Why fight?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Bjarni Herjolfson, Sep 6, 2018.

  1. Bjarni Herjolfson

    Bjarni Herjolfson Fapstronaut

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    Why fight masturbation, why fight the urges? This is what I've been thinking. I've lost a long streak and all will to continue. I know it will be awesome in the end to quit, I just don't have drive; there just seems to be no reason to go on resisting. I once felt guilty about pmo, it seemed so immoral, and that was my drive. Now I'm numbed...
    I need help!
    Tell me, why do you resist? What is your pre-battle speech?
    What reason or thought drives you forward to the other side?
     
    VeganRights likes this.
  2. im_broken

    im_broken Fapstronaut

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    Perhaps you don't need to resist but let the urges flow through you while if necessary distracting yourself, such as you would do during meditation. If images are too much then distraction, push ups, cold showers, focusing on an object or the sensations on your foot etc should work

    Resistance just creates more tension
     
  3. I lost a long streak too and I've been struggling.

    At the moment my motivation is to chip away at all the bullshit in my mind and in the world. Rationalisations for PMO in particular. I plan to keep asking myself, "Is this bullshit?" The same goes for other negative thoughts and anxieties.

    "Let me tell you a story, John. There was a sculptor. He found this stone, a special stone. He dragged it home and he worked on it for months until he finally finished it. When he was ready he showed it to his friends. They said he had created a great masterpiece, but the sculptor said he hadn't created anything. The statue was always there, he just chipped away the rough edges. You're always going to be tearing away at yourself until you come to terms with who you are. Until you come full circle. "
    ―Colonel Sam Trautman to John Rambo.

    But if you want pre-battle speeches:



     
  4. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    You are quite right, if you don't have a reason, it will be really difficult to resist.

    My reason si that pmo destroyed my life, my body, my mind, that wasn't life anymore. So that's my reason. But i agree that you must have one to fight, if my life was ok with pmo,i probably would never stopped.
     
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  5. SensualLettuce

    SensualLettuce Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, i relapsed almost everyday this week and the idea of "why do I want to be alive" and "why am I doing this" came up and it sort of threw me off because it popped up as minor suicidal ideation. What I arrived to is simple. It's the idea that I want to have a life complete with happy experiences and detoxing from Porn is necessary for me to get there . From future to current motivation I want to go about my days without the worry of porn and it's poor effects being in my life. Everytime I almost relapse I try to take as much action to stop, but the thing I remind myself of is that I have the opportunity to likely experience decades of my life without porn. I get excited about the rewards and remind myself that I just need to have the discipline to do so.

    Porn addiction suggests a very toxic and false reality of what the world is while also inhibiting personal growth. How I look at it is that I've never truly discovered who I really am because I've been using porn as a crutch. Giving it up lends to a positive experience in the long run but getting their is the hard part because I need to remedy the underlying issues while getting over the withdrawal effects. With that said, the motivation can be different for everyone. It's anecdotal advice but what I did was use the process of elimination to establish who I'm not and who I don't want to be, which gave insight into who I am and want to be. The process felt honest and genuine and so I'd suggest doing that to figure out what you're genuinely motivated by, because from experience, it's my recharge when I relapse, my motivation before and when I do and my security when I feel afraid. Sounds cliche and pretentious, but It's what helps me.
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2018
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  6. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    It depends if you have a goal... mine is to be the best version of me or 'New Me' as I call myself... no way can I PMO and be the best version of me!!!!
     
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  7. Frediscos

    Frediscos Fapstronaut

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    Porn even takes away your drive to quit watching it. Please don't get that confused with who you actually are. You said it yourself that porn is immoral and you felt guilt after watching it, but then after continued use you became numb. That numbness is your brain becoming desensitized, a side effect of porn. Please get up and continue to fight!! Don't wait for the motivation to do it because that rarely comes and when it does it fades away. Its just something you absolutely HAVE to do no matter what.
     
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  8. I do it for what you said in one of your last sentences, which is being numb, I hate this feeling.
     
  9. Beamer

    Beamer NoFap Moderator
    Staff Member

    @Bjarni Herjolfson : Do it for yourself and your future.
    Love yourself enough to endure the discomfort of a reboot, it will bring you only good things.
    Pmo if done constantly is destroying your life, your mindset, your brain, and your body.

    Take a look here: www.yourbrainonporn.com That should be reason enough my friend :)
    Good luck ! :)
     
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  10. lantti

    lantti Fapstronaut

    Why is the easy part.
    Yet you seem to have failed to answer that question. Just doing stuff because someone had said it's immoral is not a good reason to do it for anybody. Everybody wants to rebel. Instead, think of the physical, mental and time-consuming side of pmo. And then you're on the right track in answering the question "why".

    As for the drive, flatline will kill it anyway, you have to make up without it. I can. It's hard for me yes, but only because of the withdrawals, and not because I would have urges to do it. It's all temporary once you feel you can quit.
     
  11. SensualLettuce

    SensualLettuce Fapstronaut

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    2 days ago.
     

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