stating my beliefs
     
  13. Souvent08

    Souvent08 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing the Bible quotes! It couldnt be more clear that sexual purity is a sign of a Godly man and I congratulate you for remaining strong and for loving God.
    I think you are setting a great example for other Christian men like myself. Your story motivates me to continue the walk of faith and to strive to follow God's commandments.

    Your brother's story is a great example of how sexual sin can affect a relationship. I hope that when I date I will not fall into the temptation to commit sexual sin. What you are saying is so hard to live up. That is why it's so rare to see that nowadays. Wish me luck my friend!
     
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  14. Tiger1

    Tiger1 Fapstronaut

    Thank you much for taking time and read my rant, I'm glad that you think the same way I do!!

    You don't need luck you have God!!!
     
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  15. Enwar

    Enwar Fapstronaut

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    Couples who were virgins at marriage tend to enjoy sex the most.
     
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  16. dustyastronaut

    dustyastronaut Fapstronaut

    I have a girlfriend and am proud that she and I are waiting for marriage. Can't wait until that time but I am happy to wait since it's God's will :)
     
  17. I don't see a problem with it because I don't plan on getting married and having kids.
     
  18. Quoowahb

    Quoowahb Fapstronaut

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    I was kind of ambivalent about sex before marriage. Although I wanted to have sex with my fiance, I was tremendously afraid of that intimacy. There is great risk in intimacy. I was afraid it wouldn't go well. I was afraid of not performing. I was afraid of exposing something about myself that my fiance would reject. I wanted to please God, but I was probably more afraid of sex than my desire to please Him. I was tempted to use my "desire for purity" and "waiting for marriage" as an excuse to be a coward. I decided I wouldn't push sex on her, but I wouldn't be "that guy" who pushes what comes naturally because of fear. After a year and a half of dating, I did have sex with my fiance after a party celebrating our engagement.
     
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  19. Green Monstah

    Green Monstah Fapstronaut

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    I have been single my whole life. I barely got dates. In the last 3 years, I was finally getting out an working on improving my game.

    I met my ex on an online dating site. Within a month we rushed to become official (it's both of our fault for falling too hard too fast). But at the time, there were a lot of things that brought us together. I lost my virginity to her at age 28. 2 months later, I broke up with her. I started finding out real deal-breakers and I found a lot of red flags. In time, I know she will realize that it wasn't going to work out between us in the long-term. It was definitely better to end things sooner than later.

    While I don't deny enjoying "it"... I mean of course I friggin enjoyed "it"... which was what made breaking up with her extremely hard, even thought it was the right to do.

    While many of my buddies were cheering me on for "finally gettin some action", I honestly have mixed feelings about it. I'm not sure how I feel. I do wish I waited--not necessarily until marriage--but wait until I REALLY got to know her, otherwise the result was that I find out the red flags much later, and it ends up hurting a whole lot more for both of us.

    My friends, do not feel pressured into having sex. I lost my virginity to my first girlfriend, and I have very mixed feelings about it in the event that I broke up with her... if you don't feel ready, then maybe you should listen.

    I also understand where a lot of "older" virgins are coming from. Some of us are more lonely, others are more lonely, or a combo of both... but listen to your brain more and not your heart or other organs.

    Take care!
     

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