Why does she contact me out of the blue?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by SorryWontSayIt, May 28, 2019.

  1. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut


    One year ago I dated the dream girl. Sadly we broke up because both of us were moving to different parts of the country. I lost my mind and was hearthbroken for a very long time.

    Still we kept in contact the last months before we moved, and were friends. We kept chatting on snapchat for some time after too. But after some time she started to chat/respond less to me.

    Today, 7 months without contact. She sent me a snap. Maybe I am making a big deal out of it, because I am currently too scared to open it. She was the first girl I ever loved. And if we could get back together I would do it without any problems. I can't even open other snaps, because I am so shaky on my hands...

    I am most likely overreacting, but it is just so random. OUT OF NOWHERE.

    Also two weeks ago, I asked an other girl to hang out for the first time after the break up with the first girl. The girl said yes, but things did not go as planned so it did not work out.

    I am truly scared. My mind is going crazy now.
  2. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut


    So I opened the snap. Was nothing special. But we sent a few snaps back and forth. Just asked she was doing etc.

    But I still wonder why she sent me a snap. Like I know from when we dated that she got a huge list of friends on her snapchat. Was it a mistake, do she want to get back in contact? Lots of thougths now in my head.

    I guess I will just try to stay calm for a bit and calm my mind before I do anything about it.

    I don't really know if I should do anything about it.

    I have moved on in one way. I have started to be open to meet other girls, asked a girl out last week. But I won't hide that I still would love to get in contact again. But I am really unsure about the situation.
    Last edited: May 28, 2019
  3. RequestDenied

    RequestDenied Fapstronaut

    My money is on the fact that she just broke up with a bf/ fling and is craving attention. Given your description, she betting you will bend over backwards to give her your undivided attention - which is what she craves to get over her breakup and feel desirable.

    My $.02 play it cool - don't overreact. If you have any standards for winning your attention, make her meet those standards and keep dating other girls.

    I could be totally wrong...

    But I doubt it lol
    A smooth1 and SorryWontSayIt like this.
  4. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    If you don't think you'll be able to interact with her without it ending in heartbreak or you losing your mind, then let it go.

    I'm assuming that there's no chance of a relationship because you two aren't living in the same area.

    So what would interacting with her accomplish other than hold you back from attaining a real relationship?
    SorryWontSayIt likes this.
  5. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the responses! :)

    Yeah, I won't let it hold me back from dating other girls.

    I know that it will be too difficult to date her again because of us living in to different parts of the country. So even tho I really liked spending time with her when we dated, it won't work now.

    So I will just let it stay as it is. I lost my mind for a bit because it was so out of the blue, but now after getting some time thinking I can see that it won't work for now.
    elevate likes this.
  6. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    If what you desire is connection and a healthy relationship, then you must feel that longing desire. Explore that pain and solve those problems. Allow that suffering and dissatisfaction to drive you towards what you want.

    Interacting with this girl from the past would only divert your focus and make you comfortable. You would be placing time and energy into something that isn't aligned to what you really want.

    Part of the reason why I don't use social media is that I don't like making it easy and convenient for people to interact with me. If someone wants to be in my life, then they have to make an effort (and vice versa). Rather than someone just sending a few lines of text, then turning off their device, and then you're not really a part of each other's life. Just something used for comfort.
    recon117 likes this.
  7. UK Lad

    UK Lad Fapstronaut

    Don’t chase her. It’s reverse psychology. Maybe she’s been getting laid and broke up or she can’t find anyone after being with you. Women are clever. Let her chase you. Watch the results. Be shy in your responses but firm a little . Be nice but don’t say too much. Just be normal. Problem with pmo is, it can make someone crazy about another in the wrong way. It’s all psychological,

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