Why Guys become uglier after Marriage?

I think it has more to do with priorities than letting go. Marriage comes with responsibilities that you don’t have when your not, especially given that it tends to coincide with getting older, having kids, working in more demanding roles etc. These things take up time, and, unsurprisingly, you tend to find less time (and energy) for staying in shape.
Oh course, there is the fact that you don’t have to worry about looking your best anymore, which is a complacency that creeps in over time when you’re in a secure relationship. Though, I would say, that tends to happen with long term relationships in general, and when people more in together, not merely married couples.

 

The age and kids thing especially! I finally decided I was a better mother when I worked out consistently and hard! Joined a cross fit gym that really pushed me. Gym closed due to Covid and weight slowly crept up until I found another gym. First day back when I hit home my kids said “ what had gotten into you?” You’re so happy! Daughters immediately said “ moms working out again!” lol. It makes a huge difference. I’ve been with my husband 35 years, I work out harder now than I ever have because it makes me feel great.

 

lmao

 

From what I can tell most people seem to go downhill with age. Not all people, but I would say the majority of people seem to go downhill with age. I have noticed a lot of people the same age as me, who were very attractive in their teens, early twenties have seriously went downhill in their late twenties, early thirties.

 

In one word, stress. Even the best marriages are intensely stressful. Putting another person 1st (which marriage calls you to do) is not how we're innately wired. For many, the coping mechanisms that are most readily available are also very unhealthy. Porn, overwork, overeating, drinking too much, etc. etc. It's also incredibly expensive to have a family these days (and getting worse) and if you're the sole breadwinner in the family, whether male or female, that takes the pressure up to a whole nother level.

As for women, the childbearing process by nature deteriorates their body and unless they put in a ridiculous amount of discipline and self-work after having children, you can pretty much count on their physical appearance going south (hence the appeal of "MILFs" because they are the exception). Many women prioritize their children during these years at the cost of themselves and again, that's the expectation of being a "good mom" so no woman should be judged for that but it's the reality.

That all said, it's not a hard and fast rule. I've had numerous people look at our wedding pictures from 22 yrs ago and say, "you look better now". Despite my dark brown hair having turned salt and pepper with mostly salt. But I am also much more self-aware than I was then, the three daughters I inherited in the marriage are all adults with their own lives now (giving me much more free time and worlds less stress) and I've put in a hell of a lot of work to improve myself in all facets.

 

Along the same lines, I've often wondered if the tendency to lose physical appeal after marriage is something that's built into us to happen as a protection mechanism. Especially women after they have kids. Once their body is ruined then there's less a chance other guys will be attracted to them and tempt them to stray, which could break up the family. I know the OP was asking why GUYS get ugly after marriage but it happens to women too, like, a lot. I've known a lot of women who had incredible bodies before they got married but I can count on one hand with fingers left over how many of them looked even half that good 10 years into a marriage no matter how good the relationship was.

 

In my experience this mostly applies to heterosexual couples. All of the gay couples I know look just as good, if not even better after marriage. According to surveys there´s also increased general pressure among gay man to look as good and fit as possible. To be honest: this is quite stressful. The idea of entering a phase in life where looks don´t mater so much anymore and where you´re being loved anyways sounds quite good to me.

 

Cause the guy take the girl for granted. That's all.

I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of divorces was because of the guy not taking care of himself anymore.

 

Money, actually.

 

Depending on the measurement, money, infidelity, and communication breakdown dominate divorces. But it’s consistently those 3, or some combination.