why I haven't relapsed for 1 year > my "secret"

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by King Tut, Aug 21, 2019.

  1. King Tut

    King Tut Fapstronaut

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    when some guys find out about the longevity of my NoFap, they ask me what's my secret and what to do once you get really horny. my secret is the following...

    unconsciously, i was on NoFap. then I started watching porn in high school. it was because a friend of mine convinced me that fapping "is good. otherwise, your cum just sits there." so then i went wild experimenting with all sorts of porn, regular, fbbs, bbws, interracial, etc.. then my porn fetishes got worse and worse and before i knew it, regular irl girls didn't even turn me on. i needed hardcore porn models with plastic surgeries or weird shit to do anything for me.

    15 years later, i became bored with sex and my sex drive has hit an all time low. it got to a point that whenever i wanted to release, it wasn't because i was horny. but it was because i felt the need due to a program running in my brain of wanting to feel good, and that it's "good" for me to release my semen. i was so conditioned, i felt like a dope fiend looking for his next hit. and if i didn't get it, i felt depressed or sad. my irl probs of not getting women and having almost no social skills was the reason why i need this "hit".

    so, what is my "secret"? after all this time, it got to a point where NO PORN did it for me. my biggest and most exciting fetish became void. i felt empty and each time i came felt nothing less then liquid dripping down my dick. there was 0 pleasure, and i felt like i was robbed off my manhood. this brought me to a stage where i felt suicidal and like kms. it was the worst feeling in the world. i could not even enjoy myself looking at a woman of any kind that once gave me a sexual rush or enjoyment sexually. because in my pants, i felt nothing. it was like having a dead stick dangling between your legs. and this stick needed some sort of pornography in order to get around a 60% of erection. even then, i'd have to force it myself. because my dick would not go up on his own.

    now each time i get horny and feel the need to have sex, even without having a partner as i never had any sort of a relationship with the opposite sex, i get high on the sexual feeling. it's like a form of meditation. i do exercise regularly that calms me down. but at some point, horniness goes away and i'm back to feeling calm and relaxed. and that is 100% better than feeling dead and empty. i guess if i didn't go through this, i would not have gone this far. i'm still going and i hope i don't give in one day when life becomes even harder.
     
  2. Chappie77

    Chappie77 Fapstronaut

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    I can really identify with that escalation of the content you described.
    I have nearly always masturbated with porn of some description.
    Before I had any internet a couple of pages of women in lingerie could do.
    Then one women with one men.
    Then multiple stuff.
    This year I started to look at she-male porn.
    Something I would never of been into before.
    I think these sites push new deviancies on users.

    Can I ask something about what you said at the end?
    Do you not ever want to have a sexual partner?
    Listen I've been down that road.
    I made a decision years ago not to get with another woman again.
    This was after repeatedly failing due to sexual dysfunction.
    PMO became my sex life.
    But I never decided to forgo sexual activity for the rest of my life.
    Even now I hope to heal myself and find a partner to have a normal sex life with.

    I'm just wondering why you seem to be turning away from it?
    380 days is an amazing accomplishment.
    I'm just wondering if you can turn that determination into finding a soulmate.
     
  3. Good work man. I can understand having to resort to weirder forms of porn. I used to get aroused around normal attractive women. But now I need hardcore porn in order to ejaculate.
    I will cetainly think about how you deal with your urges. Take care and keep up the good work.
     
    King Tut likes this.
  4. King Tut

    King Tut Fapstronaut

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    I do, but it's hard af. some days i wanna give up because how hard it is for me to talk to women, form a connection, and ask them out. soulmate sounds like a good idea, but i just wanna get good at getting dates and be good with women. finding a soulmate is another comfy pill that will let you be in your comfort zone until it's over. then i'll be in the same boat again looking for a partner.
     
  5. King Tut

    King Tut Fapstronaut

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    that's how porn works, and that is why it's so damaging to men who consume it regularly. regular stuff becomes boring, so you need to go to more extreme lengths to satisfy your newly developed fetishes.
     
    ifthecoppertubes likes this.
  6. Elihu

    Elihu Fapstronaut

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    You are doing great work. What I can say is that you don't want to enter a relationship and not have a sexual hunger for your partner especially when/if you get married and you have issues getting an erection. That stuff kills the fire in a marriage/relationship easy in most scenarios. I imagine the scenario that it wouldn't is if your partner never wanted to connect sexually with you.
     
    ifthecoppertubes and Lilla_My like this.
  7. Hi @King Tut Thank you for sharing that. It really touched my heart because i felt similar to you.

    I didn’t quit because i was completely dead down there, but i was able to quit because i finally understood that it could not give me satisfaction, and it no longer gave me any good feelings, only bad. I felt only emptiness and despair after relapse. There was no longer any thoughts or feelings of liking it or wanting to go back, only pure hatred at what it had took from me.

    When you go from wanting pmo to no longer wanting is when you have a good chance to win. If you’re still wanting, then it’s game over for you.
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.

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