Why Guys become uglier after Marriage?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Furozima10, Aug 7, 2021.

  1. Furozima10

    Furozima10 Fapstronaut

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    Hey!

    I've noticed a lot of Guys becoming very Ugly after Marriage

    Why's that?

    My older friend for example always looked Handsome, and Pretty good, and at the moment he got married, he started becoming ugly, not shaving, not taking care of him self, not wearing nice clothes.

    I mean why does Marriage change people?

    It happened to my other friend too.

    It's like mens after Marriage stop taking grooming themselves. I just wanna know the reason why?!
     
  2. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

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    Well, it seems that many people simply stop trying after marriage, because they think they've done enough as it is, now that they're married they can let loose. A tip that I got from an older friend in a healthy marriage, keep working on yourself, don't act like the "game" is won.

    I personally think this is the cause for some marriages ending, let's say a person (man or woman) stops caring at all about themselves..they are no longer the person the other fell for in the beginning. This can lead to a lot of issues down the line.
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2021
  3. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

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    Why women gain 40 tons of weight after marriage?

    I mean, the reason is the same, as @Redemptionisrequired very well explained.
     
    Redemptionisrequired likes this.
  4. Just an assumption, since I’m
    Not in the position I’m question. I think they lose it since they were doing it to attract a mate not for themselves.
     
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  5. Maybe it's related to betrayal trauma and all the effects that go along with it. It isn't necessarily because they "let themselves go." Finding out your husband is a P addict after you're married can really take its toll on you. Besides, not all wives gain "40 tons" after getting married. Some lose weight because of the stress of BT. It affects people differently.

    Yes, some people do stop taking care of themselves after marriage, but it isn't fair to assume that's all that's going on.
     
    DefendMyHeart likes this.
  6. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

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    [​IMG]
     
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  7. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

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    Excuse me is "betrayal trauma" some slang for "avoiding to take responsability of oneself"?
     
    Redemptionisrequired likes this.
  8. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    No, it’s not but speaking for myself, it’s easier to accept rejection if you can tell yourself it’s because you gained weight. Even though logically you know he’s been rejecting you sexually for years while you were thin. Doesn’t give you much incentive to take care of yourself. Once you realize ( or at least I did) that he was the problem, that’s when I detached and started focusing on me. I may not look 23 but I love the way I feel now.
     
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  9. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

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    You need incentive derived from others to take personal responsability over yourself? Or rather stop doing it if what you thought was an incentive, you stop to consider it such?

    As far as I'm aware, you either do stuff for yourself, or don't.

    Sorry if I'm too blunt, but the other person was never the problem, if thinking that helps you cope with your own personal responsability and taking care of yourself so be it.
     
  10. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Yes, he was the problem in our marriage. He was an addict. An addict who refused to listen to his wife, who begged him to go to counseling, who repeatedly asked what was wrong. Why on earth didn’t my 23 yr old husband want to have sex with me?! Why was he always “ escaping?” I was young when I married and I took care of myself because I wanted him to find me attractive. When he didn’t, it was easier to give up caring for myself so that I could lie to myself that the reason he didn’t find me attractive was my weight, once I realized I mattered despite what he thought or did , then I took responsibility for my actions. If you think you can be married and the actions of your spouse don’t affect you, then you’re delusional. Most spouses blame themselves for the problems within the marriage not even knowing their spouse is an addict. They take on ALL the responsibility because the addict sure doesn’t take any.
     
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  11. People tend to settle.
    Remember that guy who gained 10 pounds of muscle in college. Look at him in his 40s. Chances are he'll not even look like he lifted. There are so few lifters who'll regularly train for the rest of their lives. These guys have desire, dedication and a hunger to be the best version of themselves. (Also applies to other stuff in life, for example, maybe your career, your knowledge, your married life, your hobbies etc.)

    That's human nature. Very few people work hard for the sake of working hard. They just reach a goal, and that's it. They don't have any more desire to set new milestones. (Not saying there's something wrong with it.)
     
  12. Red Riot

    Red Riot Fapstronaut

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    In this forum we only talk about P and M. But not every marrriage problem has to do it with these two.

    @SickSicko I agree with you that not every problem in a relationship has to do with the other, and we should take responsability over our acts. But if it is a serious marriage, with real love involved, she's right though. Kind of like being depressed: you are responsible for your acts, but there are some situations that take off some of that responsibility.
     
  13. Red Riot

    Red Riot Fapstronaut

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    Lots of reason: less time, less energy, less money (i mean, gyms, creams, proteins, aren't cheap and are expendable) they let themselves go, they take marriage for granted, they accept each other better and they overlook physical appearance... One for each marriage.
     
  14. They stop working on themselves because they already found their mate. My dad was handsome when he was in college but got married and became a workaholic. So now, he has a fat stomach and sits all day during the weekend because he works too much.

    Same thing happened with my mom, she gained weight and lost her youthful appearance after college but she was pretty in college.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 9, 2021
  15. Can you explain this concept more? So what's the best way to not stop working on ourselves when we achieve certain goals?
     
  16. Discipline.
     
  17. Isn't self-improvement journey required self-discipline? And the more we get involved in self-improvement, the more we can be disciplined, right? (Because in order to tackle down our daily tasks, we need discipline)
     
  18. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    Its because women hog the bathroom.
     
  19. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    One more reason I'm not getting married, rather stay single my whole life.
     

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