Here's the thing. Before I discovered masturbation I got violent temper tantrums several time a week. I cannot get angry in a normal, controlled manner. If I get angry, I burn out completely and want to see the destruction of the entire Cosmos, including myself. If you have read the original entry, you can see that I was not emotionally well-functioning before puberty either. On the contrary, probably without masturbation as a coping mechanism I would be in jail or more likely in permanent mental care. Gym doesn't work either. It makes me angrier. And there's full of masculine guys at gym, and I feel threatened by masculine guys. They love to give advice too if I'm training the wrong way, and then my response would be "SHUT UP! YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME!" and then I would kick at my machine and leave.